Isit wrong to say that iv had enough of living ? I feel iv done enough and seen enough life sucks now how the hell isit going to be better the olderI get ? even as I child I didn’t want to live a long life Im kind of greatful I made it to 26 let alone 62 that means iv lived two life times in my eyes thought my time would come when I was 18 I wanted to die then and I still do now a decade later I’m still here by gods will I’ll live up to 99 I bet no physical […]
I’m about done, I’m tired of being the last child, I’m a twin, we’re the oldest, yet she gets everything, he gets everything, the baby gets everything. “How come I didn’t get to go to the restaurant?” -me. “Because we thought you were going to go outside.” -mum. “You don’t let me outside, I’m not allowed outside. Things would be easier if you didn’t have four kids, you could easily take care of us all, and maybe love us equally.” Then of course I get sent to my room. I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired of this life…
-BloodShallShed
I heard this site was a perfect place for a person like me. A perfect place to write down thoughts, express feelings, as well as support others. I never thought my life would turn this direction, or if i would ever have to resort to a place like this. Its scary, thinking thoughts like this..Taking these steps.. Baby steps.. It seems like its the only solution.. To a permanent problem.. My future is damned.. I’m not sure what i want to do… I’m pretty sure i’ll be back tomorrow to post, this feels nice.. Sorry if this is a shitty post by the way, like […]
so it’s me again. i’ll probably be writing posts all day long, spilling my dark and unforgiving past onto the internet for all to see. so. yeah. i already told you a bit about my goddamned life before, and so keeping that in mind, i’ll tell you more about what i call “my personal hell on earth”. great, right? no? yeah, i thought that’s what you were gonna say. i’ll be back at approx. 12:30 (my time) with juicy details about my sucky life.
That everything we have been told is a lie? Like a lot of people on here I often thought about suicide, but I thought I might at least do a lot of research on death before I really do it. I found out we might not be as free as we thought when we die. Even in death we might be trapped into keep coming back to earth to more pain and suffering. Take a look at this site http://humansarefree.com/2015/03/escape-their-trap-and-set-your-soul-free.html I have read about near death stories and they almost all involve […]
I just joined, and I was looking up something completely different, I just thought this was something else too… I looked at a few stories and such and it got me thinking that maybe I should reach out to people that actually understand my situations and stuff…. I figured this would be a good and safe place for me to meet friends, and help others too… I’m one of those people that would rather be alone, but I will help others in a heart beat, I know it’s kind of strange, but I do hope that I can help others, and I will try my […]
If I really think about this question, it comes down to basically two things. The people in my life who would be affected and the fact that I’m scared of something going wrong with my attempt. Another odd thought came into my mind. I DON’T WANT TO LEAVE A BODY!! I don’t want somebody to have to come across me – lying there dead. I’ve always had a problem with blood (not that my method involves it) but, you know, just general messiness. I just want to disappear. I don’t even care if nobody remembers me. I just don’t want a fuss. In fact, it […]
I’m so tired its unreal my eyes burn all day iv had this weird thought on my mind
most of us right now are in pretty dark places right ? Most of us would rather not be around right ? We want all our problems to be fixed to some degree which brang us to this dark place or to be fixed in some way or the other BUT what happens IF we some how get to a point were we want to actually live life EITHER way we are running out of time we could spend our whole life searching for happiness and not find […]
I thought I had met the most amazing guy and that he actually liked me. He promised me he would try to be with me despite it was against his religion (he is Muslim). We had a pregnancy scare but we thought it was nothing, and we went off for Winter Break. He wouldn’t even kiss me anymore because it was “wrong” but said he was trying his best to be ready for me. Once the break was over, I didn’t go back to uni and he just stopped talking to me. Soon after, I found out I was actually pregnant and he just pushed me away. He […]
It’s a tragedy, really,
How I spent so much time
On you.
You used to make me feel invincible,
Like the world was mine.
But now I’m alone,
With you running through my mind.
It hurts to know that you’ve moved on
While I’m stuck here
Surrounded by my destruction.
The thought of you still keeps me awake.
You’re gone but you’re everywhere;
And you’re not coming back.
It’s time to move on.
I have given up.
At least that’s how it feels everything is going.
Everyone here would love to disagree with me. “But Brittany, you’re such a brilliant girl!” “But Brittany, you’re such a social butterfly! Everyone loves you!”
