Tag:

the house

by Drowning 3/15/2016

written by Drowning

So I managed to make it though yesterday but the battle dosnt stop there ok I managed to get out the house today for a short time

but doesn’t change my thoughts on the world

what is the point in struggling with depression and emotional pain everyday ? People say things get better when is that ? What’s the point in life if you don’t have no goals no idea where your going or what will happen next

people say lifes a journey and you should enjoy it well I’m not fucking enjoying this bull shit having more down then ups feel like I’m crawling though life and […]

3/15/2016 3 comments

Had enough

by Drowning 3/14/2016

written by Drowning

I really haven’t got the strength to carry on my life has fell apart I’m depressed and so anxious I don’t really leave the house and to make things even worst I’m puting on weight because I’m comfort eating I really don’t know what to do I should have just killed myself last year iv just pro longed my pain and suffering

3/14/2016 9 comments

by Drowning 3/8/2016

written by Drowning

I’m so depressed it’s unreal and to make thing worst my poor mum is doing my part my depression and anxiety is so bad I hardly leave the house so when the kids come round my mum takes them to school in the morning I feel so bad I want to kil myself if I was dead and my mum was doing them things it would be ok but I’m alive and can’t do it so it makes me feel more useless then I already am

3/8/2016 8 comments

I’m not really an axe-murderer, I swear.

by Cordless 3/6/2016

written by Cordless

Since last night my internet connection died unexpectedly, I had to wait until I could get out of the house and go somewhere with WiFi.

While I was offline, I decided to use the time by writing some more music.

It’s a piece I started last week, during my extra dark bad days. Some things happened that triggered a pretty nasty pit of depression. It was bad and ugly and nasty, and I’m sorry for those of you that got to see that side of me.

Now I’m back to just my usual moderate day-to-day depression.
(Yay, I guess.)

But enough about that… the music!!
It’s a […]

3/6/2016 25 comments

It’s getting worse.

by canadiansunset 3/4/2016

written by canadiansunset

As some of you may know, I recently had a miscarriage. I feel terrible and can’t seem to get over it and my family is not helping at all. My dad and my brother call me fat literally everyday and my father is forcing me to go to the gym so I “get fit” or whatever. That breaks my heart. They don’t understand that the extra pounds I have and my tiny belly reminds me of my baby, and I’m not ready to let that go. I don’t care about looking hot or being fit right now. Plus, my mom basically keeps me under house […]

3/4/2016 1 comment

My secret love

by Hampshire_Girl 3/1/2016

written by Hampshire_Girl

My initial and his form part of my butterfly tattoo – K and A. Unless you know where to look, they’re hard to pick out. Like a special code which requires deciphering.

I’ve known him for nearly two years. We chatted online for a couple of months before meeting up. He’s 40 next month (12 years younger than me) and shares a house with his parents and two dogs. He is on medication for depression and has […]

3/1/2016 1 comment

College Tomorrow

by JiminyCrispies 2/28/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

The panic has started to set in again as my mum has repeatedly mentioned that I have to go back to college tomorrow.

Despite threatening to not even go into the building, she’s still insistent that I go. She warned me about if my personal tutor rings her again if I’m not in. I can’t go in. The Others are still there. They’re in my class, and I’ll die if I go in. I’ve ran out of excuses to stay off.

I’ve had multiple panic attacks this weekend just thinking about going in. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I need to get out of […]

2/28/2016 3 comments

Hopefully tonight is the night…

by Soulless-one 2/26/2016

written by Soulless-one

Some of the things I will speak about in this, have already been stated in my previous post, not too long ago. So let’s begin.

As a child I was constantly beat up by my step father, this only stopped when my mother kicked him out of the house. I would constantly be beaten up and bullied at school, during the same periods of time. I went on to secondary school, the first 4 days were fine, but after that I started getting bullied again. At around age 13, I lost it in a fit of rage and beat the “Leader” of the group of bullies […]

2/26/2016 16 comments

by Drowning 2/25/2016

written by Drowning

Was meant to go college today set my alarm but when it was time to get up I couldn’t get up iv had enough of this shit everyday waking up tired everyday no motivation I could easily sleep 12 hours I don’t even like college ok it gets me out the house and I’m almost done well I think I’m planning on another attempted once I finish college I don’t even no what to do with myself my life has fell apart I’m rock bottom I can’t live like this anymore

2/25/2016 1 comment

40gig of shit

by inf1n1 2/23/2016

written by inf1n1

so i didnt pay the internet bill and its way overdue to go off…thing is i downloaded a 1tb worth of movies/series/games/music to keep myself sane..then the un-thinkable happened my fckin hdd went on fire i lost my phone other week also and i fuckin hate tv so ive been sat in the house with no food reading books from the library even put the noose around my neck a few times could not go through with it oh and i trapped my left hand tip of index finger in door and its hangin off ive stuck it back on and its black should go […]

2/23/2016 2 comments

Tonight. ..

