I used to feed these cats across the street. I got them spayed and neutered. I fed them for 10 years and the man took the key away. Now the cats are starving. They are known as feral. They do not know how to hunt. I am sad for them trying to help them. I will someway. I am sad and scared. I am scared all the time. Im not sure why I am so scared all the time. Maybe it is my father who used to hit me all the time when I […]
Tag:
Suicide
I wished to die. Many times. Sometimes I would like awake at night, wishing that I would never wake up. I hate my job. My job hates me, My mom blames me for everything. My brother calls me stupid and overreacting. I can’t open up to anyone because they’ll think I am being overly dramatic. It hurts. And outside, I pretend to be cheerful and caring because I know that that’s how people get to like you, It hurt before when my friends all left me when I became “emo.” I learned that you shouldn’t let friends know what you really feel. Well, honestly, I […]
Recently I have done a project on suicide. Some of the things that I have discovered are truly sad, and disturbing. It makes me really sad to think that someone would end there life over bullying, a lost loved one, and just because they are plain depressed. Your life is so much more worth to live and you don’t even understand. To the people around you, your life makes them feel like living. Your life is something precious to hold on to. Being bullied because your gay, bi, they say your “uglyâ€, or too “fat†please don’t believe them. Even though it’s extremely hard at […]
I don’t know how to make decisions. Even small decisions baffle me so how am I supposed to make decisions regarding suicide (do I really do it? how? when?). How do you make crucial decisions when you cannot foresee the future? Let’s say my future is going to be three more years. I have a wasting condition so those will certainly be suffering years. However, I could commit to grit my teeth and bear it because I know my suffering will be done in three years. That will save my family from the pain of losing me by suicide. That way I won’t have to […]
I saw my therapist today yipfuckingyee… she doesnt understand anything, its so hot and i feel as if everyone is screaming at me, even the little sounds sound like freak explosions, i dont feel suicidal just more attached to pain and mutilation, why do i still plot my inevitable suicide anyways? Ive just become obsessed with the idea of suicide as of late. Nothing can change my mind, besides getting expelled from school, having shit grades, and seeing/ trusting no one, everything seems gross. Masturbation is possibly the only relief i get from this gross thought process. I wish someone would kill me now because […]
Since I was seventeen I have suffered from an anxiety disorder so that’s four years now. It gets better then it gets worse. The constant up and down exhausts me so much. I have tried all types of treatments and I consider myself quite a worldly and wise person for my age. I have tried much self therapy and my own things to help with recovery but I have only gotten so far and fallen back in the hole that is my disorder. I have contemplated suicide numerous times but have never actually attempted it. I’m sick of it and I’m just tired so tired. […]
Going on here, I know I would never be able to commit suicide. I’m too much of a wimp to do it, and would only be able to do so purely on impulse depending on my mood and surroundings. But I still have suicidal thoughts. I don’t know why I’m here or what my purpose is for being here. I don’t belong anywhere. Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt like an outcast. I’ve never had a clique of friends I truly belonged to, and if there was, I wasn’t important enough to be invited to hang out, I was more the person they […]
To whomever reads this
I see a therapist to deal with my anxiety disorder that is heavily plagued with panic attacks and I am often ‘scared’ into a state of immobility where I cannot think move or breathe for short periods of time.
Anyway, we were discussing characteristics of what a person with anxiety exhibits and whether there are any common links. He had studied all his patients (and aside from other details he wasn’t able to release under confidentiality laws) he was able to tell me 64% of his patients were aquarius.
It is funny that this statistic exists. A profiling overview of an aquarius person states […]
So, I have been planning on suicide on the 3rd next month. People are telling me not too but, I literally can’t take the pain anymore. I cut last night and I was clean for more than 3 months! But, anyways here’s my pointless story..
So, Last year. ‘8-3-12’ I kinda thought I was in love.
About a couple months into our relationship it was getting a little depressed.
The guy, Jt, told me he loved me everything and then a couple days later,
He just left me and told me everything was getting taken away from him,
his phone,ps3, home phone, etc.
So, I said […]
I am scared that I will kill myself one of these days.
I am a Christian. I was raised in an environment that told me suicide is a sin (the whole suicide is the murder of oneself, and murder is a no-no).