It doesn’t feel like it…
I can’t find the will to get out of bed anymore, I think it’s getting bad again, but I don’t know how to tell anyone… Because there’s always something they see that somehow proves that I’m completely fine- in their opinion. I’m constantly numb. I’ve thought of things I haven’t thought of in a while and it scares me. I don’t want to go back to being desperate to […]
Hi,
My name is Zyia Tenaglia, I’m 14.For the past 3 years I have been struggling . Nothing is the same anymore , I’m not wanted, people make that very clear. My mom basically told me I’m just her unpaid babysitter . I lived a happy life with my grandmom , I lived with her almost all my life , until the judge made me and my older sister go to live with my mom. Huge mistake , he thought that if he let us go live with her she would change . She never did , she got worse . Everyday I am verbally abused. Words […]
So, to my new found friends, supporters, here’s a run down of news, thoughts, etc.
First off, I told the one family member I trust my plans for leaving in detail. I assured them it wasn’t a cry for help, a threat, or an attempt to guilt trip. That I was only sharing so it wouldn’t be a total shock. Overall it was received well. A wish I wouldn’t but complete understanding
I’m on the fence about my guitar amp. To replace or not. Kind of pointless if I kill myself. Then again, I could always add to the debt I leave behind. I’m excited to […]
At this point I’m trying to find a way of telling my mum I want to leave I can’t take it no more I guess I found the love of my life and I sabotaged the relationship by cheating on her I didn’t want my kids to come from a broken home now they have iv become everything I feared why do men cheat ? Why do we get tempted so easily? just the thought of her loving someone else is killing me let alone another person raising my kids the emotional pain is far worst then the psychical pain love really dose hurt I’m […]
The constant thought of ending my life is tearing me down. I wish to end it, but somehow I can’t.
The thought of suicide keeps coming back and slowly becomes stronger and stronger.
My friends and my family have abandoned me. I never bothered to look them up. Now I want to look them up, they don’t have time for me :'(
I don’t care anymore whether I live or die and now I am dealing with my survival instinct. I wonder when I will find the strength to finally end it all.
All the harassment cost me my friends and the people doing the harassing and stalking have […]
I joined this site when I was in seventh grade. stopped my freshman year of high school. Now I’m almost a senior and I’m back.
There’s been so much on my mind I can’t really describe the way I’m feeling. it just not right, I don’t feel right. A couple months ago I was giving away almost all my things.
Everything i use to love, my paints, my canvases, my books, items that had sentimental value to me i just threw away like it was garbage. I honestly wasn’t expecting to be around this long. but i also wasn’t planning on killing myself. In my head I already […]
I just realized that the title of my last post looks like it couldn’t been a play on “twix this rainbow.” Well, it ISN’T, and I’m sorry if anyone might’ve thought that at all. I’d never mock someone like that, sorry if it looked like I had.
It comes to my mind occasionally, the prospect of waking up in a hospital following a suicide attempt.
It scares me. It unleashes a new fear of doubt and uncertainty: the question of, “what if?”
What if the rope doesn’t work, then what? Or the pills? What if the bullet misses, or the height is too short? That the bag doesn’t work, or that the blood doesn’t flow? Then what? You wake up.
The simple thought of waking up the next day alive is unbearable.
The shame and guilt and hopelessness, anger, ALL negative feelings, how can you bear it?
I want to know if there are people out there […]
Just because, I smile, doesn’t mean I don’t know pain
Just because, I laugh, doesn’t mean I’m not hurting inside
Just because, I don’t cry every moment of the day , doesn’t mean I don’t want to
Just because, I can seem strong, doesn’t mean every little thing can’t break me
Just because, I seem happy and okay, doesn’t mean I am
Just because, I say ” I’m fine “, doesn’t mean I am
Just because, I look like I’m independent, doesn’t mean I don’t need love
Just because, I am not saying this […]
This month, I was a victim of abuse. Twice. No, not “use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse”, it’s “treat with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly”. I’ve been abused many times now, but I think this month is the worst.
Abuse story 1:
So, one day I was in class, didn’t finish my work, so I was supposed to stay back for recess, but I didn’t want to. The teacher dragged my collar (I was about 3-5 meters away from the class when this happened) all the way to the classroom door, and threw me. I hit something, so I got […]