I dont know what to do anymore. I feel as if walls are caving in on me. People hate me. And you know what? I hate me too. People that are around me think I have the perfect life. Im a cheerleader. I make good grades. I make everyone happy. Nothing can be wrong with me! But there is something wrong with me. I feel as if everyone around me hates me. Im not mad at them for that. I dont know what to do anymore. Im just done.
I’ve never really seen the point of self harm, but a few days ago, I started biting my hand to take my mind off things. I could concentrate on the pain instead of worrying. It just occurred to me today that what I was doing was self harm. I never bite hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to leave a red mark by the end of the day, and I can’t seem to stop. I know I should stop, but I don’t know how. I don’t want to be a burden on my friend anymore. He helped me when I was recovering from […]
I have finally realized that pain and suffering are human emotions along with hate envy greed lust depression lots of fealings that can drag a person down and everyone searches for love and happyness but in the corrupt world we live in that’s all it is a search dose anyone find the real thing anymore in life the thing for me is what is love my mom told me she loved me once but her actions were to loud to here what she said she gave me to the state and abandoned me with nothing is that love now I’m older I’ve tried to move […]
Just to give you a background on who I am, I am 21 years old, female and a college student. Â I am not expecting to find answers here. Â I just really want to be able to express my feelings to people who might understand.
Anyway, I’m not really sure how depressed I really am, but I suppose I’m depressed enough to want to hurt or kill myself. Â I had a suicide attempt a few years ago. Â (Somewhat long story that I don’t really want to elaborate on right now.) Â So I kinda know when I might be tipping over the edge. Â I’m not at that point […]
So I went for my weekly visit to speak to my psychiatrist, and did he ever have the greatest advice ever….
“What’s the rush in dying, we all die anyways”
Thoughts? Anyone and everyone who has ever been told that or felt like this, please respond.
My mind is still trying to wrap itself from figuring out what I am supposed to do with that oh so helpful quote.
I’m not sure what I really expect anymore.
A couple months back, September to be specific, I found myself in a hole. You know it, the black abyss that you stare at day in and day out. The one that never seems to end. I had been looking into, getting lost in the darkness for too long. Years have past since I can actually remember being happy for a full 24hrs. It seems so surreal to even imagine I used to have fun.
Anyways, I tried to take my life. I really tried… pills, alcohol, the whole deal. Fortunately or unfortunately ( I haven’t decided […]
I have both antifreeze and OxyContin that I am able to use. Will the two together work? And if so will it be quick?  Any knowledge is greatly appreciated  Thanks.
I suppose this is one of my main reasons as to why I want to kill myself. About seven years ago I came to the realization that everything that I perceive as real could just be a creation of my mind, with no way of proving or disproving it. Because of this, I haven’t had any will to live in nearly a decade. I am convinced that this will sooner or later be the death of me, after all, it eliminates any guilt about committing suicide, as well as any fear of death or dying. This way of thinking has affected me so drastically that […]
 I know my mother doesn’t have any interest in me at all. I can leave the house for hours without telling her and she doesn’t even notice. It’s lonely here. Everyone wants their mother to love them the way a conventional mother does. For some reason unknown to me she won’t. So I assume it’s because she doesn’t like my face, the way I talk or anything negative I can find in my me. I’m starting to believe maybe I don’t deserve to be loved by […]
I’m just completely lost. I don’t know if I should end it already. I’ve been put through so much bullshit that I’m completely fed up. I was molested by my dad’s friend which my dad doesn’t know about because I was young and scared that he’d do something to my family cause he claimed he will if I ever told. I still haven’t said anything and it’s been years. I’ve also be bullied by everyone. Even my own family. I’ve always been really into sports and I’m a girl so my parents, sisters, and brother would always call me a boy because of it. Also, […]
I have spent a long time reading through this site. But never posted.
