When i first decided to stop drinking and eating entirely I made the decision to die, at the time that I began my painful journey I had already felt no need to eat anything at all, the thought of a big juicy hamburger nauseated me. With many of those seeking a chance to escape, I plea with you to decide between Irrational Suicide and Compassionate death, I know that it may sound ridiculous to for whatever reason to willingly kill yourself, period. Many people who take this path are those who are already dying and have wanted to shorten their suffering, this is the difference […]
As I sit before my computer alone for the second day in a row, the sun shines brightly outside. I realize now that the suffering i’m about to undergo is irrational, but is it truly irrational to want to voluntarily give up life for peace? The method of giving up drinking and eating will end my life in the course of 10 days or more, during this time I will experience coming to terms with myself as the pain in my stomach slowly claims my life. I know that there is no way to write final words without them seeming dramatic or attention-seeking. A long […]
the coward’s way out, then I’d rather be a smart coward than brave and delusional
ever since I’ve stopped going to college (sept. 2011), I’ve been trying to figure out what I’m supposed to do next, what path to follow .. in vain
but the truth is: a future where I’m glad I’m still alive, where I’ve found a purpose is a self-inflicted lie .. my ego+personality knows that when I die, it will be the end of it and it can’t stand the idea of its own death .. so it would rather fool me into believing there’s still something to gain from, something to accomplish […]
Only 20 minutes ago i stumbled onto this site. I wasn’t looking to share a story about my life, or connect with others who felt the same as i do. I simply was looking for a small amount of inspiration for a friend of mine who’s thought of suicide. After finding this site i was instantly reeled in by a numerous amount of stories. Stories written by people right now just like myslef. Only a few minutes ago i read one about someone who wishes to die right now. And i know they’re not the only one wishing for the same relief..
Yes, i have thought […]
I’ve never written a suicide letter before, or maybe I have, they were surely times in my life when I should have.
But how to you even begin without sounding terribly clique’ and readable? I guess I’ll never know, because really you can’t know until you’re dead and everyone has read the letter. I hope mine gets stolen and passed around the local schools. I’ll write tons of terrible secrets I’ve kept inside about everyone I know and let my down fall create such conflict that they forget I’m even gone. Even in death I long to make suffering controllable.
But those are for later […]
DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them […]
I’m so sick. Everyone wants me dead. Why do I keep trying to find someone to hold on to? Noone will ever care about me. I can’t keep the happy face anymore, it’s just too much. Everytime that I show someone the agony inside they’re like “Run for the hills”. I will always be alone. Noone could ever love a stupid loser like me. I thought that I could help if I would talk to people around here. But how could a fuck up like me ever help anyone when I can’t even help myself? Everyone is going to be better without me. Nobody will […]
Hello, I’m new to the site.
My name is Jaspar and I think I’m going to die…
What to say? I came to this site out of desperation…I’ve tried everything, therapy, meds which just leave me feeling sick. nothing is working. I’m just so fucking tired. I’m scared, so very scared of dieing…but the pain of life is too great and Depression got the best of me. I’m actually almost…excited? that I may end my suffering and go into an eternal sleep. I just have to find the right method of suicide now. I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s like death is fucking calling me. My […]
I do not believe that I will live to see the next year. I have no exact date yet to fulfill my plan, but I do not believe that I can carry on much long. I still have many things to do, to make things as painless as possible for my dearest ones. There so much to do, but in the end I’ll be at peace.
For years I’ve been handling this feelings, but nowadays I mostly feel emptiness. I’ve been tired too long to carry on anymore for long, and I’m sorry for that. I’m just too tired and empty. I just hope that they […]
I have never, ever put my thoughts and pain and utter dejection into print before. I have read countless posts and can honestly say I see so many differing viewpoints that I feel more lost than ever. I have lived with depression and epilepsy for a long time, too many years. You would not believe the effort writing this has been! Or maybe you would. I have now been researching “my exit” for several months. I care little for painless methods I care little for anything at all to be honest. What I seek is an affective method a guarantee of success if you like. […]
So i just found out today that my best friends mom, who might as well be my mother, has had to go back to have more chemotherapy done to fight her cancer. She had to go to the hospital for an allergic reaction to the therapy.  We almost lost her…
Shes home now thank god. Â But it kills me to see her like this. Â She refuses to go back for any more help. Â She wants to ends her suffering now.
