I’m such a hypocrite. I tell others not to cut.  Or not to commit suicide, when I’m over here imagining how good it would feel to see blood dripping down my arms. How much of a relief it would be to end it all. I tell my friends not to trust anyone, not even me. They always ask why and I never know what to say…but I know what I’m thinking.Even your friends can turn on you. You family even. I’ve experienced it. How great would it be just to not have to worry about anything anymore? Just disappear Like you were never here. It doesn’t even scare me […]
I have been struggling with this for a long, long time. Suicide, the word that is there all the time, something I can’t get out of my mind. I know exactly who I am, and what I am going to be if I don’t end this. I’m just an ignorant, ugly, fat, useless waste of air, and that’s exactly what I am going to be for the rest of my life if I dont stop it right now.
I’ve tried everything: I’ve tried to be positive, I’ve tried religion, I’ve tried to have friends, to talk with my family. Nothing works, it seems like I’m some […]
This past month ive had a relapse of depression. I was depressed as a kid (age 7-10) and now I’m depressed again (age 15). The reason for my relapse is frustration and stress at school with grades and such. It has escalated so quickly. I think of suicide most of the time. Today at school when i was walking in the hall i saw a sign out of the corner of my eye and one of the words read “Suicide” and did a double take and the word was gone. I guess i hallucinated. Anyway, i was never diagnosed with depression and i want to […]
I don’t know why i try anymore, honestly. it seems like everything i do actually does nothing in this world. I give my friends everything they ask for and keep my promises, you know, being a good friend, and they make up excuses, “oh, i had to stay home and watch my sister” or “I forgot” a couple weeks later. Dropping classes with me because it makes you too tired to be able to go hunting and leaving me to be with your cousin who buys you stuff. It’s crap because im supposed to be her friend, but she leaves me to be with her […]
For those who’ve kept up with my post. I almost cut last night but chose to make this video about self harm. The pictures are of my self harm they are graphic so if your easily triggered please dont watch.
Leave your comments on the video do you like it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KH0xxe3Kra0&feature=youtu.be
My story began many years ago when I was a naive kid who was bullied. Every time I tried to be perfect, friendly with people and never say any bad word. I trusted people and they trusted me because they knew I will never disappoint them. However, they disappointed me. It was one of the reasons why I became a potential liar. Honestly, I didn’t know that many years, even if some people asked me to stop doing that shit. I didn’t want to be antisocial, so I tried keep talking with people without opening my heart. Sometimes I lied, sometimes I didn’t tell the […]
My story:
I’ve had bouts of depression throughout my life. However, I was at one point and recently married, happy, and hopeful. Â Then one day the dark storm approached. My wife admitted to having multiple affairs, one in our first year of marriage (6 years total), and one that was still currently going on. There were other men in the middle. Just a month before this, she was talking to me about having children with me. Sending me baby names, etc. It was blue sky for me at that time… maybe a cloud or two. Once she told me, I thought I could fix the problem […]
What do you guys think God thinks of suicide? I would like to think that it is still forgivable, but I don’t know. These days Im tired of life, days go on and on the same. Don’t know what I want really. 🙁
I’ve made so many mistakes. I’m only fifteen, turning sixteen next month and I’ve done so many horrible things. I don’t like to leave my house because I’m not sure who I’ll see and what they think of me. I’ve gone to bars and gotten drunk making a fool out of myself, tried to pick up strangers and people who know me and my family, I’ve done drugs and had sex for money, and to top it all off I got pregnant and got an abortion two weeks ago. I was only six weeks along but I feel so sad whenever I think about it. […]
I actually took advice… I seeked help
I have wanted to die for the past several years that I can remember. Not as much for the reason of hating life; moreso the desire for all the pain around me to stop.
A sum up.. I grew up with a family who abused drugs and alcohol. Never had a real parental figure that helped me distinguish “right or wrong” or even a good sense of morals. I have had multiple relationships but all ended badly. I blame myself moreso because my first ever love had committed suicide when we were 16.
With that and a whole lot more that […]
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I wish life wasn’t getting harder for anyone. I wish I could make strength from pain for everyone to endure. I wish there was someone who decided to take these problems into huge consideration. As life continues more and more people who need this site haven’t heard of it and problems get worse. I want a cure for these painful endurances. Not medication.not suicide. Not just speaking or in this case typing but something different. If we can show the world how bad it sucks to be in our shoes will things change? I want me wish to be a dream… then it will […]
When my parents learn that I basically gave up on college, I will have let down every single person that has cared for me. Self loathing is about to hit an all time high. I even started cutting again after a year of not doing it, and make deeper, more deliberate cuts (maybe I’m a *****). I enjoy the pain, and seeing my own blood. If it wasn’t so hard to actually commit suicide that way, I might be incline to do it.
Gave up on my classes 2/3 of the way through the semester and I had A’s in all of them. I fucking hate […]
my girlfriend left for america months ago and we had a long distance relationship and we were talking over skype and then she told me that we can no longer be together because I am very far. I can’t stand this it has been 4 months we aren’t talking. I have spended a year with her and I can’t move on. I have decided that I want to suicide so I will be with her and I ordered painkillers and I am gonna take alot of them.
I am 20 and a student at stevens institute of technology for mechanical engineering. i dont know why i feel like this, it all started last year around christmas time. i began to feel very depressed but i treated it like everything else about me i dont like, i covered it up. It escalated over that semester and through the summer. now im in my third semester and im slipping to the point of failure in every class. if i dont pass all of these classes i will be asked to not return to the school, which is not an option. Ive pledged a fraternity and they […]
I’ve been considering suicide for years now. I lost my job, but I have about 15 years of cash to sit on, that I worked my ass off for, while I do what I love – hiking, etc. I’m only 27 years old. I guess I consider this an early retirement. Nobody around here is wanting to hire me. Fuck them. While they’re slaving away for a 60-something retirement that may never happen, I’ll be living out my life happier than they’ll ever be. I’m a plan ahead kind of guy. I had to watch my grandmother go on hospice who never got to enjoy […]
Now I know every one who has ever killed himself or herself never had a good reason to do so (according to others). Still they do….. and will go on taking their own life, rejecting this wonderful gift given by God. Maybe to some this gift is not at all a gift. I don’t see it as a gift. For me life had always been a burden. Humanity is not like a Jane Austin book. It is at most times stark ugly and cruel. There are no happy endings in life just some good stuff followed by a lot of  bad stuff, then a good […]
Hello, its me Anya, im not sure whos caring bout this post but whatever. So my thoughts, they have goten better, i still think bout suicide but in a way a little less negative, talking on here really help, oh and a big thank you to KeepBreathing4Now for listning to me vent, atm i feel happy i havent felt like that in a long time im not sure if it will stay that way, im kinda scared to be happy because it dosent stay that way for very long. Ah its late, good night, see you another day, that is if my thoughts dont get […]
Theres a girl … she doesnt know how to handle things… everythings spirling out of control… sometimes she can convince herself that shes not really alive… maybe shes in a nightmare.. and she just cant wake up..?
You’d never guess her secret if you knew here.. she hides it so well… she seems so happy… do you want to know her secret..? She cuts herself. She doesnt know why… and she doesnt understand why she resolved to it.. but one thing she knows is SHE CANT STOP.. […]
I’ve never really shared before, or at least not like this, but I think it maybe time. I cannot look back on my life and think of a time when I was truly happy. I remember as a child wishing God would “take me home with him” I didn’t know why, but I felt that way all the time. I feel like the worst person on the planet, I should be grateful for what I do have. I know there are plenty of people worse off than I am, but for some reason I cannot shake the feeling I’ve had for all of my life. […]