For the last 3 years now is struggled with depression, caused by job stress, relationship etc. Over the last two month I hit a patch where my job and my boss brought me right down. I’d entertained the idea of suicide, but could never go any further than that because of my partner, whom I love very much.
So for two months I’ve fought back, getting back to a healthy state, then on saturday night, after a good day in the sun, drinking and enjoying my time with my partner and friends, I go […]
I swear to god, I can’t deal with my sister and her stupid friend. All my sister does is criticize me and her friend constantly puts me down and insults me. Honestly, I’m about done with it. I can’t put on a fake smile and pretend everything’s okay anymore or I’ll go insane. I’m thinking of these four different things to do…
1. I could politely ask them to stop
2. I could tell them to stop more assertively
3. I could punch them both in the face
4. I could not say anything and start crying like a baby
God knows I am way to much of a coward […]
My foster mother keep bribing me to tell her what’s wrong. But for some reason, I keep refusing. She kicked my leg and said, “Come on dear, please tell me!” I just got up and walked into my room, having a good hard cry. I never hurt so bad since I’ve been in foster care for a month and a half. Just fuck it all. Fuck life. I’m fucking over it. Kill me now. I’m done.
And to make matters worse, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me, so I broke up with him. Now I’m alone because I had nobody else to talk […]
This is a poem i wrote about a child becoming an orphan and it causing them to be depressed and consider suicide. This stuff might seem out of order to some people but this stuff does happen and suicidal thoughts can occur to anyone, any age for any reason. Life can seriously suck sometimes.
Lonely am i,
I can’t bear their cries,
Of laughter and happiness,
While i have tears in my eyes.
I want to shut the world out,
Be locked inside,
 From the joyous surroundings,
Because recently my parents died.
My girlfriend broke up with me about 2 and a bit months ago and I’m really struggling to carry on living. Our 3 year anniversary was December 11th and she left in October, I had just spent a months wage on taking her out for her birthday to a nice hotel etc and then when I saw her 3 days later she spoke about breaking up. The week she broke up with me I was made redundant at work, it was the anniversary of the death of someone who was like my big brother, it was a week or two before my own birthday and […]
I’m alone with my thoughts again and I have no where to go even in a crowded room or next to my boyfriend I feel so distant and unlove even when I’m told I’m beautiful I feel so ugly even if someone sincerely says they care about me I turn around and say I’m unlove and unwanted. I’ve always hated being this way, but I don’t know how to change. The only thing I want to do right now is cut all ties and end my life, but I know its not right to think or even say. I’m just so tired, confused, and depressed […]
Most people who have never had depression think depression is no more than just sadness. However, depression is much, much more. It is a never ending link of sadness. It doesn’t go away for a long time. Sometimes it doesn’t go away at all. There is almost no happiness when your are depressed or suicidal. For example, imagine when you are extremely sad. Now imagine that that extreme sadness never, ever goes away, at least not for a very long time. That is what it is like when you have depression.
Like I remember one time, I was at a thanksgiving party (This was last year in […]
I was at school. I just recently found out that a mean girl from last year said that I had head lice and I should just go kill myself. Of course, I just laughed my ass off since that mean girl wasn’t good looking herself and tried to do that because she thought of herself as ugly. For the first three weeks of hearing that I was fine… until something happened…
My sister, who is in the same school and grade as me, became friends with that mean girl’s sidekick. Every time I passed my sister’s new friend, they would both just roll their eyes. I […]
I do not even care anymore. I is not carin about grammar right now. I remember I was at school about a month ago wen my sis and her friend came up to me and said rude things about me and my boy friend. I was sad. I ran home and cryed. my boyfriend was sad too. he tried to comfort me but he don’t know how much I hurt on the inside. of course I aint got no guts for suicide but it still hurts. I am in pain. there Is not light when yu have depression. and don’t you get sick of people […]
I have like to have to die this world is to hash for to handle. When I think of way to die or kill myself, I laugh as if all my pain is freed from my soul. I ask anyone out there is this good?