I am an immigrant. My parents emigrated from their birth place so I could have a better future. I’m tired of being such a failure to them. I know that I’ve fallen way short from their expectations and I feel like I’ve failed them when they’ve placed so much hope in me. I feel like I’m a waste of space, a financial drain on them. […]
I’ve been fighting off my own severe depression for 29 years, rather successfully, with an attitude that depression isn’t real, and thoughts about ending my life are just me being weak and unable to handle problems. But this tactic worked better when I was younger with opportunity ahead of me and the “my future will be bright” keeping me going; now that I’m 29, over educated and underemployed, fighting off depression with sheer will is becoming harder and harder, and the suicidal plans come easier and are more realistic and acceptable in my mind.
It’s less than day to day now; it’s hour to […]
I am sick of the bullshit that people say to me about suicide. All are invalid or just something they say because they dont know what to say.
“it gets better” – are you personally guaranteeing that? in reality it can also and more likely get WORSE
“someone loves you stay alive for them” – If suicide is selfish isn’t demanding someone to stay for you despite their pain and misery even more selfish?
“suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” – unless of course the problem is permanent then the solution is perfect. I dont think a temporary solution for a permanent problem is very […]
Nothing ever changes,
even when you say it will.
You’ve always been a liar.
Filling yourself with falsity.
Hopeful lies,
and a grin so wide,
your skin could tear.
I’ve seen what lies beneath
the sleeves of your favorite sweater.
I have seen your ugliest truth.
The beautiful marks
that stain your skin
as a reminder of a night
you forgot to swallow your pill.
Living in a world of hazed confusion,
trying to block out the truth
with an upped dosage,
and a sharper edge.
Where do you hide?
Pretending this will work,
and stifle the pain.
But I can hear you cry at night.
Keep pretending.
Just a little longer, my dear.
I need to know that something in me is still striving for an existence. I need to know that all of me has not given up hope. I feel as though I am drowning in a sea of no emotion, and will soon be so overcome with boilng rage, that I will begin to hurt others. I fear for what is in my mind. I fear for how I will turn out. I tell myself that things will get better because I want so badly to believe it so. I want to believe so badly that things will be okay, and it will all work […]
I’ve considered suicide multiple times, much less than most people though. I’m not one dealing with relationship problems, trying to escape pain from a disease, or other things, you name it. I’m fucking sick of humans. I can’t live on a planet that’s full of so many useless lives, including my own. Nobody takes anything seriously anymore, and if I had the option to nuke the planet, no questions asked I would do it, for the sake of any other life forms in this universe to take advantage of what we have. Aside from my hatred for humans, I can’t stand myself. I know I […]
For about 4 ½ years I’ve been unhappy, but never had the thought of suicide crossed my mind until I entered high school. (It’s not one of those things where I’m a loner and had no friends). I actually have had a lot of friends my whole life but I always felt like a hole and I was always just sad for no reason, so recently I started therapy for family reasons and my therapist ran a few tests and I go back July 30 to see if I can be diagnosed clinically depressed. Around February I became extremely rebellious an unhappy and I would […]
Sleep is out of my reach and I keep awake at night, visualizing all the methods that I can do to hurt myself. Depression and anxiety keeps me from going out of my room to interact with my family and I hate myself for it. I’ve never been this way before, it used to be a once-in-a-while feeling when I was a kid but now it’s getting more and more frequent. Of course, I can still appreciate a good joke and smile but I’m not quite as happy as I used to be. I find myself pointing out my flaws more often, refusing to eat […]
Ok well I told my family how I felt and how I want to end my probelms. They under stood and did not get angry they just didn’t understand how I could be sad with everything that I have. I told them about how my past constantly follows me and eats at me. My father suggested a therapist and I agreed only to see how it goes. We also decided as a family to wait until October and look for one. I’m not sure how long I can wait but I will try for my family. I didn’t tell them however that I cut and […]
Lately, i’ve been thinking about suicide. This anxiety is eating me out alive. I feel it nonstop, it’s always there. The feeling is so unreal, that it’s a mixture of the shock you get after hearing about the death of a loved one, and going down a big hill on a roller coaster. I have an anxiety disorder and a broken family. My parents rarely understand anything i’m going through, yet they’re always there for me. There’s a boy I love and he doesn’t love me back. He’s also depressed. If he were to die today, so would I. It would be my fault if […]
I’m 49 years old and have had suicidal ideation since I was about 9. I’ve had a lifetime of therapy, over 23 years of 12-step meetings, and almost 20 years of anti-depressants. I have many friends, I’m a licensed attorney, and I have the most charming house. Most important of all, I have the most awesome kid. When I read that I should not commit suicide because “things will get better,” I assure you, in many respects things couldn’t get any better. However, the effects of child abuse are incurable and life-long and after being alive for almost half a century, I am confident that things, fundamentally, […]