by Itstimemi 2/22/2016

written by Itstimemi

I can’t believe I am at this point. I cheated on my wife of 10 years, with a woman that I barely knew, and recently she found out about it. I have two great kids, but don’t feel I can be the example as a good man for anymore, as she told me..I destroyed my family, her trust, and replaces the love she had towards me with anger and hate. She says I have literally drained the life from her and wasted her life…I no longer want to be a burden for her, and the financial gain she will get from this is huge, over […]

2/22/2016 4 comments

by Drowning 2/22/2016

written by Drowning

I guess I’m just trying to wind up the courage to try again had enough of this bull shit anyways being depressed anxious ain’t left the house in days struggle to get out of bed this isn’t life for a 26 year old I would rather be dead I no people have worst lives then I do but iv just mad a mess of things that can’t be fixed and the loneliness is to much to bare anymore hope I get the courage soon

2/22/2016 2 comments

A Thousand Sleepless Nights

by JiminyCrispies 2/19/2016

written by JiminyCrispies

I’ve been trying to act somewhat ‘normal’, and not like everyone is trying to murder me. It’s difficult, to say the least. I can’t keep up with emotions anymore. I’m not reacting to things I’m supposed to, and I’m reacting differently than I should in other situations. I’m getting yelled at for being ’emotionless’, and I’m getting yelled at for ‘behaving inappropriately’.

The voices are constant now, specifically the running commentary and the laughing. The demons missed last night again, but I’ve saw the shadow people throughout the day instead.

My mood has been ridiculously low all day, anger being the most prominent one. It’s not even […]

2/19/2016 4 comments

I don’t know how to fix this

by Cordless 2/2/2016

written by Cordless

Because I’m disabled and my allowance is very small, I have been on Medicaid. This has made my prescriptions affordable, and I’ve been very grateful for the help.

But something happened yesterday; when I got the notification that my prescription was ready to pick up, it gave a cost which was WAY too expensive.

It’s as if they cancelled my Medicaid for some reason. This is a giant problem, since I can’t afford any of my medication without it.

I only have four pills left, and then will have to abruptly stop everything.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, my right leg brace broke tonight, and I can’t afford […]

2/2/2016 16 comments

Can Jealousy lead to Murder?

by Ylem 1/15/2016

written by Ylem

I’m asking this because I think this is why everyone in our neighborhood hates my family. This is why they harassed me and ended up killing my brother.

We are pretty much the only decent and properly groomed children in my area. Kids younger than me have a kid or 2. They are school dropouts with no future. They are drug addicts and so on.

In my family though, we are all going to school and making a name for ourselves.

My father is the breadwinner of the family. He needs to retire now. He has been working too hard. My mother is a housewife. She had to. […]

1/15/2016 6 comments

More Suicidal than Ever

by lonely2k14 1/14/2016

written by lonely2k14

problems with parents. depressed. suicidal.

my mother finds every excuse to beat me, yell at me and ruin me. ive been told many times to kill myself by her, to leave, to go to an orphanage, but to mostly just die. it was terrible before but it’s only getting worse. recently she locked me outside of the house at night in below freezing weather, while it was raining and left me there for a near hour, locking the doors of the house. then, on the same day, she said to me “either i die or you die” and kicked me out of the house again for […]

1/14/2016 19 comments

This is my Punishment

by Ylem 1/5/2016

written by Ylem

My head is torturing me. I keep having this very vivid image in my head. This dream that haunts me even when I’m awake. It gives me one hell of a motherfucking headache also.

I walk into the house. It doesn’t matter how the dream begins, I always end up in the house. My house. I’m immediately greeted by the smell of blood. I think it has a smell. Especially blood associated with death. Something you never forget.

The smell of that blood is imprinted in my mind. The blood I was covered in when he was killed. I think I got some in my mouth. But, […]

1/5/2016 2 comments

Protected: Reasons to Live #1: Copper

by whiskered-fish 12/23/2015

written by whiskered-fish

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

12/23/2015 12 comments

So much work

by notsureifreadytogo 12/3/2015

written by notsureifreadytogo

So many lose ends to tie. Is it stalling? Is it because I care about the ones left behind? Does it matter once you’re gone? Its so hard to do anything. To even leave the house. I think I do care, if I didnt, I’d just keep going. Waiting on a paycheck to buy my materials. Gotta write the letters, leave a clean house, and find the thing I need to do the job. It sucks. I think only here can someone understand what its like to want something so badly, and not want it at all either.

12/3/2015 3 comments

The love of my life killed himself yesterday

by Halfmoon 11/17/2015

written by Halfmoon

My friend of 35 years and boyfriend for 5 years killed himself yesterday. A shot of heroin in the arm took his final breath.

Others view it as an overdose because he was cheerful that we were spending the holidays together.

The reality: I found a spoon containing heroine, a Qtip from my bathroom, broken pen from my kitchen, an empty bag of syringes all stuffed a grocery bag with a time dated receipt in a local grocery bag pinpointing when he picked up using again. He just finished a year of rehab and I stood strong beside him.

I photographed the drugs and other items and emailed […]

11/17/2015 11 comments

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