So I’ve never actually thought Fuck it Im going to reach out and talk about this because its just not a normal thing to do…then again nothing ever feels normal in my world and when I do express normal behaviour I feel its so put on and faked to everyone around me that they can see right through me and thus treat me different from each other. For years I’ve always kind of known I had serious pshycological issues and suicidal thoughts caused by a horrible upbringing and attempted to take my own life before I went to university. I failed….didn’t know how to o/d […]
Many of us have been told, “Your problems aren’t that bad. They don’t add up to suicide,†or, “If you only took 15 pills, you weren’t really serious.â€
We have a condition that causes others to feel uncomfortable. They reduce their discomfort by using denial, belittlement and minimization on the seriousness of our situation. While most of this denial is due to their fear concerning the possibility of our death, a part of it has another source. They may also have had or be afraid of having bad periods in their own lives, and their denial on our vulnerability to […]
Hi just broke up with bf…we were toether for three years
i don’t know what to do now…i feel like back to him but he will treat me sh** again…
he was the only one who knew about my major depression..and also that i don’t take medications yet due to some personal reason…but he always blamed me..this time he said that he don’t feel the love no more..because i am moody all the time..and i said i am sorry but his reply was “i don’t care”
so did i do right by breaking up with him? its no doubt that i still love him like there is no […]
Things were starting to look up, but it’s all coming crashing down. I was getting stronger, not having the violent and/or scary thoughts anymore, my grades were getting better, and I was just starting to go back to my old self. Today I realized that I’m apparently not ok. A girl working in my group on a project we presented today shoved my copy in my face snobbily sarcastically thanking me for my help. I tried to help write it in class, but she took it home and never contacted the rest of us like she was supposed to, so she ended up doing it […]
I always think back to when I tried to kill myself last year, OD-ing, and now I really wish I did it. Here’s some reasons why.
1. My family would finally wake up and face reality that everything is NOT “alright”
2. I would be in a better place than alive and my friends wouldn’t care
3. I wouldn’t always have my suicidal thoughts or this “illness”
4. People would actually think about me
5. At least one person would remember me
After thinking about that, I think of other reasons to why I’m alive.
1. My family sometimes cares enough about me to actually remember me from time to time.
2. Â I […]
I remember I was the sweetest girl you would ever meet but that all changed when people started bullying me.I got bullied every single day.By everyone and by my family.My mom would always yell at me and my brother would beat me.My other brother would want nothing to do with me.My dad you ask?Lets see he had left me and my mom when I was 5 years old.People would call me fat,ugly,pathetic,Ect.Basiclly all the names in the book.I didnt understand what I did at the time.I would believe everything they said I had so much pressure on me and I still do.That pressure […]
I always wonder, what would life be like if i was more….appealing, attractive, pretty…you know? i wonder if my life would be different, and if i would have all these suicidal thoughts. Personally i think everything would be better. The reason i get treated like shit now is because the way i look. I think if i was pretty, more people would respect me and treat me better. The other day i realized how much i hate myself. i realized that maybe im ugly, because i have ugly thoughts. or maybe because i just do horrible things. Im just an horrible person. Im so selfish […]
I’ve been reading articles from this website for a few weeks now and thought i should right something for people to read. I found out about this site when i was researching ways i could kill myself and found an article about exit bags. I suffer from major depression and i don’t wish to live any longer at least in my current situation. Its not that i always feel sad most of time i don’t feel much almost like i’m not here kinda of a lifeless feeling. I’m never really happy and I don’t see the point of living. I kept myself going by thinking when i’m 18 i can move somewhere else where i can be […]
I don’t know what to do guys, everytime i get upset i get suicidal thoughts. I know I have depression but accepting it and trying to treat it isn’t helping me. The thought of anti depressants make me more upset. I hate that I can go around and see so many people normal and then there’s me. Half the people around me are clueless of what I have and sometimes I wish they know so maybe they could talk me out of the thoughts I have. But as if i’d go up to someone and ask for help? I just can’t. I’ve tried telling people […]
2 years ago I joine the marine corps. That wast dream to become a marine. I wanted to be the hero. When I went into the 13 weeks of misery known as boot camp I loved it. I enjoyed it. I met my closest friends there they knew everything about me and I knew everything about them . They were my best friends, my brothers. After basic I went to marine combat training MCT for short and there i was beginning to have suicidal thoughts. It hit me. I was I here ? What was I doing? Nobody was there no one. I felt alone. […]
People have told me, “Don’t do it, Emma” and “You can talk to me about anything”. But I can’t. I know I’m not alone in this but it always feels like I am. I’ve had people call the Suicide Hotlines on me and I’ve helped other people get through their own depressions but I can never seem to shake the pain, loneliness, jealousy, or depression. I have problems I know I need to fix but I just can’t.
