beautiful day outside. in the 80s. but i see only darkness. can’t seem to escape my head. don’t have the energy to do anything. want to sleep, but can’t. barely have the energy to write this. trying to form coherent sentences . it is almost may. the month i had designated as my last. maybe that is why i am weepy, sad, etc etc. name the depression symptom i have it. the muscle pain and fatigue seem to be getting worse. sleep doesn’t feel refreshing. like i have been beaten up while i slept. then there is the suicidal thoughts. never far from my mind. […]
Tag:
Suicidal Thoughts
I’m a teenager, and I don’t know if I’m the only one who has noticed how “suicidal thoughts and actions” for example cutting ect. Has become for of a trend than an issue. People are uploading picture of their cuts or of failed suicide wounds practically everywhere for some sick reason the I don’t understand. Yet when someone who actually does have a issue comes forward they are cut down by these people for being ‘attention serking’ or ‘freaks’. I don’t understand this, can’t someone explain this?
I have moments when I’m sobbing on the ground, unable to think of anything besides suicide. There is something so comforting about being able to take away your own life, your own existence. I’ll lay there and cry because no one should hate themself the way I do, no one should be comforted by the thought of death. I am though, we are. That’s something no one knows about me, I’d probably be one of the last people anyone would pin the label suicidal to, I’m always smiling, laughing, and helping others. There is a reason why I haven’t followed through with my plans though, […]
So I’m 18, a senior in high school, and although most of the drama in my life revolves around my anxiety and eating disorders, family problems, or suicidal thoughts, for once I have a normal problem. Just typing those words felt fantastic. I have really strong morals, I’m honestly not sure why because it’s not something I learned from my parents, but I don’t know, I just do. I also have pretty high standards when it comes to guys, although I’ve had a few boyfriends I’ve always felt like dating in high school is pointless, it’s just setting you up for a broken heart. I […]
you keep telling me that its all my fault, that i do this all to myself… but do you really think i want to be like this? i would love to be happy… to actually smile and not want to die. But i’m not. and i dont know why. do you think i would be this unhappy if being happy was easy? stop telling me everything i do wrong. I know i fuck everything up, no need to remind me. im trying my best to be happy… but do you know how hard it is to want to die. and do you know what’s even harder […]
i’m in so much pain mentally.
can i tell you a secret? my best friend of 17 years raped and burned me with cigarettes while he was drunk. (you’re the first person i told) i have been cutting myself off and on since i was 9 because my cousin molested me until i was 12 and when i finally told them they said i was lying and i got slapped with being bipolar 2. i have one friend she is a complete ***** she doesn’t even care “it’s all about her” anyway. i am an introverted kind of person. i just turned 25 and i’m scared that […]
i’ve been sitting on the floor of my room for over an hour sobbing with my razors in front of me. i can’t take the pain anymore. i can’t take knowing how disappointing and how much of a failure i am. everything hurts and i just want it to end. i don’t want to have to stay here for anyone else but me. im so trapped and i can’t get rid of this feeling. i’m sick of pretending that i want to be alive
i feel useless to this world. im not good enough for anyone or anything. i suck at everything i do and i’ll just be a failure the rest of my life. im ugly, stupid and an annoying ***** who needs to die. i’ll never be the pretty one, i’ll never succeed. my mind is all fucked up with suicidal thoughts and im not the person who i was before. now i just wanna die and escape this pain. what reason do i have to still be here if no one loves me, the only thing i’ll do is cry myself to sleep, self-harm, and hate […]
How do you tell someone that they’re the reason? How do you explain to them that they need to stop, and think about the things they say to you before it’s too late?
I wouldn’t say I’m completely past the point of suicidal thoughts, I wish I were. But I’m definitely not past the point of looking for jobs in foreign countries and fantasizing about packing up everything and just vanishing.
Do loved ones even realize the effect they truly have on us? Do they understand anything about how our minds work?
I feel like I’ve told them a thousand times about how sad I […]
I’m 17 years old(will turn 18 this June),5″3,39 kg,underconfident,anxious,afraid,failure,looser,quitter……Ive been heavily suicidal for like five years now!!!
