I survived suicide 3 times. Â I made my first attempt when I was 18. Â It seemed like a logical choice at the time. Â I felt like there was no possibility of recovering from the all consuming pressures and stresses of life. I tried to hang myself with an electrical chord. Â The chord broke, and I woke up minutes later seizing on the ground and vomiting. Â I cleaned up and with my bruised neck I knew there was no way of hiding so I let my family know. Â I was sent to a facility for a bit where they forced me to eat and take drugs. […]
Tag:
Suicidal Thoughts
I’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts for at least the past 6 years (i’m only 20 but I can’t remember a time when I didn’t feel how I feel now)
Basically I had a traumatic childhood and early adult life and i’ve tried counselling/prescription drugs and nothing has worked.
I have many failed attempts behind me my last one was a paracetamol overdose, I walked to a remote place to let the paracetamol take over and cause irreversible liver damage but turns out my remote location wasn’t remote enough and I was found by a ‘good Samaritan’ and taken to hospital :@
I have tried to stop […]
Hello there. This is my first time on this site so let me just give you some background info about me. I’m 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. When i was in Kindergarten through 5th grade i was bullied harshly. I was bullied for the way i smelled. A guy, Alec, and his friends would make fun of me EVERY SINGLE DAY. They made my life a living hell. They were also on my bus. I remember one incident where i was sitting on the bus and Alec took out his phone and took a video of me sitting there and he […]
Hi, my name is Naana, 18 years old
Caution, I may go in different directions at times, most likely due to the fact that I have no idea how to put into format my thoughts correctly. This is my first time ever telling anyone properly, also my first time on here.
I’m stuck between two, whether to live or to choose my death. It all scares me and I question why me? I won’t say I’m not doing this for attention, because deep down I want to know at least someone knew I existed and cared; Knowingly I know I existed for my family, but I can’t […]
Sometimes I like to think that things can’t get worse, but then they always do. College is a miserable experience… I have no friends that can hold me together. My family is unsupportive of me ever since I decided not to be religious. I’m not even sure whether or not I’m going to be fired from my job. My car is now not running for the second time this month. And worst of all, my fiancé left me 5 months ago. I was sure this was the lowest point I could get to. And then tonight, the only friend that I had left to really […]
I’m two faced, one good one bad. I hate it. I was suicidal, a smoker and an alcoholic for some time. Im only 13. I was in a hospital a few weeks ago for suicidal thoughts & attempts. I still hate myself, but I realize that if I commit suicide, I won’t ever rest. There, I met amazing people with problems. They made me stop hating myself by a little, and spending time around them helped give me a new insight to life.
My mom & I have never been on good terms, & when we finally were, I thought that now i could kill myself […]
Mitch Lucker’s death really hit me hard. I cried over his death like I should have a family members’. Â A lot of people say how can a band change your life, before one did…I thought the same. But when a band or maybe just a single song changes your life…you just know. Suicide Silence and Mitch Lucker in general are one of the bands that made me who I am. Changed my life really.
RIP Mitch we will miss you. You changed my life and so many others, thank you <3
The love of my life lives in Kansas….I live in North Carolina. We have been off and on for almost a year now. We got back together about 2 months ago then he broke up with me. I fell back into cutting and pills. He swore he didn’t like anyone else, it was just the distance. He asked out my best friend 2 days after he told me that. I want to fucking hate him so much….but I can’t. He doesn’t know I know. I promised him I wouldn’t cut or get high…..yet my arm is filled with new scars and my pill bottles are […]
everythings supposed to be perfect. i have the most amazing boyfriend ever but… i still want to cut and puke. i cant eat normal even though he begs me to. im still depressed. i still want to die. i still feel fucking empty like i dont exist…. WHY? this was supposed to fix everything having my best friend in the whole universe as my boyfriend but somethings wrong. i just wanna starve, cut and die but he wont let me.
i dont know how much longer i can last
I just had a complete meltdown. I had been thinking about suicide for the longest time. I felt like a failure, like my life wasn’t worth it. So I took some codeine pills. It made me feel like I was dead for a while. And then I just threw it all up. I fail at everything. I can’t even kill myself. Life just isn’t worth living for me. I feel so alone.
It looks like I survived the most powerful suicidal thoughts attack in my life that I had for the last week and a half. I’m not sure if that’s good. I’m just too weak, to do it I had to delete all the pictures of the girl I love from my computer, delete all traces of her so nobody would bother her after I’m gone. I couldn’t do it, I just can’t. I can’t let her go.
