Death looks pretty attractive right now. The other night I went up into my attic looking for some guns my parents have been hiding. I fell through the attic and busted up my leg pretty good. Needless to say I feel even worse now. The last two days at work I haven’t been able to stop myself from crying. My supervisor gave me an extremely simple straight-forward assignment and I can’t do it. I can’t focus or concentrate on it. I’m stupid and worthless and lazy. I don’t deserve a good career. I don’t even deserve a bad career. I deserve no career. I fuck […]
Tag:
Teenager
I can’t do it anymore.
I don’t see a future for myself like I used to, it never used to be like this. Everything in the last few months has completely destroyed me, I tried to end it and failed. People only want to know if it clears their conscience.
All my life, I’ve had people walk all over me. I’ve been bullied at every school I’ve been to, I’m constantly reminded about how worthless and useless I am by my family, and now I have no one at all to fall back on. I’m sick of this feeling, like I’m just here, existing because people feel […]
leve me alone i dont like this i whant out of that billding i whant to go home
a fleeting glimps of what i youst to be of the boy runing torw my haed in a feld
were the red and blue flowers grow were the grass grows tall and thick were the boy who at age 9 pikt up a gutat and nevet let go he still hasut but the words of his songs talk of deth ad losst love with no way out with somthing to shout about WITH the will to go on
a fleeting glimps of what i was
a chilld […]
I’m surprised that people responded to my post about wanting to die probably because I’m used to being ignored when I need help the most. That’s right – ignored. It’s called growing up with a depressed, emotionally distant mother who was too preoccupied with her own problems to give her baby girl the nurturing and love she needed. Sneer if you want. Whatever. I don’t give a fuck. I’ve spent years in therapy, group therapy, on medications, making crazy, fucked up choices that intellectually I could not defend or understand yet I acted on anyway. I finally, finally put it all together: not enough of […]
Now aren’t I a sarcastic *****? eh, whatever. i really don’t give a shit about you. you’ll just be 16 with, what? how many babies? hahah, yeah. (****** right?*) mmm, the life of an average teenager, they got all them std’s and kids following them around, finding out that “somehow the condom broke!” (*Omg I wonder how??? *rolls eyes**) Yeah, and I’m being raised in this american hell. Bitches think they need to make themselves throwup to be perfect. they think they need to be so skinny. (*I should talk, what with being anorexic last year. (sigh)*) And what the hell is wrong with guys […]
By any means, I am not a ray of sunshine. I can’t help it. I’m only a teenager and I’ve basicly given up on life. I have no hopes for the future.
I used to want to be a journalist. I wanted to move back to Ireland and write about everything and anything. I wanted to get married and have a kid or two. I just wanted something out of life, but now I feel nothing. I feel numb. I just don’t know what I actually want. I had plans to do marvelous things with my best friends. But now, since one’s dead and the other […]
I’m not even sure how to do all this, I haven’t taken the time to read through everything. I just need to get this out. Now.
I think too much, way too much. I’m a 40 year old female who has thought about dieing since I was a teenager. I guess I’ve always been scared to live. I was bullied horribly in school. I never felt like I was good enough for my parents… But all of that is more than 2 decades in the past. Maybe that is what started my depression. I can’t even remember not being depressed. Now though, I’m on medication that […]
This will be one messed up post because I’m messed up. To put that honestly straightly in the beginning. But I guess something comes out of this. Or I don’t know, every hour of work produces something. And someone more clever than me recommended doing this so here I am. I don’t know what my problem exactly is. I just don’t know where to go. Or what should I do with my life. There are so many people here and they have most horrible stories and mine wouldn’t be anything to compare. Not like we should compare or anything. Hah, I’m happy if someone make […]
I’ll start of with this, im a girl, a teenager, who’s constantly thinking about death, has panic attacks very often, loses control of myself at night sometimes, i just love the idea of causing harm to herself.
but these things..I don’t want them to be a part of me anymore, i want to move on. I want to hold on to the littlest things in life,i want to survive this. until maybe around 12 hours ago I was just so ready all i needed were the right pills. but certain people, in my life, they just mean so much to me and i know that […]
i am an adult, now. at least according to the law – i’ve been an adult for quite some time. i’m 23 years old, on my fourth year of university and nowhere near graduation. i’m majoring in something i don’t love because i don’t love anything. i live away from my family – which is and has been broken for eight years, my mother so depressed she can barely hold a conversation that isn’t self-deprecating and shame-laden, my dad so lonely that it’s physically painful to speak to him, my younger brother so, so angry – and my two friends, who are the only meaningful […]
Before this post is removed, I hope someone can help me find the information I need. For the SP Moderator, whenever you swoop in, technically I am writing about my suicide story. It just hasn’t happened yet. Foreshadowing technically counts as a literary technique. I’m writing the introduction to my story. If Shakespeare was allowed to give away the ending of Romeo and Juliet, why can’t I?
