I just shouldn’t talk anymore. Whenever I say something, it’s always wrong. People laugh at me because of it and when I ask for them to stop they only laugh harder. I say things like ‘ I feel so stupid’ or ‘I’m such an idiot’ and people just smile and nod. I’m always yelled at for things I say or do. I feel like I need to do something like cut but I’m too scared to. I think they’ll find out and hurt me or send me to a therapist. I’m just so confused. I’m so alone. I’m just not okay anymore. I used to […]
Tag:
Stupid
Hello. This is my first post here. IÂ don’t really know why I’m writing this. I guess I just want to spill it out. May be it will help me to cope with my feelings.
I feel so angry at myself for complaining about my life. I mean look at the world around us. People are dying from hunger, from war, from diseases, from cancer….and here I am. Safe and sound…well…for now…
I’m almost 18. Feel like 12 years old to be honest. How did I even get that old. So fast.
I dont have anything to hold on to. Relationship with my family is…how can i put it…not the one […]
its stupid my old foks are out i think i held i knife in my hand for harf the day befor i realisd what i was doing im pethetic im sorry i even wast your time im losing the game in facet i think i lost a long time ago :/ i know you cant be here with me but some times i think you are nd i start to talk to you but then i realis im on my own am i going crazey im sorry im like this i cant help being help less am i atenchion seeking i dont know am i […]
Is there really a point to any of the shit we do? It all seems so meaningless and empty. I don’t want the stupid American dream. I just want to enjoy my life, but that won’t happen. Not in this world. It really does suck.
I have come to realise that I actually do not want to get better, ever since I could remember, I have been depressed. And walking away from all that you know to become something else, something allegedly better is way too confronting for me.
Just thinking about this, scares me. And I feel like I am a stupid coward for not wanting to change, I could be normal. I could be happy if I tried. But I don’t think I ever will…
No one has any idea how completely suicidal I am. I know everyone out there must think I should get help. But I do not want help. I want to kill myself before anyone realizes I should get help. And now again, I know what you must think, well why would you be posting on a public forum? Well, I have just bottled up everything for so long without being able to tell a soul. All of my true feelings about everything have just been trapped inside me. I have to lie to everyone about everything all the time. It’s horrible. I literally refuse to […]
The real world isn’t rainbows and sparkles.
It’s not always fun and rarely easy.
Honestly its far from easy or fun.
It’s cruel and brutal,
Cold and heartless,
Unforgiving and dark,
Depressing and awful,
Bitchy and duechey,
Pointless and crazy,
And so are the people in the fucked up world.
Its full of the terrible people,
people that feed off your pain,
they will do anything to make you suffer.
People are vile and cruel.
They will do anything to make you miserable.
Some days they are going to win,
but some day they will lose and you will realize how strong you are.
I am a over thinker
Usually at night all of my problems run to my head and hit me like a freight train
I can’t do anything about it because everyone is asleep
I can’t cry because they will hear me
I can’t scream either
Literally all I can do is lay there all numb bottling up my thoughts
Later it leads to me over thinking things that arn’t even true
That my mind is just making up
And I’m believing it
I start to get fusturated, mad, sad, wanting to hurt someone
But instead I hurt myself
I grab the sharp edge and […]
Hey, my name is Jack.
today has been a pretty shit day, just like every other day I guess. In year 7 is when it all started, my dad stopped being my dad.
