Tag:

to die

Tired of My Toxic Brain

by filmg1rl 2/28/2016

written by filmg1rl

Last night I had two films I edited screen to a sold out audience of thousands and receive huge accolades. At the after party there was no shortage of people congratulating me and showering me with praise for my work. It was very fulfilling.

And yet, that night when I went to bed and the first thing I thought of in the morning was “I want to die.”

I can’t live like this anymore. It’s exhausting beyond belief and there really is no joy to be had. I swear, I only really got through the after party because of all the drinks I had. In fact, this […]

2/28/2016 1 comment

It’s not fair

by Ryder 2/28/2016

written by Ryder

We deserve the right to die with dignity. No adult should feel forced to live against his or her will. If a grownup really wants to die, there should be nothing denying him that right. I don’t want to risk surviving a fatal suicide attempt. I just want to die and be free from Earth. I’m tired of playing in the sandbox. I’m tired of the competition, mysteries, and hopelessness and I deserve a painless, easy death. We’re all going to die anyway and possibly lose everything, so why does killing oneself have to be so hard. I’ve thought long and hard about this and […]

2/28/2016 12 comments

Protected: Pain and triggers

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful) 2/28/2016

written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

2/28/2016 0 comment

I want to die

by zyia1031 2/27/2016

written by zyia1031

Hi,

My name is Zyia Tenaglia, I’m 14.For the past 3 years I have been struggling . Nothing is the same anymore , I’m not wanted, people make that very clear. My mom basically told me I’m just her unpaid babysitter . I lived a happy life with my grandmom , I lived with her almost all my life , until the judge made me and my older sister go to live with my mom. Huge mistake , he thought that if he let us go live with her she would change . She never did , she got worse . Everyday I am verbally abused. Words […]

2/27/2016 6 comments

I Can’t

by Ylem 2/26/2016

written by Ylem

I can’t take the pain anymore. Can my heart just stop beating already! I want to die… NOW!!!

2/26/2016 1 comment

Where does fantasy end and reality begin?

by Snow Fox 2/24/2016

written by Snow Fox

Hey all,

Hope everyone has been doing as well as can be, and I was just wondering if I could get some input about my recent thoughts/behaviors.

So as with most users on this site, I have struggled with suicidal thoughts and desires for a long time. Many of us even keep a possible means close by or have it recorded how/where we might get it. But my question is, where does the comfort/ideation of killing yourself turn into reality?

I’m not scared of dying, but at the same time, my mind getting my hopes up and then not having anything happening is also very tiring.

My situation is […]

2/24/2016 7 comments

Am I going to hell?

by jrmeador94 2/23/2016

written by jrmeador94

I had everything going for me before college. I grew up in a great family, we loved each other, and I had an awesome relationship with God. Seriously, he was my best friend. One of the things I couldn’t understand, though, was grace. How the hell could he put the sins of nations onto one man and just forget what we’ve done?

Im in college now. I wanted to die 5 times in the last 2 years. I just couldn’t make the pain stop. So I let go of my faith in God. I don’t really care about sin, being reckless, or being happy. The only […]

2/23/2016 9 comments

Depression is living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die.

by Luke2015 2/23/2016

written by Luke2015

2/23/2016 6 comments

by Drowning 2/21/2016

written by Drowning

What is the real meaning of life what is my purpose for being here it’s hard to live when your depressed let alone when your list for living and dying and you have more reasons to die then live I guess the only thing keeping me from trying again is the what if but what if things don’t get better and I’m just waiting around hoping I’m so tired and sleep isn’t helping just want to sleep for ever and disappear

2/21/2016 2 comments

1st time post.. to all sp’ers and to cordless

by wintersportnut 2/21/2016

written by wintersportnut

hello.. this is my very first post. I have been lurking since the day that twix started posting. She touched me quite deeply, and made me wish that I could leave, as well. I don’t really want to die, but I have completely forgotten how to live. I also have no energy to live. Since I started lurking I have read almost all the posts, they help me on a daily bases. Each one of you is perfectly unique. I especially enjoy the posts and comments of cordless. You are so careful with your words, and show amazing grace and humility. It will take me […]

2/21/2016 23 comments

Things that keep you going?

by chelle428 2/20/2016

written by chelle428

I just wanted to know some things that keep everyone going or make you feel better when you’re down and things of that nature?

