Tag:

thought

Unprempted Survivor

by Scarlett Dawn 9/12/2014

written by Scarlett Dawn

I thought I had finally found the perfect method. Tbh, I had in my time frame and with what I could get in possession of.

Yet destiny must have thought against my wishes and I was revived in time.

Last Friday night I injected just over 5mg of ithium methadone (not being a junkie, I missed my vien) swallowed approx 230mg of water dissolved fluoxetine cognitive mixture and a bottle of JD to try and OD.
I was in an induced coma for three days then in ICU at Redcliffe for two with breathing, feeding, etc tubes down my throat and needles sticking out of me everywhere. […]

9/12/2014 4 comments

Missing.

by fairmount 9/9/2014

written by fairmount

It took me a long time to get to this place. Don’t we all want to be clean? I know i did. I didn’t want to live with the hidden cuts, the physical heaviness of my chest, a head so foggy i could barely grasp my own thoughts. I didn’t want to look after every one around me just to make sure no one tried to look after me. I wanted to be my own person. Look after myself. Fix myself. Be a normal person. Live happy. happy. happy. happy.It was infuriating. Cut to be happy. Cut because i’m not happy. Could i please die […]

9/9/2014 2 comments

This is the end, my only friend, the end

by generic name 3 9/8/2014

written by generic name 3

Here i am, unable to sleep once again. It has been becoming more regular lately. Thinking of the failures of my life. The failures bound to take their place in my life eventually, who knows how many more there could be. I feel like it’s getting closer to the day that i just give into these thoughts. I just want it to come to an end. An abrupt, swift end.

Now for a little back story i guess (sorry in advance in if i get carried away). When i was in primary school, i was bullied to the point where an eight year old (myself) wanted […]

9/8/2014 5 comments

Really early morning rant

by Briar 9/7/2014

written by Briar

so i couldn’t really sleep so i was left all alone with my thoughts, and that’s not really a happy place for me. insert sigh here. heh i’m not used to spilling my problems out, but i thought this might help a little; that and i can think up horrible things for myself and this was a good way to distract myself. and right now any little bit is good. so i suppose i should start with the basics since this is my first actual post and non-comment. i’m 16, i’ve had a pretty good life so far, kind of distant parents, not that i […]

9/7/2014 0 comment

Venting…

by This_iz_me 9/7/2014

written by This_iz_me

I cannot sleep…. I keep thinking about what someone said to me “no one gives a ish”….

No one cares and to have no one in your corner ,hurts. I tried telling a friend a few minutes ago that I still deal with depression and cannot get rid of these sucidal thoughts, And just said ” i thought you wasn’t going to go to that place no more”? Like really…. if i could really had a choice to feel the way I do don’t you think I would choose not to be feeling sucidal, depressed and lonely all the time…Damn, I do wanna be happy but I […]

9/7/2014 3 comments

how can anyone escape from thoughts of suicide? I had suicide attempts and thought since i was eight years old both side of my family had someone who killed themselves. I feel like I am trapped and the only way to be free is to let go.

by viviqueen07 9/5/2014

written by viviqueen07

9/5/2014 3 comments

this is the end, beautiful friend…..

by tasteslikekevinbacon 9/4/2014

written by tasteslikekevinbacon

Hi every miserable self loathing being! Don’t let your youth be the end of you. Believe it or not, its the best part of your life. It gets much worse as life grinds on and on. I’m 38 and have suffered chronic depression as long as I can remember. My youth was filled with constant bullying and a knowledge of being less than. I have always been overweight, unattractive and poor. Looked upon and treated like a lepper.

People always say your a great guy, smart, fun, nice, blah blah blah. But when the chips are down, its just me. Holding the bag while they all […]

9/4/2014 4 comments

I Shouldn’t Be Happy

by depressednihilist95 9/3/2014

written by depressednihilist95

I saw all of this news about ISIS beheadings and Ukraine in despair, and to be honest, I don’t really care about it anymore. I almost wish that ISIS would take over and America would get involved in a nuclear war with Russia, because that would increase my chance of dying. Why fucking bother with humans? We’re never satisfied with what we have. I am no exception. Life feels so unfortunate, like a losing game. Whichever path chosen leads to death and disappointment. Fall in love only to fall out of it or want to cheat because one lover is not enough. Of course, that […]

9/3/2014 3 comments

Don’t say goodbye

by StitchedMouth 9/3/2014

written by StitchedMouth

Don’t say goodbye…

Saying goodbye is possibly the hardest thing a single human has to do. You take so much things for granted and when you have to let them go, the feeling is indescribable. But I don’t like to say goodbye, I’d rather say Hello, it doesn’t hurt as much. So don’t say good bye and I won’t forget. Because saying good bye means forgetting. I don’t wanna forget though. …Even the porcelain dolls that you have to say goodbye to, it harms everything in my chest when thought’s sink in.

I must go now, so talk soon maybe.

9/3/2014 0 comment

My birthday, another day of disaster.

by DeathGreeter 9/1/2014

written by DeathGreeter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97S66xee0U8

August 31st.

