Another night. I’m by myself in my room and my mind is racing, a million different thoughts going through my head. My boyfriend won’t answer don’t have many friends it’s just me myself and not I but my thoughts. They haunt me at 1 in the morning they are the reason I can’t sleep. I’m scared of being cheated on being left. Sometimes I’m just so scared. But then when I’m by myself I just feel empty. Like there is no one there in the end. My thoughts are my enemy. I hate being alone. I just want someone who is there when I need […]
Tag:
Suicide
Ever since 6th grade life has been hell for me. I got made fun of because i was in IEP (special ed classes) and it made me feel there was something wrong with me. My 1st attempt at suicide was in 8th grade via hanging, but it failed. Since then i’ve been having nervous breakdowns and basically feeling like shit.
9th grade was my 2nd suicide attempt. I tried killing myself. I know this is going to sound silly and pathetic but i had failed to impress to girls i liked, and the ass holes in my math class didn’t help by pointing out how much […]
This feels weird, I don’t usually talk about this. I don’t want to die anymore, at least not all the time like i did before, but i don’t want to live either. I was in a really dark place about 6 years ago when I was close to ending my life, the only thing that kept me from actually doing it was fear of spending eternity in hell. I got help, it got better for a while I thought that part of my life was over, just a phase, but it wasn’t I still have some of those feelings left over, and it’s hard.
My parents […]
This is my first post on any suicide blog. I’ve tried to talk to people before but they don’t seem to understand and I’m looking for someone who does. I’m a 12 year old girl. My age is another reason why people don’t listen they think I’m to little to be going through this kind of stuff but it can happen at any age. I wanted to share my story to people who might actually listen. It all started when my mom told me about my friend who cutted I didn’t know what cutting really was but I found out. My first cut was small. […]
i need help doing this.. i cant kill myself on my own no matter how much i want to. the pain is just too much. i always think about who id be leaving behind. but wouldn’t they just be better off without me?? I’ve fucked up too much for anyone to have to deal with me. i can’t even fucking deal with myself anymore. i need a fucking escape but i don’t know how to do it… someone help me PLEASE!!
how the fuck do i even try to continue.. someone help me just end this.. i ***** out on cutting myself
So, hi all, I’m new here. That sentence in itself sounds whack enough to qualify me to be here, eh? I was reading the Read This First – Actively Suicidal subsection & noted how well it applied to me. I feel that my coping resources are next to nil. Never had good ones, but with so many stresses going on I can’t even seem to get the ones I have to work. I feel like I’m drowning in stress…ready to snap.
Fibromyalgia, OCD, Binge Eating Disorder, chronic depression, plus all the regular stressors of life…just can’t seem to cope. Trying…struggling to keep lips above the water […]
I’ve been at my real dads since June 24 and I’m leaving August 3.
My mom has been verbally and mentally abusive for all of my life. She threatens to physically abuse me all the time. She led me to believe that my dad never cared about me and that he cheated on her with my stepmom.
That wasn’t the case nor did my dad ever do that. It’s got worse recently which is why I’m up here with my dad. I would call my stepmom everyday crying. My dad found out what she recently has done ( she was making others and friends believe I’m psychotic […]
Today is my mum’s birthday and I feel so let out of everything.
I mean, I know she doesn’t like me that much but is it really necessary to completely ignore me?
I just want something. Something to show me that I’m still here, because sometimes I’m so alone, i forget other people exist.
Just random, everyday thoughts.
-V
May be triggering, but need help
so I am 14 going on 15 and i was adopted when I was 2 from ukraine (I was born premature, and then was dumped on the street by my mom when I was a month old) I was brought to the states and then my mom and dad started to abuse me. Physically at first and then when I was 5 my dad started sexually abusing me and my brother started when I was 8. This is continuing to this day. For about the past 3 years I have been suffering from ptsd and has had multiple suicide […]
I think about killing myself every single day, and I don’t think it’s gonna go away. I think about where I would do it, how I would do it, and who is even worth leaving my last few words for. I just don’t think I’ll make it passed high school anymore, I will be dead by then. And the thing is, I’m okay with that.
If my friends and family woke up one day and found out that I killed myself. Would they care? I don’t feel like they would honestly.