Im 14. My name is Emma and I live in Colorado. When I was three, my mom and dad divorced after my mom knowingly broke my younger brother’s […]
I had my first suicidal thoughts last December… Triggering factor? Have no idea. At first it was just ideas like «i think it would be much better if i was going far far away». After, reflections on life, death, suffering… images of death… images of my death in dreams… and… after… images of my death when im awake, when i watch a movie, when i laugh to a good joke with friends… i see myself everywhere dying… for over a month now…. I see myself hanging by a rope in the corner of my office… or injecting myself a high dose of morphin, which i […]
Hello,
I’m suicidal, I have an active plan and the means to carry it out. Â I really am just tired of life. Â I’m married and am concerned about the impact my suicide will have on my wife. Â I am all she has. Â Her family has basically disowned her because they don’t like me. Â I guess if I’m out of the picture, she could go back to them. Â I have paranoid schizopherina and major depression. Â I’m medicated, but its like the medication isn’t working. Â I try talking to my wife about my suicidal thoughts, but then she starts talking about putting me in a hospital. Â I’ve attempted […]
Sometimes I love so truly and deeply that I forget about myself.Â
The person I am with becomes everything to me. I put them first in everything I do. However, I never have this love returned to me. So I question whether it is right for me to love this way. The price I pay for this love is myself. In return what I get is pain. So is it right to love this way? May be not.Â
The reason why I love this way is because if I don’t wake up tomorrow, then I will know that I have done everything that was within my power […]
I sit here hating myself for being myself. I try everyday to live to be happy, but nothing ever works. The realization of the fact that the one person you love so much will never love you back torments me and leaves me unable to move. I pray for the torment to end.
He says I don’t try enough and he gets mad at me. But I know not what to do. I do what anyone deeply in love does when they are hurt by the one they love…I cry. I cry a river that turns into an ocean. My bloody tears mean nothing anymore because […]
Im young. Im young, so young and I know I have so much to live for.Â
But I have a destroyed childhood, and family that has lied to me since I could process things through my mind. A mother who cares about herself more than her daughters, who is willing to let her children be molested; verbally and physically beaten. A father who has continuously filled his daughters with hate by verbally, physically and mentally abusing them alongside with their mother. My mother will soon be filled with severe Alzheimer’s and she won’t have me or my sister to help her. Which is just another burden […]
i cut. not too much. i wasnt gonna do as much as i did. but its not too much i dont think. it doesnt seem so bad to me really. well ill just post a few pctures of it. so yeah thats it. i find them to be beautiful. please dont judge me.
i just have to. i cant not do it any longer. im going to cut. once again. the last time i cut was in early october. that was a really long time ago. at least it seems to me like it has been forever. every night i think about it. and i am CRAVING to do it. last night before i was going to sleep i was going to do it. but it was too close to the time my brother and mom wake up and i cant risk getting caught. my mom already wants me to do some psychiatric thing. i dont want to […]
i feel so depressed. especially because im at home. i dont have the one person i wish was with me. i saw her today(my best friend that is). my parents wanted me to go to the store with them, but this morning i told my mom i dont wanna go anywhere. and when they left i went right to her house. but i feel sooo bad for what did. i enable her. soo much. and i hate it. she is an addict. even though its hard for me to say that and it breaks my heart to know that. its true though. and i am […]
I don’t understand how people can say suicide is selfish. In my case, it wouldn’t be. It’s not about “escaping” my problems. Nope…if I wanted to drown my sorrows I could easily turn to drinking or cutting myself or eating disorders or ….something, anything. I wouldn’t kill myself.
I’m an extremely logical person. The only reason I would end my life is because it’s not practical for me to be alive. Seriously, what’s the point of being alive? I have nothing to contribute to this world full of happiness and beauty and hope. My parents wasted fifteen years of time on me, spending money that could have […]