I’m sitting here on my chair, thinking about ME and MY pathetic life as usual. Given the fact that today is my birthday just makes me feel ”ultra sad”. Birthday usually symbolize the day of you being bought upon this world so you can ”celebrite” it. But in my definition of birthday is totally different, the thought of birthday makes me sad, what have i got to celebrite for? Being forced to live in this world? All I did was making my birth mother suffered, being pushed out of her womb as she scream in absolute pain is something to be happy for? Enough […]

9/1/2014 5 comments

Dark

by Starlove 9/1/2014

written by Starlove

I’m so tired of this. Every night the urge gets worse. Worst part is, I don’t think I’ll ever work up the nerve to kill myself. I can’t buy a gun, and there’s no way to hang myself (nothing sturdy enough to withstand the jolt of a body dropping). I don’t have strong enough rope, anyway. There’s a knife in here with me, and in the moments when I slither out of bed to look out at the sky–star light star bright please don’t make me live another night–I hold it, study it, contemplate it. It’s blunt, and forcing it past layers of skin and […]

9/1/2014 4 comments

Has anyone ever…

by anomR 8/31/2014

written by anomR

Has anyone never let anyone in before. Not out of fear but simply not caring enough and then met someone who they thought walked on water and was prepared to die for. I love her so much, it’s been 10 months 3 weeks and 2 days since she left me. It’s not like I’m a loner or anything I know loads of people who love and care about me. I could get another girlfriend who’s more attractive. But there’s something about her, I just adore and I don’t know why. It doesn’t make any sense and isn’t logical at all. She has confirmed repeatedly she’d […]

8/31/2014 2 comments

I can’t stop thinking about ending it…

by cagedtiger 8/30/2014

written by cagedtiger

I talked to someone today and he helped me a lot. He gave me a ray of hope and a thought about something that I need to try to do, and I felt better than I had in quite a while, but… I still can’t stop crying and wanting to just end it all. I’m trying out something where I wait out the week and see if I can retrieve some money or items from the person who has been scamming me, but I don’t know if I’ll get anything back. If I do make the decision to end it, there are things that I […]

8/30/2014 8 comments

Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage

by yagharek 8/29/2014

written by yagharek

I really should have died then, Tsukuru often told himself. Then this world, the one in the here and now, wouldn’t exist. It was a captivating, bewitching thought. The present world wouldn’t exist, and reality would no longer be real. As far as this world was concerned, he would simply no longer exist—just as this world would no longer exist for him.

8/29/2014 0 comment

bitter

by thom wye 8/28/2014

written by thom wye

I’m 24, sort of successful with my studies I guess, got a bachelors degree in math, admitted to a US university to study math with tuition paid by teaching assistantship, good future and career ahead of me, if I cared for boasting, I would say I have pretty high IQ and stuff… my parents are proud, my sister is proud, my thesis supervisor is proud, my friends are proud.

I don’t care.

we broke up with my now ex-gf almost a year ago after a wonderful seven years. I’m not over it, I doubt I’ll ever will. and while I miss her every night (or someone she […]

8/28/2014 5 comments

She wants to stay with me forever

by Scarlett Dawn 8/28/2014

written by Scarlett Dawn

Out of all my friends I am one of the most suicidal unfortunately.

When I admitted to The clinic, my closest friend had already been in here for a month prior due to an Eating Disorder.
When I’d get severely down she’d always say “we can do it together” I always said “no. I refuse to drag you down with me” and I meant it. Jess doesn’t actually want to die, she has an ED that wrecks her life but I can see hope for her. She’d been well once, she can be well again.
And then I met Britt. Both these girls were so much […]

8/28/2014 2 comments

Inspired

by BrokenClock 8/27/2014

written by BrokenClock

For a while I didn’t create an account on here and a lot of posts are just inspiring and resonate a lot.

I bookmarked a couple and thought about taking bits and pieces and making a collage with quotes.

Can anyone else suggest other ideas?
I just think it’s nice to be reminded it’s okay to feel the way you do and that you’re not alone.

8/27/2014 2 comments

by 1298 8/26/2014

written by 1298

went to my first therapist session today. …

yeah i really can’t do this. i thought so seriously about killing myself afterwards. i mean, not more seriously than i have before. it’s just… i can never explain to anyone how this feels. i hate everything, and i try so fucking hard all the time to just get along
but i’m stupid, and i make mistakes, and everything is just so goddamn pointless and i never get any joy out of anything and i know people want me here now but i still don’t care, and i guess i hate myself for that, too, but what am […]

8/26/2014 5 comments

I don’t know what’s happening

by lolzmay 8/24/2014

written by lolzmay

Well, i was diagnosed with endogenous depression a couple months ago and i haven’t really been getting any better. Lately I’ve been struggling to eat; I feel like i’m going to puke at the thought of food, and having to force myself to eat makes me cry. I can’t handle more than a couple spoonfuls of food before I feel sick, and I just can’t understand why. Has anyone else ever gone through this?

8/24/2014 8 comments

What do you guys think?

by bornfordying123 8/21/2014

written by bornfordying123

I believe life is essentially pointless.

I say this not necessarily because I feel our everyday experiences are void of meaning, but because we are going to inevitably forget all of our experiences, we will have no way of knowing we ever existed; in essence, nothing will have mattered.

It is to my understanding, that this this belief is what fundamentally causes me to be such a calm and reserved individual. Very seldomly does something really get to me, in the back of my mind, I know the clock is ticking to my death, I […]

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8/21/2014 1 comment

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