I havent been in here in what seem like ages. I used to use this sight to escape my reality and let out all my anger and sadness. Since i last was on my world has turned upside down and I truly didnt know what true sadness was until a few months ago when my mom passed away. She is my EVERYTHING my life, my soul, mt breath and for a long time she was my reason to live. NOw I struggle everyday with finding a purpose for staying here on this earth. The thing that keeps me going is trying to live my life […]
If my nightmares come true. If he gets hurt and doesn’t survive. I do not want to live any more. If he doesn’t survive, neither will I.
I tried to sleep. But I couldn’t.
My thoughts are continuously racing in my mind. I can’t even sleep properly. I was extremely sad even in my sleep, even in my dreams.
So I wake up. And a thought came in my mind and I decided to share it. It was peaceful.
I know I can’t stop my suffering. I know this. I know there is no cure for me. But this is true that nothing is everlasting. Nothing.
Millions years ago dinasouras were here and now there are not. Billion years ago even earth wasn’t exist.
So here is the thing I want to tell you. I don’t know when, […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I’m a 22 and a senior in college. I have nothing to look forward to in the future. All of my friends have their planes ahead of them, me not so much. I have aspergers. (form of autism) and I don’t think my friends realize that. For example I literally feel like I’m a failure and I will be for the rest of my life. These past two months have been hard. Just recently my friend actually best friend had a confrontation. I hate confrontations because its just usually bashing me and everything I have done. Like they are graduating and I’m not and from […]
I am alive, I am alive, and that is the best that I can do
Golden-haired, golden-hearted; she was the most beautiful person I knew, and I drove her out of my life, out of my arms. “I can’t live without her” would be the appropriate, predictable thing to say, but the problem is, it isn’t even true. I can live without her. I know I can live through any pain, and I hate myself for it. I just want the peace that only comes with death.
Some men write letters to their unborn child
An expression of love in a world gone wild
If my life were to end before yours begins
I want to share my love and make amends
But my letter is not addressed to an unborn baby
But to an unfulfilled desire that someday, just maybe
A new life could have been created if I had been a real man
I’d have loved you and nurtured you and been your number one fan
I’d comfort and care for you and make everything alright
I’d even chase monsters from under your bed each night
I’d have found you the best […]
You are my bloodflow
If there is a god of death, would he be this merciful? I have only ever tried to be sane, to be true.
Ok, so I read a bunch of posts to day and it seems like many of you are angry and are enjoying calling people assholes (haha I love it). People seem to think that it’s not ok to get angry… that it’s not ok to express your frustration at a situation or at some dickhead who is ruining your day for no apparent reason other than his dickheadedness. So, lemme say this: if you have a justafiable reason to be angry, LET IT OUT. Don’t try and suffocate your true feelings with rainbows and carebears; grab your bat, swing at some trees, scream some fantabulous […]
I understand that many people have it worse, but I feel hopeless. I’m young, too young for my experiences, but on the cusp of adulthood. I’m supposed to be planning for my future, but all I can plan for is a way to make it through the day.
My mother is bipolar, my father is dead, my sister is severely OCD, my half-sister is a manic-depressive bipolar manic paranoid hallucinogenic schizophrenic alcoholic with severe and violent anger problems. Her two children, as well as all the others listed, live in the same household as me.
Of course with all of these illnesses in bound to have some […]
No I’m not your son and I’m not a total car guru and whatever works for your bipolar episodes doesnt always work for me and you pick on me all the fucking time and I already know, ok, I ALREADY FUCKING KNOW I’M THE WORLD’S GREATEST PIECE OF SHIT FOR A DAUGHTER SO PLEASE, PLEASE JUST KEEP RUBBING IT IN. I know I forget and I am not always home and I’m SO SO SO SORRY!! I don’t know how to be the child you want, ok?I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT I DONT KNOW I DONT KNOW. And I just try to get away […]
I’ve been feeling unwanted lately. I feel like no one cares. Although I try to convince myself that I am all I need, it never works because it’s not true. I just need to know that someone cares, someone actually appreciates my existence. I want to wake up one day and actually be glad I am alive. Be glad that I am living. Sadly everyday feels the same for me. Feel like I’m begging people to be in my life. I’m begging for support. Seems like I’m begging for everything. It’s difficult having no one around. I’m always there for people, sad part is no […]
I’m a doll. A toy. I am not alive. I have no emotions. I feel nothing. I am nothing.
If I keep telling this to myself, I wonder, will I finally stop hurting? Will I finally stop being so sensitive? If I keep telling this to myself, will I eventually believe it? Will it become true?
When will it end? Can’t I just become nothing? Can I not just be empty?
I don’t want to feel pain, or sorrow, or disappointment. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to feel lonely anymore. I don’t want to feel joy and happiness and excitement, when it just ends […]
I reached for a hand and found a paw.
This is so true for me.
http://anaoffer.com/paws-for-life
…but this song makes me feel so… clean-sad. i can just relate. so yeah.
“it takes getting everything you ever wanted, and then losing it, to know what true freedom is…”
“they have no idea what it’s like to seek safety in other people…”
Hello all, this is my first post..and it just so happens that I am a horrible writer. But, here goes. I am 19 years of age. My birthday is a month away. I’m not even excited about it. The one thing that I looked forward to everyday was waking up to see the love of my life. But ever since last year, depression has had a toll on both of us…we have a beautiful 9 month old son. He is my everything. I just can’t imagine my life without his dad. Last year around Christmas, it was he who tried to commit suicide. […]
The time I started writing this. You’re supposed to make a wish at 11:11. In some ways, I’m selfish. I wish for a lot of things when this time comes round. And so far, I don’t think any of them have come true.
I still don’t feel comfortable in this fucking body. My gender makes no fucking sense. Dysphoria is a *****, and with fluid gender it fucking suck, because my body and gender never quite match.
It’s stuck in my head that everyone hates me. No-one bothers with me anymore, I’m just that fucked up kid that people put up with because I’m friends […]
Today, for some reason, I could not stop thinking of her. I thought about her throughout the day as always, but when I got home, I napped and dreamed about her. After my nap the thought only got stronger. All I know is, I am never going to have her again the way we used to be… I’ll never forget when she told me, “…things aren’t going to be the way they used to be…” As much as I knew that was true, I didn’t want it to be. I wanted things to be the way they used to be but I ruined it. I […]
Not that it matters. Things were good for a while. I was still in a really dark place, but I had found a way of coping. I could deal with the day to day shit. Now I’m breaking again and no one can catch me. No one would want to. Ya know? I’m a burden. I hate that, but it’s true. I need someone to depend on. I’m needy. I’m a burden. I’m fucking helpless. I could explain my situation, but what difference would it make? Him.. Can’t ask him for help. That’s selfish. I’m clingy. I’m needy. I’m helpless. I’m a burden. Let’s stop […]
She knows not her true beauty, it astounds one to know that this magnificent beauty has no idea she is near angelic. Her skin a golden brown from long hours in the sun, her muscles toned from hours of exercise, soft auburn hair, and a face fit for a princess. This woman’s beauty permeates to the very depths of her soul, although few have ever seen it. A kind word from her is enough to intoxicate most men, and they often fall madly in love with her. Some men even revere her as a goddess
Yet she refuses to see beyond the scars she swears ruin […]