Dad was working in the Air Force and previously worked in the navy for years, so he is a respectable man. Although while i was in year 7, he got discharged from the air force for injuring his knee and neck. Now I’m 18, I finished school last year, I hated school. I hated the teacher, I hated the education, i hated the school in general. Everyone is so stupid, i honestly felt like one of the smartest people in the […]
spiral, a downward spiral. those two words: my life. I was going to kill my self, jump off a tower SURPRISE! i pass out and wake up to find out I have cancer (however the hell that works) then I find out that…SURPRISE! the cancer is spreading. (although I have to admit sstarving the cancer has worked a lot so thanks to those who suggessted that) I went back to school and duh, stupid me! I seriously thought they’d leave me alone since I had cancer, maybbe they’d show some sympathy instesd of hate….hell no. Surprise! i have so much anger toward the world inside […]
I am not skinny. I am not fat. I am not pretty. I am not ugly. I am not mean. I am not nice. I am not popular. I am not unpopular. I am not weird. I am not normal. I am not social. I not quiet. I am not liked. I am not disliked. I am not happy. I am not angry. I only identify as one thing; sad. That’s it. Why? I am tired. I am sick (recently diagnosed with heart problems). I have no real friends left. I have no caring family. Why? I never did anything, to anyone. I used to […]
Don’t lie to me telling me I’m pretty, don’t tell me it’s gonna be okay. The only thing stopping me from it is how I’m gonna do it. But don’t mind me. I know you don’t care. Because every time I tried to reach out and talk you shut me down and told me to stop talking about this shit. I apologize. Soon you won’t have to worry about this. 15 years, I made it 15 years, alone, abandoned and rejected. Nothing but a disappointment. I don’t belong anywhere. I don’t know what love feels like. I don’t know what it’s like to be wanted. […]
My proposed Note or “willâ€
(If you don’t give a fuck [as I suspect you don’t] and just want to get to the will skip the paragraphs and go to the bolded text.)
I killed myself because I can’t make heads or tails of life. My luck is almost always bad, and I am tired of hardship. Like many who have been in this place I have contemplated, and while the one’s full of vigor and self-righteousness say to live is the hardest, that isn’t true. It’s taken me a lot of research and commitment to die. Staying alive was not because I chose to do the […]
This website, though I havent been on for an extremely long time, has seriously made my days a bit brighter.
It’s just nice to have some people who kind of understand what I’m going through. kind of.
But still, it feels exremely good to share my feelings with people who wont judge. I wont be called an attention seeker, wont get judged, and will be talking to people who will actually listen.
To be honest, I started this because I was basicly forced to. My therapist, who has become a very good friend of mine even though I’m a teenager, said it might be good to talk out […]
murder.
you killed me.
murder.
bleed, bleed.
murder.
Is it funny now.
murder.
knock me to the ground.
murder.
am I still a slut.
murder.
80 lbs. is fat now.
murder.
am I still a ****?
murder.
Missing her makes me a ****** now?
murder.
yes I know i’m crazy. I’ve heard it before.
murder.
Yes I know I should die. you’ve said it before.
murder.
I don’t know why I’m still here.
murder.
Give me a gun and I’ll dissapear.
murder.
is it funny now?
murder.
seeing me life drained on the ground.
murder.
Did it satisfy.
looking at my cuts, watching me cry.
I feel so stupid. yesterday i didn’t go to school, and so i was in my room, and i lit my candle. A piece of paper fell into it and caught on fire. I not thinking, grabbed it and got out of my room. I ended up with 2nd degree burns on my thumb. I feel great. My bf was at school today to turn in his books and say goodbye. He really isn’t coming back and i told myself that im stupid for actually thinking that his sister was wrong and he was coming back.
I really just want to escape […]
A promise is a promise
No matter how dumb.
A promise is a promise
No matter how strong.
I keep my promises
But this one, no?
I want to die
And this time ill go..
So does anyone feel like me and want to commit suicide in a lame way – not quickly, but just by not taking care of myself and not worrying about consequences?
I’m afraid to actually kill myself quickly and noticeably because I don’t want people to think poorly of me. I know, it’s stupid, I’d be dead.  I just have been through a lot and I don’t see life worth living.  So why not just have fun, not care about what situations I put myself in, and then whatever happens happens?
Or is that too slow a process? There’s a lot of pain while waiting. Â What else can I […]
I can’t take it anymore. How can I be such an idiot. I let the love of my life use me and take advantage of me once again. After a year. Of him running back and not knowing what he wants, and me somehow always being there for him anyways. How can he so this to me. I never felt such pain from one guy. i love him, Â but all he does it throw me around and take me for granted. When will he realize one day I’m really gonna be gone and I won’t be there to fall for his games anymore. Where is […]
im fat, stupid, dumb, a waste. my boyfriend threatens to break up with me because im depressed. my family members all think im a brat for not being interested in anything they have to say. all i want to do is die. its easier than waking up everyday knowing someones going to do something to hurt me. Then im dramatic for feeling and thinking this way. no ones cares and everybody judges. i cant find any reasons to be happy, i know im not alone but thats what it feels like.