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Subconscious
Hello! I’m writing this in order to get some help, and be sure that i’ve made the right decision.
I wrote this to another person on another website:Â <<<Â I feel the same as you do/did “Every day I wake up feeling terrible! I don’t want to die,i just don’t want to live like this.” and i felt it since i was your age 17/18 and then i was dreaming about killing myself but i talked to others and i was to weak to take my own life so i said that i’ll wait, that things will get better, two years have passed and i had a big […]
A while back my aunt took me to a therapist, for my depression.She then took me to a lady who prescribed medication!God, I was so freaking mad, still am a bit peeved.Since hen my depression and anorexia have only gotten worse,I have stated previously that nothing will help but she didn’t listen and now its progressed to a stage where I’m slowly turning into a vegetable (medical term).Also you might not think this but I’m 13 and my life has completely fallen to pieces.If you want to know the full story then look at my other posts but even then you wont know the full […]
Waking up–that’s the hardest thing for me to do. I find myself tired all of the time. It’s not so much that I am physically tired as it is that I am mentally tired, and my brain transmits the feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and restlessness to the rest of my body. My dreams are a blur… images of things that I can’t get to make sense, my meaningless days played back and forth for my mind to review. Scenes for my brain to recount so it can ask itself, “What went wrong?” and “How the hell did we end up here?” Sleep is supposed to […]
At may this year had a boyfriend ( I am a 19 year old bisexual female) who was pro poly-amory, before I knew it I was having a party on MDMA kissing 2 friends of my boyfriend and the girl of one of those friends. I started a sexual relationship with the 2 friends and the girl ( I had my boyfriend as well) which was pretty awesome. Sometimes one on one, sometimes threesomes… foursomes… fivesomes… After four weeks he broke up with me because I was too clingy. My subconscious tells me he just thought I was too fat, ugly and stupid, but he […]
Well i want to kill myself. Its been that way for a few years and i mad 1 attempt so far (not recently). If been abused a little as a child, my parents divorced due to my dads drug addiction when i was in 4th grade. I never had a single friend till sophomore year in high school. Every one hated me even tho i was the quiet sit in the corner kid. I was extreamly bullied till high school. The reason im still here is because the 1st friend i made in high school made me think that life is worth living. Eventually i […]
Well it’s been a while that I came to this site. I don’t know if anybody missed me, my existence doesn’t really matter at this point anyway. I’m just a shell moving by the habits that have been inprinted in it.
It has been a month since I moved in Ontario. Following this lofty scenario where I deluded myself with naive idea that my life would get better, that “grass is alway greener on the other side”. Well I don’t see any more colors here either. It just came to me today that I have been eating only one “meal” of junkfood a day since three […]
I will never forget this as long as I live. I was 17, I’m almost 21 now, and I was taking a shower one Sunday night. It was June 7, 2009. Two days after my prom, and a month after my boyfriend, who I was madly in love with, broke up with me. I was numb. I stood underneath the water and kept raising the temperature high and higher, burning myself with scalding hot water. I felt like my whole body was withering away, and the pain was magical. I felt as if i could finally feel something again other than darkness and eternal agony.
I […]