Mine is my two horses who I love very much and my 7 year old nephew. When I’m down I also think of once when my nephew was asking me and my sister (his mom) if he would die one day and so we told him yes, but he had a very long time before he would ever have to worry about that and then he asked me if I would die one and I told him yes and he started crying […]

2/20/2016 18 comments

i want to die

by AMsquid 2/18/2016

written by AMsquid

no one cares whats the point i cant do this anymore

2/18/2016 3 comments

Divided

by curiouscat 2/18/2016

written by curiouscat

I’ve never had that great of a time living; abusive parents, bullied, a serious disability that makes life pretty hard in general and lot other things i’d rather not mention.

When i was younger i would consider killing myself every once in a while, but i was too afraid to actually do so. And If it weren’t for my fear of the outcome, i probably would have done it by now.

I’m too afraid of what the aftermath of my actions would be rather than actually dying itself. What people would do, what they would think of me, and what they might say worried me too much.

Of […]

2/18/2016 1 comment

The Fuck?

by Alan Ominous 2/18/2016

written by Alan Ominous

I’m a train wreck. Moods swinging on a damn pendulum. I’m happily depressed. I’m miserably excited.

I’m too alive to die, but too dead to live.

My brains churning out 60 ideas for things a minute. Simultaneously explaining why I’m a stupid piece of shit and deserve to die.

I’m getting so much encouragement here, but discouragement at home. I’m drawn to some of you like the insane idiot I am while compulsively closing myself from reality. I don’t know what the fuck I’m even saying.

2/18/2016 42 comments

twix this rainbow

by TheRiver 2/17/2016

written by TheRiver

Guess I’m going to “beat this dead horse” a bit more, sorry AgentQ.

Short sequence of events from approximately late o’clock last night/this morning:

– Put on some chill and somewhat sad music and decided to check SP (I like to be thematically appropriate, what can I say).

– Noticed that “twix this rainbow” had been blowing up the forum, post after post. Wondered what was up.

– Realized what was up.

– Read the posts from the beginning, tears occasionally springing up here and there.

– Thought and wondered for a bit, considering the possibility that the person whose words I had just read had died or at least had […]

2/17/2016 17 comments

Today…

by Ylem 2/15/2016

written by Ylem

I fucked up really bad. I messed up my presentation. I had a panic attack in class. It was so embarrassing.

I had to leave school early. I was sent home so I can pull myself together. I have an exam tomorrow. I don’t know how I’ll make it through that.

When I got home to tell my parents I had a terrible day, that I couldn’t concentrate in class, my father threw a fit.

He told me, I don’t have the right to feel terrible. All of the problems in my family are because of me. I don’t have the right to say things are hard for […]

2/15/2016 20 comments

To Let Myself Go

by bluerabbitheart 2/13/2016

written by bluerabbitheart

Well, here I am again, after a fairly long break… And once again, all I want is to die.

F**k. I can’t take this anymore. I’m out of ideas for how to make things better. I really have tried.

2/13/2016 2 comments

Frustrated

by dyinginny 2/12/2016

written by dyinginny

Lately I’ve tried to respond to posts here on SP and for some reason they don’t show up. Wtf? Even SP is rejecting me. I am at the end of my rope. I’m unemployed and can’t find a job and I’m going to run out of money soon. I’m scared and alone and freaking out. I just want to sleep forever and not have to deal with this nightmare called life. I wish I could find the strength to over come my fear of failing at my suicide attempt. The method I have access to takes about 24 hours and I’m scared of getting found […]

2/12/2016 9 comments

Posting too much.

by Alan Ominous 2/10/2016

written by Alan Ominous

I read the rules. I know I’m posting too much, or too often. I’ll probably get banned soon. Anyways, I just had an hour long conversation. With myself, using my voice, a Hispanic accent, and a possibly Swedish? Accent. Probably the best conversation I had this month. I’m so fucking lonely.

I know I’m just attention whoring. As my spouse puts it. Because I’m all about me. So there I said it. I care more about myself than I do about anyone else. I hate myself and want to die, so what good can I do anyone else.

2/10/2016 6 comments

Do you have to be mad to want to die?

by Batterypowered 2/8/2016

written by Batterypowered

A friend of mine said to me, “You don’t want to kill yourself boy. You have to be mad to do that.” It made me laugh, firstly because he has known me for years and still can’t accept I am not always the jovial, erudite man he meets down the pub. Secondly, I think suicide, far from being mad as a concept, is a totally logical response the the distress, disfunction and depression I experience.

Here is the argument. I have swung between depression and total mania since birth. The depression makes me agoraphobic, professionally and socially unreliable, totally disassociated and lacking all motivation. Depression destroys […]

2/8/2016 0 comment

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