the deepis thorts of mine are just so well fuckt up cant some one be the sergun and cut the infectid part of my sole out i whant some one to shoot the guy in my head i whant to be free i whant to live not be like this imagen if some one stumbulld in to are world and saw the truth if thay feelt the pane we do woud thay be abel to take it are we stronger cos of the pane we feel i whant to think that imagen if some one did thow wecom to the iland of broken toys all […]
Well, I finally found my first relationship, at the age of 26. It really did help me to find peace. It’s actually been really nice to have the first time in my life, and I mean this entirely literally, that I didn’t think about suicide every single day. It slowly drifted back, a little, but only just barely, and only just a few time every couple of weeks or so. It hasn’t been terrible. I have realized some things, that I had already considered, but I am far too old a soul for all these senseless children. My boyfriend, and just for the sake of […]
Just told my ex, that’s also my best friend, that I’ve lied to him. Luckily he wasn’t mad at me, actually, he understood it. I was really glad with that. But the thing I really wanted was not saying it to my ex. That I shouldn’t done it, because I never lied to him. That’s what I really wanted, but it’s not the truth. I have so much regret of all the times I lied to him, my parents or anyone else that’s close to me. I have lied so much that it almost felt like my life was a lie. I’m trying to lie […]
Hello everyone ! I’m doing this project i call ‘Tell me your story’. I did a facebook page & a blogspot. But I need YOUR help to make this work.I want to provide a way for everyone to interact with each other. This is how it works. You tell me your story, I tell everyone else. You could be known or stay on anon. It’s all up to you. What matters is that your story will be heard. People will know that you exist. You will leave a trace that you once existed. You will help other not do the same mistakes you did or […]
I’m such a hypocrite.
I talk big about staying positive and happy, yet I can’t find my own reasons for this. I’m literally so stressed out right now that I feel like I should just end my own life to end all this pain and torture.
Anything I ever do isn’t good enough. Whether it’s getting good grades, getting accepted to a good university, or to winning a sports tournament, nothing is good enough for my parents.
I’m a lazy person. That’s just who I am. A 17 year old girl that’s at the end of her senior year, who’s lazy and likes to lay in bed or […]
I never knew how much I hated to hear the truth until now. I got internet at my house about a month ago, and my father just told me, “I knew this was going to happen when we got internet. You spend 95% of your time on the computer.” I told him, “There’s nothing else to do.”
When I didn’t have internet and had all that free time, I wasn’t too safe. That’s when drugs, sex, and just plain outrageous and irrational things came into play. I wonder which one my father would rather have me do: stay on the internet all day, or go out […]
This was originally a much longer post.
Until I saw other people getting responses whilst you cunts ignored ME.
Thanks for proving me right. There’s no one who gives a fucking shit about me here, either.
Fucking cunts.
The strangest and weirdest thing about recovery is comparing who you are now to who you were before. It is also one of the most amazing and yet bitter-sweet and almost heartbreaking things.
About a year ago, the suicidal thoughts fully took hold of me, they’d been there for a year or maybe more, but I’d been preoccupied with various other things and hadn’t really given the idea of taking my own life very much thought. But for whatever reason, last March I became completely filled with a desire to fall off the face of this earth. To begin with, it was a case of wanting […]
Nobody WANTS to understand.
Society’s just a big shambles.
Everybody cares when you’re dead.
What’s the point?!
“Can the lonely take the place of you?”
I’ll forever be fine in your eyes. I don’t hurt. I don’t cry. I don’t cut my skin. I don’t want to die. I’m not unhappy.
I don’t think about killing myself every single moment of every single day.
“We’re all lying to the mirror, lying to ourselves.”
My boyfriend broke up with me a couple weeks ago, and I feel like crap.
Everyday I see him around, he’s flirting with another girl.  It hurts so much
to know he has already moved on and I still haven’t. I feel like my heart
has been ripped in half. Everyone keeps telling me to move on, that he’s not
worth it. But every piece of advice they give me I start missing him even more.
