I have a lot of things. I have a lot more than many people.  I am healthy, attractive, happily married, and just about to graduate from a great grad-school. I have everything to live for, but I every time when I turn around the corner, I see death calling me. I really cannot think about anything that I want bad enough to live for. Tonight I relapsed. I took a needle and pieced through my skin and my veins. For a brief moment I felt something. When I saw my blood oozing out of my arm, I felt maybe a brief moment of something.  I know exactly what […]
Tag:
Suicide
I am 30 now. I was thinking a lot about suicide since I was a teenager, but i never tried it, all I did was cutting myself.
I always thought this sadness and lonelyness inside me would go away, but it just didn’t.
When i was 21 i was in therapy for a while and I stopped cutting myself after that, moved abroad and started school. But the sadness always stayed with me.
I graduated from school, I am an artist and in school i was really good, but now it’s of course very difficult. That’s probably how it is for everybody, but i don’t have the strength […]
So, the synergistic forces are closing in on me. I am not in a panic to end my life; in fact, I am worried that I will be somewhat excited when I do.
I have body dysmorphic disorder; people say my body is fine but I do not believe them. And then there is my career, which did not pan-out as I would have wanted. And then there are the bills I cannot pay.
So, yes, I am clinically depressed. I have a few methods I will try when I finally do try.
I just worry. That whole “accept Jesus” thing. It is upsetting to me, ultimatums, you […]
hey all suicidal angels.. im calista.. well, im suicidal..it’s been awhile..ive tried it so many times but here I am, typing this up. How I wish im dead by now..i just dont wanna live but in some point,i feel i dont wanna commit suicide and pray to God that someone might stab me up or something..It can be anything,i just dont wanna live.
Since I was 5, my life really intense. Parents always want the best out of me, so I gave them all. I do so many things in life, Im always the best student in school and in college, i cook, i bake, i […]
I’ve read a couple of posts and I think its great that people have a chance to express themselves and get others to help. I’ve tried to fill myself 4 or 5 times now and I havent been able to do it. I know that most people have issues and that they find it difficult to talk to someone or maybe feel that there is no way out.
I never believed in suicide and I always thought that anyone that tired to kill themselves was selfish and that they didn’t think of the people around them that could help. At the very worst I thought you […]
It saddens me to see these young kids considering suicide as an option. You have a long time left to live and you’ve got rampant hormones. You need to ride it out and see what the future provides.
Sadly I have seen what the future provided and now that I’m 45, I’m not sure I want to continue. I’m going on my second divorce. I haven’t had a sex life in 20 years. I spent 10 of those years looking for the right woman and 10 of them married to the wrong woman. The prime of my life has passed me by and I got robbed.
The […]
I’ve never been the type to ask for help. I am a very independent person, who likes to do everything on my own.
I cry out for help in my own way. But no one is lisenting. My brother usualy hears the crys but he’s been working a lot lately. My mom just seems to ignore them. She just seems to care more about her friends then her own daughter.
I know she can’t be stupid. I’m falling back into my same ruotine. I never eat. And when I do I get sick right after. I sleep A LOT. I don’t only sleep cuz I’m coming down […]
I’ve been this way for years now. Antisocial. Never the popular guy. Kind of a hermit, I keep to myself. I’ve dealt with depression and feelings of suicide before, but they eventually went away. In the last year though, I’ve really gone back downhill. I’m living alone and I lost by job back in December. That kind of deflated me. For the last year, I’ve been employed for maybe five or six months and for the rest of the time I’ve been jobless. Nothing inspires me. Any job I ever work is thankless and uninspiring and I find myself depressed even when I DO have […]
I truly understand how you feel life is meaningless. I have felt that way for months and it is very painful. SOme days I think its the day to get it over with, because the pain and hopelessness is just unbearable. This life just feels like a dirty little trick played on us by biology, or cosmology, or whatever. The strange thing is, I think that even though we are suicidal )some of us severely so) I don’t think we really WANT to die. I think we just want answers. THough it seems those answers aren’t reachable (outside ourselves) maybe they aren’t even as important […]
I thought furiously about how I was going to let my parents know, would an email be so bad. If I sent an email they would know straight away, but would they have the computer on, would they even check their emails. I know I didn’t, in-fact it was very rare I checked mine, I would normally have at least 100 emails to make my way through as I left it so long before looking. It does seem a little impersonal, but how else would I let them know. I put the thought to one side as my thoughts redirected themselves to the […]
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