I used to think that the tears would never stop, the urges would never cease, and the thoughts of suicide would only grow stronger. I am here, two years suicide-thought free to tell each and everyone of you, this too shall pass. It takes time, so much time. I was lucky to be able to say “I need help” and I got it.
I never looked in the mirror and thought of something that I liked about myself. Never. I began thinking that this was how I would always feel. Never pretty, or skinny, or good enough. I was feeling this way and just assumed it was […]
I guess I was never meant to be born and live. My mom was an addict and she had this brief fling with my dad, they weren’t in love, she didn’t have a job and she was an addict. I wish she would have aborted me. But she didn’t. I was born at 7 months, probably due to her injecting God only knows what.
ALL my life I was MISERABLE, my childhood wasn’t that bad but as soon as I went to middle school people started bullying me, telling me I was ugly, that I looked like an ape, that I was hideous. And I was […]
I just can’t take it anymore. I am so fucking fat.I weigh 250 and I have no one who cares or sticks around.. All of the people who I trusted and needed Left. Go figure. I JUST WANT TO DIE. But the thing is is that I can’t seem to do anything about it. I can’t seem to pull the trigger. I want to cut, just slit my wrists and watch myself bleed to death..
I think today I have decided to just end it. I’m not going through court. I think my baby would be better off without me. I hope and pray that his daddy will take good care of him. I’m so worried about that. He’s not very patient and cares more about himself…but I can’t handle fighting anymore. My baby is my world and I can’t stand sitting back watching this happen. Please god take care of my baby. Please. In less than 2 weeks I’m planning on being out of this world. I have failed. I’m too weak. Mommy loves you so much baby boy.
My suffering has been never ending for over twelve years. I am 18 years old and about to finish high school. I don’t know if I will reach that finish line, as I am stumbling hard. I won’t go into my whole backstory, but I will mention some of it.
I’ve suffered extreme bullying for my whole school life. When I finally got into high school, I thought it would change…I thought it would be different. How wrong I was.
The bullying started up again very quickly, but none of the teachers ever gave a shit. Recently, that bullying has turned into sexual harassment, and nothing is […]
Here is a media story that scapegoats suicide.
https://youtu.be/8Kbv0BeZZSw
I’m emotionally troubled, wonder why, not just an apparition of “Satan”- my call at what I saw, even SPOOKED me at a young age and disturbed family and got a psychiatrist to boot that went as far as my moneyless parent could go for the first born who also needed teeth straightened making mom and pop so proud. It is, all of it, being a greasy metabolizing lost soul on a round ball ABUSIVE, literally.
I ask, why do we have to be screamed at by the media, programmed, policed and end up suffering, all the while others find […]
Talk to someone about something relevant, and most people will respond like they are not interested.
People that prioritize their fantasies at the expense of the reality of things are, sadly, the byproduct of a lack of education, cultural indoctrination, or more drastically, some genetic outcomes, being a victim of violence, extreme poverty, sickness, addictions, to name a few…
Now try to fix or to solve a universal, a global, a regional or a local problem, because that idea you got is closer to an optimal state, clearly realistic, and/or overall less or not problematic at all. You will be stopped, discouraged, even […]
Hello:)
This will be a rather quick synopsis of my suicidal attempts and what led up to them and how I managed past them but the story should come across anyways.
First Attempt:
I was about 14 at this time, and had started cutting. it wasn’t “severe” as it was mostly little scratches. I would only “cut” when I was super overwhelmed with my situation, or emotions. I had been seeing a guy for about a year, and was infatuated with him. One day, he decided to tell me that he had been cheating on me with his ex, but that I shouldn’t be worried because he can […]
Sometimes I wonder if there really is an alternate universe, or another life, or a life in a life. And whatever might happen when you’re dead and your feet are no longer touching the ground.
What do you feel after you die? What do you see? Is everything pitch black, you with no thoughts whatsoever, you literally just gone? Are you really going to be up there, with a God who just so promised to have plans for you? Plans for your life? Or is there another life, where, once you’re dead, you live again. Live another life. Reborn. Forget your past life and just move forward. Start new.
Sometimes […]