I stopped eating like I used to. I eat at least one meal a day sometimes I don’t
eat at all. I can’t […]
Everyday is getting tougher. I’ve not only lost the family I created with my wife but I can’t seem to find anyone who cares for me. I’m a fat ugly slob who sleeps with prostitutes so he can feel the tiniest shred if intamacy. I am trying to belong to a world that I don’t fit into. Not that I am trying to fit into any particular category that people try to identify themself with. I just don’t fit in anywhere. I am truly a misfit.I can make friends , laugh and pretend to have fun but its ultimately lacking truth and substance. I feel […]
We all have felt the pain of this cruel world. Bullies, insensitive adults, ridiculing teachers, and so much more. This is a pain that seems to last forever. Truth is, it really does. I still can remember the pain I felt when I was bullied in elementary school. No matter how many cuts and bruises we take, we will never feel a relief. I love to feel the bite of any razor, and even cut over the same cuts over and over. Still though, over time the pain I recieve from these cuts dwindle more and more over time. My body now ridden with dozens […]
False praise kills. Â I am told often that I am talented blah, blah blah. Â I can’t believe this. Â To do so would be arrogant. Â My inner circle does tell the truth. Â Significant other does not touch me because I am too fat for his liking. Â I was a size 00 when we met. Â I now wear a 2. Â He says he can only love me if I am thin and blonde. Â He says I am stupid. Â I’m in a doctoral program because at one time I wanted to prove to him that I was not as stupid as he says I am. Â Â There are […]
I’ve struggled with major depression for several years. The time between feeling some level of normal and giving anything for death to free me from this is getting shorter and shorter. In November, I argued with my shrink and therapist that this is my life, and to not allow me from release from the pain was unethical. After when animals suffer, they are put down. No one else knows how depressed I really am. I mask it very well- I go through the motions of a life while feeling nothing but wanting to be dead. If this […]
i dont know how can i love you
when im broken from inside
i dont know how can i show you love
when i never showed it wiseÂ
i dont know how can i feel your love
and call you mine
i dont know how can i give you all my love
when im so afraid to have you in my life
yes i remember the first time i was in love
i remember all those feeling with a significant touch
but i bleed and bleed so hard
why did you leave […]
I’m Pathetic.
To Care So Much For Someone That I Went Suicidal.
I’m A Attention Whore For Telling People How Hurt I Am Or That I Hurt Myself.
I’m Scared Of What I Might Become…
The Only Person The Kept Me Stable Told Me The Truth.
That I Already Knew…
It Hurt To Hear It From That One Person Though…
Everyone Leaves You…
And Sometimes You End Up Just Wanting To Be Your Own Friend; I Am My Own Friend.
Its Hurts To Hear Her Say Everything.
Cause Shes The Same Way…
And That Night I Almost Went Suicidal…
I Had The Pills On The […]
~Broken~
When will you learn?
That I am not always going to be there
For you to vent you’re anger on,
That I am not a toy to you,
And you will push me to the brink
I will hurt, over and over,
Cutting deeper and deeper
Until everything in me is ruined,
Until I have hurt so much it isn’t possible to hurt any more.
When will you try?
To help me
To stop hurting me
To make me feel like I was supposed to be born
To help me not be afraid
Of you,
Of trusting you,
Of loving you,
’cause I can’t survive the destroying of my heart
I won’t always be able to pick up the pieces,
To mold them […]
Is life even worth living anymore?
I have been trying, struggling against suicidal thoughts. I have been getting help, but it is still not working. I am scared, scared that I won’t live to become a teenager (I am not yet in my teens). I cry and cry and try to tell my friends, but I’m scared of their reactions. I hate myself because I am not strong enough, they are so strong, no matter what happens, they don’t think of suicide. But me? I can’t stop thinking of it. I am scared and hurt and I need help but I am too afraid to […]
.I feel so depressed, I feel like i’m becoming emotionally and physically weaker! I just feel so dull and sick that I don’t even want to wake up in the mornings and feel like i have no hope :'( No one accepts me the way i am and I have become a bit boring since my depression. Idk if its because of that or not though…=( Gahh sorry for being dramatic but i feel very bad nowadays I’ve been lonelier than ever before as my self-proclaimed “best friends” don’t even message me or call me or anything. I understand that I go to a different […]