I’m back to escaping from everything into my head, fantasy worlds. I don’t really want it anymore because the thought that one day I will wake up and instead […]
I, like many other people, am a “lucky” person.
I have a great family, everything I could want and more, many friends who are supportive of me, and a good life in general.
Yet, all the while, I feel this emptiness inside me where emotions should be. Whenever I feel “happy”, it’s more close to feeling something close to happiness, almost like its shadow. If emotions were people, they would come knocking on the door of my heart, then before I can open the door and let it in, it leaves, making me feel something ALMOST like emotions.
Am I becoming heartless? Unable to feel any […]
I’ve decided to put off my suicide plans for now for two reasons, the first because of a boy I like which I guess is silly,the second is my mom found my notes and that threw off any upcoming plans.
Living with depression is very hard for me, I’ve tried to understand it but you just can’t it’s unpredictable, sometimes I’m randomly crying and and sometimes I’m crying because work feels over whelming and then there’s the days I spend most of my time sleeping or surfing the internet , and any kind of relationship I had with people is ruined because  I tend to isolate […]
I used to self-harm..
It wasn’t serious.. It only used to be scars.. Only once it bled, and when it did, it didn’t bleed that much.
I started this year.. At the beginning of this year.. When I was 12. Now, I’m 13.
I don’t know what got to me but I broke.. I was depressed and no one knew about it.. My past was No one was there. I did have friends, but none of them knew about what I did to myself. I was never a talker. So none of them really knew.. Which was good. No one would really know me.. I tried to spill […]
Look at these definitions of depression on slango  so true but they dont say how to get out. We already know this stuff. Why doesnt it say how to get out? Or why we have depression?
‣ A state of altered perception where one sees the world as bleak and dark.  Feelings and actions such as purposelessness, disinterest, low self esteem, [self-harm], pessimism, suicidal thoughts or tendencies and a lack of motivation or energy may accompany it. It is not simply the feeling of being sad, but is a lasting state of mind that could be caused by a number of factors. Many health problems lead […]
am i falling apart? i swear it feels like it. my sexuality confuses me, my relationship is going down the toilet and so is life, im struggling in school and no one seems to care. ive thought about suicide for the last 3 days. ive writtern my note saying goodbye and now im just sitting here waiting. waiting for something to push me over the edge and kill me. i feel like im having a never ending break down. i cry everyday for more then 6 hours, i havent eaten for over 3 days, i have had 10 hours sleep in the last week. i […]
My life has infact, gotten no better. The exercise isn’t looking like anything has changed, I still hate my body. My friends are somewhat ignoring my issues because they make them uncomfortable. Because they never have anything to say to me, so they just smile sympathetically and soon enough it’s forgotten.
What I’ve discovered is that my father has been diagnosed with Bi-Polar, and this explains why he’s such a dick when only moments ago he would have been being lovely. But now, he wants to lean onto me. Because I’m his daughter, and the only thing he has left, I feel obligated to look after him, even though I’m […]
A couple of days ago I heard about Amanda Todd. It reminded me when I used to consider suicide because of being constantly bullied. Bullied by my “friends”, bullied my my classmates, by my ex-boyfriend (who blackmailed me for 2 years, saying he would tell everyone in my family what I was, what I had done and said). Then I remembered when the bully got physical. Been called names, been thrown things, been punched. No one cared back then. They would see me crying, but ‘oh, it’s ok, he’s just a teenager’. Anyway, somehow I made it through middle and high school.
Today I’m in college. […]
Ok, Let me first tell you, what prompted me to look up this website today, and vent out my frustration . I’ve been having suicidal thoughts for the past 3 years.
Having been a remarkable student all my life, something happened 3 years ago, that all of a sudden, you can even say, overnight, turned me into a loser! Its not a specific incident or anything, but I’d even move over to the occult and say I’ve been struck by bad luck. My performance academically started dripping, my concentration levels started dwindling, nothing that I wanted, even with all my sincerity and hard work, I got. […]
I’ve completely ruined my life. Â But I don’t think I ever had one.
Things started spiriling out of control earlier this summer when I quit my job. I’ve been doing contract software development at home for years. It’s a life of sad isolation. I sit in my den and type away for days straight. The job was just going bad, I was losing interest and my boss new it. He pushed me and I snapped. It was sad, because when it started it seemed like there would be so much potential.
Anyway, something happened afterwards that made me realize I didn’t want to be a programmer anymore. […]