I’ve had a few good days. Better than before. The thoughts are still there. Who knows. I’ll just keep going for now. It’s strange to pretend this side doesn’t exist. Maybe this will go away eventually. I don’t want to think about it any more… Just feel better. Circumstances are changing…. For better or worse, we will see.
think
By the end of my junior year and beginning of my senior year of high school so many things were going through my head. Also at that time my high school ex had broken up with me. So much confusion because she was my first love, we cared about each other tremendously, and she was all i could think about. But when she told me that she didnt want to be together any more it shattered me a bit. I played it cool for a few months, but just seeing her hurt even more. A year has passed and she graduated already. I remember visiting […]
I work, I study, I read, I listen to music, I paint, I talk, I meet friends, I ride my bike, I go on a walk, I drive around in a car, I go to the cinema, I drink, I smoke, I write. But I am never nearly busy enough not to think about you.
Hello JS and Shepard….. I’m writing from my little apartment in Puerto Vallarta. I moved here on August 1st and will be here until the end of January. I, too, have stayed away from the site for my own reasons…. taking a break is sometimes a good thing.
I just want to say that the two of you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers. I still have down days but nothing like the darkness that plagued me for so long in the last 5 years.
JS, I was so blessed to hear from you personally a while back. Your strength has given me strength. Shephard, I […]
never thought id be back on here again. never thought id be self-harming again. never thought that id think of ending it again. never think ill be truely ‘okay’ again.
This world…….this life ….this day …people believe they Know pain….the truth is no one can describe pain…its not a word every individual can answer…. The word pain can only be described by you….you yourself can explain what it is you think pain is…teenagers believe that every problem is suicidal and what their going through is so bad it can only be cured by death……there friends may think they know what’s wrong and tell them stop its okay …they love u …stop hurting and talk to me….and for some that will change there feelings ….people who do accept the comments made by their friends just means […]
Okay, so this is in reference to this thread: http://suicideproject.org/2014/08/a-big-hug-to-you-guys-and-a-suggestion/
A lot of people I talked to expressed their willingness to enter such a place, where they could actually forget about the pain, even for a moment. But there was one guy who expressed his reservations over this (and quite valid I’m afraid). You could simply read the comments in the above linked thread and let us know what you think?
By default, any topic in this category would also be visible on the homepage to everyone, irrespective of whether they’re interested to look into this or not. They could feel while everyone else is happy, they’re not. […]
today i smoked the last of my weed in a awsom pipe i found kicking around the house today i met a new guy whos odvs a shrink but hes a yank and “hip and cool as was in us airborn” hes ok to nice though… today…. today i cryed cos im in tret of loseing the girl i lov theres biger problems in the world than my love life tthat i haft to worry about like my frends who is crying cos she was raped on the 5 haveing been were shes at i know how shes feeling it neverchanges all the people cry the […]
I find that throughout my day as Im cringing while thinking of my life and mistakes, I have these uncontrollable outbursts of saying fucked up shit. Like I will randomly just say to myself “kill yourself”, “you should die”, “Im already dead”, ” fucking kill me”. Then I freak out and go ” why did you say that”, or ” dont think that way”. Its really annoying and its like im suicidal automatically, whether im happy or not. I just want to be the real me again. It literally feels like I dont know who Im looking at when I see my own reflection.
so after a rough time with a bunch of nasty guys I decided to just live on my own, not let anyone in. I met a few guys and turned them down, too many awkward silences and dumb conversations. but one night I went on a date with a guy and for once he was a gentleman, he booked a table and he wore jeans that didnt show his bum, we laughed and i nearly cried laughing and there were no moments of scilence and he is clever, so clever and we talked about politics and current affairs and horses( we both have horses)but then after i […]
I am very sad and I am very scared but I am trying. I don’t know if this site is helpful to me because everyone here is so sad. Which makes sense. But I’m sad too, and no one understands. I’m living with my boyfriend, and every time I tell him about my thoughts and feelings that scare me he gets upset and quiet. He doesn’t want to talk about it, but I need to. I feel like a time bomb. I feel like one day something will happen that I just can’t handle and that’ll be it. I try to think of my little […]
My life is a series of fucked up events and people, it’s my own hell. I have been hurt and disappointed so much in my life that I have shut down, I don’t truly trust anyone and I’m emotionally shut off. I was in love once or so I thought, and this past year I lost it all. Family, friends, and the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It’s over been over and yet I still talk to him, everything I keep doing is stupid. I want to let go to just leave all of this behind. […]
*poof*
HELP!!! Please see the signs, i need help, support. I am sick, depression is killing me, slowly, surely. When I talk you ignore and pretend everything is fine. You judge and blame me for being weak. All those times I stopped crying and pretended I was fine, all those times I confused myself by not permitting myself to show emotion was because of you. I am afraid of sharing now. Most of the times I am numb I don’t know what I’m feeling or who i am. I have killed myself slowly emotionally, because when I needed help, understanding, sharing,love you didn’t give it to […]
i think i have sleep apnea. im excited, cause if i do, i might be able to get my life back! even though im frustrated that i took medicine that i didnt need,and they damaged my body, but that might be reversible. i hope this works. i need it too. its either this or suicide….
I hate how awful my brother makes me feel. I hate how I have to smile for my mom. I hate how my brother is like my mom and gets easily mad. I hate how I do the same to my little brother and have to try to stop myself. I hate how I do the same things all day. I hate when it’s my mom’s off days because she is always watching to make sure I act happy. I hate how my mom hates the real me. I hate how she loves this mask, this facade. I hate how even on here I’m just […]
Everyday i wake up and think why am i still here? I don’t want this life. I don’t even know why i feel this way. I just don’t wanna continue on anymore. People say life is too short, but i think its too long. I’ve tried many times to kill myself self harm, drugs, overdosing on alcohol, attempted to jump out of my bedroom window, but nothing has killed me, i think im too scared to kill myself. Everytime i try i think about how much trouble im going to be causing everyone around me the devastation ill leave behind. I like my parents enough […]
Should i make a youtube channel
about my bi problem or nahh
oh and im starting to take a interest in making
songs and playing piano but the problem
is that a piano cost a lot and i cant sing
what you think?
I found the only thing stronger than grief, pain, and despair its name is what we call fear
On the 31 of july i woke up whit just one thougth on my head the thougth of dying i planned everything that very morning, yeah i even wrote here i just needed to talk myself off before well you know crossing over, im not a writer so im going to say the things as they happened and everything i felt on my self frustrated “try”
I phone called my gradfather in order to check if he was going to be in home (nobody suspect my condition, yeah im […]
my life is crap. it will always be. i have bipolar disorder. i will always have it. why should i keep going? im not even sad right now, im just being honest. I have two people who im living for, my gf and my son. I cant provide for them because of my issues right now, plus horrible economy. im poor, and black. i have health problems. i couldnt find love if my gf left me, which she might. I have 1 other friend. I live with my folks, and my family is sick just like me. Im thinking of killing myself, and writing a […]