Finished up my goodbye video today, probably a little prematurely. Still have to order my ******** tank, but what the hell? If I die of natural causes in the next few days I’m ahead of the curve.
Tag:
today
i hurt today very badly. but im trying to live. im trying to live.
I’m doing this today evening. Don’t know what to do now. I packed everything I’m gonna need (not much, I won’t have a lot to carry), now I just need to get dressed and then I’m leaving but I have no idea where and how should I spend all those hours until evening. Can’t talk to anyone today because I have a big mouth and I’d just tell them everything. I regret not finding a suicide partner a few days earlier, when I was thinking about it, a day spent with another person wouldn’t be so long and boring. I miss my friends so badly […]
That’s how long she’ll be in England for her internship. Just why. Every freaking time we went jogging it was more fun; and today was so great too, we ran together the whole time and laughed and had fun. And afterwards when I said goodbye and wished her luck for her trip I asked whether she was going to go jogging with us again when she’s back from England. She said “yes, probably” and that it’s 12 weeks until she’ll be back, as if she was expecting me to ask for her number or email or anything so we could talk or chat when she’s […]
i have had depression for as long as i can remember (even as a child i’d have these terrible mood swings but i don’t know what you’d class them under) but it got really bad when i was 12 years old. i am now 16 and if anything my depression has gotten a lot worse over these years.
i know that my life is not as hard as it could be but right now my family has barely enough money to get along, my parents are practically divorced with the way they act around each other and all i want to do is leave this […]
What a fine day to wake up grey. The color leached from me while I was asleep. I am the uncolored thing moving about the house today.
I want to see red. The only color left is underneath and sometimes I need to see it. I have an itch where the portal lies and I drink coffee and fantasize about opening it with a knife.
I’m sick of the masquerade that makes me invent little accidents to justify the damage to my exterior. Everyone knows I have to open up and let the color out every now and then. And despite the subtle brutality of […]
I’m sad to say i know you are the only ones who truly understand.
Today is the day didn’t think i could but yeah i can and will.
I don’t particularly like to sleep. Slept 7 hours last night, better than most nights. Guess I’m happy about that but my body is achey and tired and i want to stay in bed forever. Getting out of bed is the hardest thing in the world lately. just a few weeks of not getting up on time, not starting my day. My therapist tells me to be proud of myself for getting to work at all. I want to be, I do.
I don’t know what I want. Life doesn’t really seem to have a point. The last few years I’ve been operating on the idea […]
feeling like shit today. stayed homd alone all day and watched porn three times… feeling so disguisted with myself. All i want is to stop being so damn lonely… not even about just sex (although that would be nice) but just someone who loves me. blech 🙁
Lately, I’ve felt no emotion. My mind had put a serious lockdown on any type of feeling or emotion that I had. I did what was necessary to get through the day. Well..that is until today. Today, one of my “friends” pissed me off beyond belief. Now, I can feel every emotion that has been bottled up for weeks. I am in a downward spiral and I can’t stop.
Im new to this site but im hoping it will help me not feel so alone. Is there anybody out there who has ever cut? I’ve had a history of cutting for a few years, luckily I quit for the past year…. but today ended that. Old feelings came back and I added new scars to my body. I apologize if this sounds depressing. But is there anybody who can give me advice on how to quit once and for all?
I planned to go tonight. I have the pills ready. I honestly don’t know if I will or not. I had a partner last summer, we got ready together. She drove to my place (where I live with my mother in the middle of nowhere) to pick me up and we cuddled all night and talked and watched her favorite show. But on the day it was to happen, I backed out. She didn’t and sure enough her obituary showed up on the internet and her friends posted messages about her. She was part of a community who really misses her. I only have a […]
Well I feel today is the day I end my life. I just got rid of a person out of my life who was there but wasn’t much anymore. I made a promise awhile ago that I wouldn’t do anything to myself. Well I got rid of her out of my life that way she wouldn’t blame herself for this. So I feel it’s time I end it today. Thank you everyone for all the help and support
I am not a suicidal person, but this does make me sad. I have known this girl for 2 years, and throughout those 2 years I have slowly and slowly fell in love with her. If I were to rate how much I love her on a scale of 1-10 as of today, it would be an eight. Here is the problem though. She pains me and hurts me so much, but she doesn’t mean to. She doesn’t even know show does. She knows how I feel, and she always seems flirtatious, but then some other time she makes it seem like she’s doing it […]
I had court today for my divorce proceedings. We reached an agreement whereby I will keep the house and my daughter will not be uprooted. I am willing to postpone my departure date of August 8 to see how things pan out.
This post isn’t about having a bad day…It’s quite the opposite, actually! I’ve noticed that SP has become quite a staple in my life. Aside from one thing that set me off today, I’ve had a marvelously wonderful day. This is actually the first time that I’ve been happy for an extended period of time in…well, a long long time. I am currently content. I’ve begun to find some motivation to do the things that I need to when previously my depression had kept me from doing them.
SP, I owe you. I am happy.
You are strong and couragous
No matter what life throws at you
Always have courage and strength
You think that you don’t have a reason
to live
A purpose
Think again.
You say that you’re weak
not worthy
You are worthy
Have faith
Adversity may be at your door
Be ready to fight like hell.
Your life is a flower quickly fading here today gone tomorrow. If you need to talk add me on kik my username is AngelWarrrior16
I was addicted
To the cold knife blade piercing the delicate flesh of my wrist.
You ask why I didn’t tell you
You keep asking why I did it
Listen,
How can you judge someone if you don’t know
The Pain.
The Sorrow
The unending hell
In my addiction I felt disgusted with myself
I was falling deep inside the black
I saw no hope in my sight.
STOP ENOUGH IS ENOUGH
I was given a second chance
God Saved me.
My spirit free at last.
Now I stand here
still breathing still smiling
Listen, I’m a survivor and I can tell you that Suicide is never the answer when I tried to get help I was a subject of riticule and was […]
I have an old friend who deals with suicidal thoughts on occasion. He told me today he was going to kill himself over the weekend but postponed until Wednesday. I know he has tried before so I have every reason to believe him. He said he tells me because I won’t judge and suffer from the same thoughts and failed attempts. Granted I never give anyone a “warning” to put them in a position to act or have to make that decision. I agree it’s a personal decision but when you bring other people into the mix the dynamic changes. So what do I do? […]
My mother was here a week or so ago for my kid’s bat mitzvah, as were my friends. She called today just to say, “hi,” something she never does. Hmm…must be that since she was a narcissistic **** all weekend which was noticed by all, she now has to do some damage control. Sorry, not going down THAT rabbit hole. Not this time. Fucking ****.