Of all the methods I have (not efficiently) researched and heard discussed, the one most obtainable and suitable for me would be a bullet through the brain. However, as an incompetent, sheltered teenager, I don’t even know how to buy […]
Have you ever woke up, and was to sick to even think about getting out of bed? And by sick I don’t mean physically sick, I mean like emotionally sickened. Have you ever woke up and questioned your own existence? I just feel so selfish to even have these thoughts. I have everything I need and more. How come I’m not happy? I don’t even feel like being here anymore. This place just isn’t for me.
 I’ve tried to explain these feelings to someone before but it doesn’t really help. They usually just say “oh I’m sorry, I understand, I’m going through stuff too.” So then […]
I have grown closer to my mom but she broke that bond yesterday when you yelled at me about my grades. I have a step-dad and I hate him, I know it is a strong word but he has made this family worse than it already is. My brother always puts me down and he always gets the highest preaise cause he is smarter and he get good grades, he is in 4th grade. This family means nothing to me anymore and the only person I really love is my grandma cause she loves me and she cares about me and she doesnt bring me […]
This website, though I havent been on for an extremely long time, has seriously made my days a bit brighter.
It’s just nice to have some people who kind of understand what I’m going through. kind of.
But still, it feels exremely good to share my feelings with people who wont judge. I wont be called an attention seeker, wont get judged, and will be talking to people who will actually listen.
To be honest, I started this because I was basicly forced to. My therapist, who has become a very good friend of mine even though I’m a teenager, said it might be good to talk out […]
Okay, so I was on Yahoo! answers or whatever thats called, and this girl’s question was “How can I become an Insomniac?”
What. The. Hell. Is. the. matter. with. you?
She said she wanted to be an insomniac because she doesnt like sleep and she never sleeps.
Okay, you moron, Ima tell you what I know about sleep and insomnia: (some are personal experiences)
1.Sleep deprivation cam KILL you.
2. Insomnia is HORRIBLE.
3. you are a moron
4. People with insomnia are tired as hell, but can’t fall asleep
5. without sleep, you can begin to halucinate and have suicidal thoughts.
6. a lot of other boring facts that no one cares about.
BOTTOM […]
I was going to post a short story and pose the question whether or not my life has been worthwhile and ask myself if I would be better off never being born or committing suicide as a teenager. (I am a lot older now). It got rather long.
Of late my rants have gotten rather lengthy and I found this one to be getting the same. I am not sure that my condensed life story and my trials and tribulations would help anyone on this list except the elderly. Old people seem to be a great minority at this web site. I decided to sit on […]
A boy is the least of my troubles.
My problems are my problems.
Anxiety keeping me from living my life, meeting new people and having fun.
Depression is keeping me from loving my family, loving life and enjoying being a teenager.
Bipolar is making me lose people and so much more.
Like fuck, seriously, it frustrates me to the point were I want to rip my hair out.
Family is against me. Friends are against me. Life is against me. I’m against me.
Chaifair here, if anyone on here knows me, tnx 4 being my fwend.
Ever since I was little, my parents have always been different. Harder,stricter, meaner. To all outward appearances, they seem like some fairly-wealthy, friendly vignorons (grape growers). Well if they’re friendly, then they probably just dont like me. Preposterous you say? Your parents LOVE you you say?
No, they dont. Not mine at least. For years ive always been that useless, dumb child that they cant stand the look of. No matter how friendly i am, how well i achieve or how much i help them, i get more crap. Im not dumb and im not useless. But they think I am. Any thirst for knowledge […]
I’ve been silently suffering for a while now. I have had thoughts about killing myself several times, but they mostly hit late at night, which is when i feel most alone. I’ve pushed everyone in my life out and i’ve secluded myself from a lot, but not on purpose, it just kind of happened. I’ve lost a lot of people, and i feel like if i just did it and wasn’t such a coward i’d be in a much better place. I’m afraid of doing it because i don’t know what happens next, but i’m sure whatever happens next after that, is a lot better […]
Sometimes I wonder, really wonder, if there is anyone who would actually miss me if I left.
written by Silverteardrops
It’s so hard, that even though I love and cherish life I don’t want to throw it away, I don’t want to let him win. But they just don’t seem to see just how hard it is. Why won’t they make it stop?
Someone, anyone, has got to see the effect it has on me right? Someones got to see what he’s doing? But he’s “My dad”  right? Im must be a typical spoilt brat teenager, parents don’t bully their children, if only they FUCKING KNEW. Someones got to see, got to be ale to help me, Except, I’m too good at pretending, to good for […]