I don’t know what to do.  Life isn’t fair i know, but WTF!
This is about me 3 years ago and how I survived looking into the horror that I have created. I was a lonely person my whole life and I been reading all the time. What else does a boy with no friends have to do. Anyway at age of 17 I spent months in my room reading. I had hundreds of books there. And one book which I ran across had affected me in a very bad way. I got interested in it and I read it over and over and somehow suddenly it affected me. I began to have paranoid thoughts and become scared […]
If you don’t know, The Sunset Limited is a movie, about a suicidal man with two very famous actors in it. Its defiantly worth a watch.
Anyways, I feel like Tommy Lee Jones in that movie. Nobody gets me, except for the people on this site! I’m living in a constant state of agony as I have never felt in my life. As some of you know I tried to hang myself yesterday. I landed on with my feet on the floor the first time I tried due to not calculating the rope position properly after the noose was tightened it left too much space. So […]
I don’t get how god could save some one from suicide. Seems pretty negligent to let someone who you love get that depressed in the first place. An all powerful loving god would save them from themselves before he saves them from suicide. This god is not all loving. I actually wonder if there is a god, then maybe he enjoys our suffering and pain. A sadistic god would make sense considering the world he created.
if you are reading this then i am hopfully be dead or at least in hospital! wish me luck and be happy my suffering has ended! 😀
Living is suffering for me. I know some would say that I should feel like I have a great life. But they are only saying that because of my material objects.
They don’t know that I stay up late at night, crying because I have to hide so much of myself. My family is Christians, and they make fun of gays. It’s so hard due to the fact that I am a bisexual atheist. And it’s not like I have the courage to just tell them.
I don’t know exactly how long I’ve been depressed, but I noticed some notes of mine dating back to […]
Everything about me is broken
my phone, my bank account, my heart
i wish someone would just take them
and give me a brand new start
I’ve gone through bullets and knives
through fire and ice
through volts and ropes
through drugs and loves
through suffocation and exoneration
And yet i still am alive
I beg for peace
i beg for calm
i beg for death
and yet nothing has happened but
pain
suffering
and silence.
I am broken, body and soul
nothing in this world will make me whole
because i am scattered in a million peices
and there’s no way i can find them all
people say the word time alot
Life gets better with time
Just give it time
I just need some time to figure things out
Only time will tell
Time heals all wounds
Time is used as a lie and an excuse
People take advantage of the time they use
The only people who truly appreciate time are those who have seen it run out; either for themselves or someone else.
Because time is a lie to those who wish to end their lives
Time just means more suffering.
Still time is a gift to those who survive and wish to cling to life.
My time […]
This quote is in several articles online about happiness.
“First, your brain adjusts feelings of happiness downward after you’ve reached some goal or other. It regulates the good feelings, presumably so that you have motivation to reach the next goal instead of just lounging by the pool for the rest of your days. “
Which can sort of be related to the Matrix quote
Agent Smith: “Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world? Where none suffered, where everyone would be happy. It was a disaster. No one would accept the program. Entire crops were lost. Some believed we lacked the programming […]
Sometimes, when I answer you I ask a question of you;
If you really had a choice, how would you choose?
Or
If you had a magic wand to fix your life,
How would you wave it?
Or
If you had a switch, that you could throw, that would end your suffering without killing you, would you throw it?
Would you?
More important than discussing the possibility of such magics, is discussing your will to use them.
What good is a true solution if you won’t use it?
And is there such a switch?
Does such a choice exist?
Can you have such power over your own life?
Yes