Mostly due to my academic stress….till highschool i scored great and was a bright minded geeky kid but for some odd reason i started to grow more and more fears and day by day the roots of those fears anchored deeply into my conscience and i ended up being a fiasco….i fail at everything….i cant reach out for even the simple mundane goals…apparently i am still bright and healthy but inside there is a neverending armageddon and mental anguish…I am dead…I’m just a breathing corpse without any genuine […]
This is the first time i write about my suicidal thoughts on the internet..I have no financial problems, so financially speaking i have a life that many would want. I’m also still young, many people tell me that i have my whole life ahead of me and that i shouldnt be pessimistic..but i have never had the life i really want. I didnt have many friends untill recently, and that was only because we share a habit which is drinking and smoking pot..i have thought about taking my life for many years now, i was even seriously planning on doing it one time but i […]
I’m going to the er for suicidal thoughts and tendencies and see what happens. Wish me luck.
Hello everyone, firstly let me say I just happened to drift onto this site in a rather accidental manner. And, upon reading some of your stories, I must say for not believing in yourselves, you are a extremely courageous and inspiring lot. I say this because you have shattered a costly visage that I, unwillingly, feel it is constantly my duty to maintain. Forgive me for being verbose, it is just I rarely speak about matters so personal in nature. Also, I shall try not to give you my life story but I feel like you deserve to know a bit more about the man […]
This is it.
Day in, day out. Staring at the four walls of the room. Depression, Anorexia, they say i have.
Suicidal thoughts.
I’m sat in a mental health hospital, Tier 4, 7-day resident. I never leave.
I’ve been here for months, and now, months later, life is still the same.
I look at something and think, can i die using that?
I self harm, i cut, i burn, i don’t stop, razors, straighteners, on my skin, i don’t feel the pain.
I have scars, all over my body, each one telling a story, each […]
Hello everyone ! I’m doing this project i call ‘Tell me your story’. I did a facebook page & a blogspot. But I need YOUR help to make this work.I want to provide a way for everyone to interact with each other. This is how it works. You tell me your story, I tell everyone else. You could be known or stay on anon. It’s all up to you. What matters is that your story will be heard. People will know that you exist. You will leave a trace that you once existed. You will help other not do the same mistakes you did or […]
You know what’s funny? I’m sitting with a group of people, and none of them have any idea that I’m on a suicide website. My counselor says that I need to find someone that I can trust, but there isn’t anyone you can trust with suicidal thoughts. It puts them in a bad position. They either do nothing and then have to blame themselves when you go through with it or they report you to someone. It’s like, I just want to tell someone without them feeling responsible for me. What they don’t get is that my suicide is not a bad thing. For everyone, […]
love the song. should change my username. had a 3 tissue session with wendy today. discussed what i meant when saying i felt like i was blocked. that my short bursts of intense emotions are maybe cracks in the “wall”. and that is why they come and go so easily. and what is on the other side of that wall? i don’t know. and the thought of finding out is terrifying. wendy says to embrace those emotions and try to see what is causing them. but the “blocking” comes so easily i don’t know how to stop it. i am scared of losing control. i […]
I am a 25 year old musician. I have never had a problem with depression until recently. I was happy, touring in a band, making money doing it. Then everything came crashing down. Now all I think about is everything that I have lost.
My best childhood friend dies unexpectedly, then my mother, then my friends turn their back on me.
I have lost all inspiration, I hate everything I do. My girlfriend who I live with are becoming more and more distant. I’m stuck 1,000 miles away from home with a shitty job, nothing to show for myself, and all I want to do is curl […]
I just came out to my Dad tonight. I did not plan that at all. Came up totally unexpected. He came to talk to me because he noticed I was depressed and struggling and eventually things led to wanting to come out to him. I was so scared. I knew it was something I needed to do though. It took me so long to get it out. He’s a super conservative Catholic…so you can see why I would be scared shitless. He took it surprisingly calmly. But I don’t feel the relief I wish I had felt. I still feel like he doesn’t fully accept […]
I hate who I am. I hate that I’m so afraid to fail that I’m not even living my life anymore. I don’t have anyone to talk to.. I’ve tried explaining it to my parents but they just get angry with me and tell me they don’t even care what I do anymore. They don’t know that I cry myself to sleep every night, pray that I don’t wake up in the morning, or that I have suicidal thoughts all the time. I wish I could just end my life but I’m too much of a coward and the last time I tried I failed […]