Just a few hours ago, 153 innocent people were murdered. At leas one of them had now desire to die, but I’m assuming that was the case for most, if not all, of them. People wanting to live had their lives forcefully ripped from them, while I want to die but just don’t have the energy to try. I’d gladly trade places with any of them. This world is a cosmic, “Fuck you,” to everyone. Innocent people that want to live die every day, while those of us that want to die can easily end up surviving a suicide attempt or two. This is bullshit, […]
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to die
but .. she betrayed me … ! who is she … it’s life !! yup … it’s life …
i sow it .. a beautiful and loved it .. i wanted to live it .. i wanted to stay in it .. i didn’t ever wanna leave .. but it’s forcing me to !! i didn’t ever wanted .. it’s kicking me out .. like i am a ball ! why .. know i made many mistakes ! if god is watching he will know i’m not the only one .. alot of people had made many mistakes and many of them got the bless of […]
My first time taking it was really recently. DAMN THAT STUFF IS AWESOME! Sure, it has fucked up side effects, but those are things for people who want to live to worry about, not me. Still suicidal, but at least now I see things the way they are:
I am meant to die as a lone wolf
I’ve tried acting ”normal” for far too long, and it’s time to be myself
I’m aggressive by nature. Spent far too much time pacify myself.
Suicide is the only happy ending I will be able to get, and I do not fear death anymore
Society is nothing but a bunch of half-retarded sheep […]
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It’s been 7 weeks today since I woke up from my failed attempt. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression most my life. Since going to college it has gotten worse. This past semester, I was kick out of my suite because my roommates didn’t feel safe with me, because I got high twice. Of course having anxiety, I didn’t cope well with the change. I lost my best friend, I was struggling a lot and I just wanted to end it all. I took some pills, but I ended up waking up really sick. It was horrible. Things haven’t really gotten better. Everyday is hard […]
I had several really good days.. Until last night
Today is another day, I can’t shut my brain off, the thoughts circling around in my head I want to die.
Why don’t I just end it because I know how this works, I have a few good days and then they turn bad, very bad. I feel like the good days aren’t even worth living anymore because I never know when my mind is going to switch. I hate everything. I hate living like this. This isn’t a life, it’s just full of pain.
I’ve tried to die three separate times and needless to say, I’m still here. It seems like my pain has gotten worse this year. I truly feel like I’ve been cursed. I don’t trust ANYONE cause I’ve been used time and time again. It seems like the people that cause hurt and pain don’t suffer. I just can’t do anything right. No one cares or understands. Not looking for pity I just want to escape.
The time when I want to die the most is when I think about my friend MC. He kissed me twice, over a year ago, and I’m still so silently, painfully, in love with him over those unexpected kisses. They were unlike any experience I’ve ever had; I felt totally connected to him and complete within myself.
Now he’s getting married to someone else and we barely speak, and my marriage is falling apart for reasons other than MC.
The resulting depression is overwhelming and unbearable.
I keep searching from tarot cards to God to understand why I can’t get over MC, and every time the answer is simply ‘MC is not for you’. […]
it’s never ending .
I feel my self getting worse and worse every day.
I woke up sort of feeling good today . I wanted to kill my self this weekend but I didn’t. I feel selfish for wanting to give up my life , but I don’t know how to turn the pain off.
I went to my dental a class today and I feel like I’ve lost interest . I loose interest in everything. I’m not good at anything and I don’t really mean much to anyone . I haven’t made a impact . Everyone eventually fades out of my life .
Everyday I wake up with […]
Been trying to end it. all night. By using a scarf tied tightly around my neck and trying to sleep or just laying in bed, To suffocate, go unconscious, then finally death. Does anyone think this will work eventually? If I can make it tight enough. I can feel all the blood rushing to my head and it gets hard to breath, but I somehow get thru it. Any other simple ways to suffocate self to death. So desperate for an answer need to die tonight
I’m a 17 years old girl who has been living with a depression for 4 years now. Everyday, for that period of time, I’ve been having the lingering desire to end it all. I have been subjected to bullying and intimidation for most of my school life which pushed me over the limit so many times. I only found comfort in cutting over and over again. I would, and still do, keep shattered glass somewhere or a blade which I would throw away but somehow always end up having anyways.I still want to live, and look forwards to the having a futur but sometimes it […]
After reading several posts and bawling my eyes out and then registering for the sight i feel to tired to write the feelings i wanted to share in the first place. Im just so tired all the time and tired of being tired. I really want to start taking my meds but the streets are so busy on the way to the pharmacy. I get anxious just thinking about the trip. Why do i feel so much hate from people and why cant i go anywhere and know im safe and my belongings will be unmolested when i return. Instead i hide knowing i will […]
I hate my relationship I guess. I would not call it that. but being around him makes me hate my life. he wont leave. He lives with me because other wise he would be homeless. I cannot get a piece of mind. When I was homeless I still had to support him even though he was an ungrateful ass. I just want him gone I do not know what to do I feel like an emptied out shell. I want to die. I feel trapped in my own home. I have four jobs just so I do not have to be here with him. I […]
I’m not thinking rationally right now…the thing about being bi polar is it all hits you so hard so fast and you cant get away from whatever emotion is running you over and all i want to do is breathe help me please im drowning in me… I want to die please tell me no please tell me no its buring a hole in me i dont want this anymore please please please
I lost my soul when these two men came by on a Halloween night. I wasn’t afraid to walk alone, searching for some bathroom maybe close by the festival. They appeared out of no where and grabbed me in the corner of an isolated dead-end. The first one held a knife at my neck, telling me that if I made any sound, my life would end.
I lost my soul that night. Their filthy hands all over me, in my shirt, between my legs, in my pants. Their breath was smelling like alcohol and vomit. I tried to close my eyes so that I could maybe […]
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I don’t know what to do. I want to so bad, I want to just quit, but they called me selfish, they called me an attention-seeker and that’s just made it worse. I’m done. I’m giving up, giving in. I don’t care anymore. Why should I care what they say if I’m just going to die anyway? I’ve thought about it for three days now so don’t fucking tell me I can’t.
I don’t want to die necessarily… No, I can firmly say that in this very moment in time and space, I do not want to die.
However, I cannot firmly say what I want. I walk outside in the morning; I feel the dew settling on my face and the cool breeze that kisses my cheeks… I see the sun shooting tendrils of light through the light cloud cover, and I see the grass swaying with every breath of the wind. However, sometimes these things evoke nothing in this heart of mine. Nothing.
Now, you would think that feeling nothing would be a beautiful reprieve of the […]
I try, ….
I try to love and find the reason to stay, but every day that I woke up I feel this fucking pain,
theres something wrong with me….
since I was a child I felt that I dont belong to anyone or anything…
I got a lot of feeling on me, and i cant control them
I know you may feel the same…
Im so fucking tired to try, try to live, try to die, try to do something else, always trying to get over this situation, but there no way out,