I would never do it… But i just dont get why we are here. Whats the point of this when theres so many things going on in the universe.whats the point of us being here?.we are insignificant in the big picture…just little specs…its just weird
Tag:
Universe
Is it apathetic?
Indifferent?
Or is the universe dreaming about us?
I really want to believe that it’s dreaming. If it’s all a dream, then the horrific things that happen on a daily basis are the result of the universe eating some really bad sushi before it went to sleep.
My days don’t do anything but get harder n harder.
I’m not sure if the universe is at fault or I am.
I just know the tangible feeling of hate all to well. Its sooo lovely. Kind of like an aphrodisiac.
I just know for years I have been tasting the salty dissatisfaction of my own tears to the point where crying being extinct. Only to lead to crying feeling needed, strained, feeling, having feeling, much better than an orgasm. No one knows the severity.
It`s kind of funny, really. I guess the universe really does want me to die. I didn’t really think it could get any worse, but I should have learned by now not to say that.
School was lonely enough with friends, but now even they have been taken. If there ever was something to live for, it would be for my friends.Oh well I suppose it`s for the best. I was ptobably going to off myself anyway, and now they won`t have to feel bad about it.
I guess I really am meant to die. Well, as soon as I have my room cleared out, good byes […]
It’s gradualy filling up.My heart is turning jet black,I just feel it.It always felt so empty but now the void is replaced with hatred and disgust.Hatred for my own kind.Hatred for myself most.I’m such a trash.A trash that live in this dump called earth.A dump filled with being I consider trash as well,all piled up together.
I just can’t feel contempt,I can’t be happy here.The only thing that kept me here so long are video games,pathetic as it may.I’m tired of wasting every days away on those stupid games so my poor little self don’t have to think about anything.I achieve nothing everyday.
I just hate humankind.
I […]
Life is just luck of the draw
I wish I was luckier. Life has been going down hill for such a long time, and honestly I’m not sure I can endure.
I’m growing so tired, even my health is declining. I feel so sick, and I’m only 18
Life doesn’t seem to hopeful, and its not just because I’m young,
everything in this world is controlled by might, by power, and I, have no power
Sure, everything is in the mind, illusion and manipulation, but honestly I’m so tired
This world is full of the mindless, the uncaring and ignorant
So many horrible things are […]
I bought a rope and there’s a bridge not far from where I live ..
I’ll be waiting for my intuition to tell me it’s time to go through with it
I’m tired of living just because others want and expect me to
I’m tired of living to preserve my relatives precious bubbles .. I’ve almost reached my breaking point
I’ve been trapped (1) in a body and (2) in this world for too long
I’ve lost interest in figuring out what my purpose is (assuming there’s even one)
my presence on here must be an error, I have no choice but to fix it
once I’m dead: no more struggles, […]
Once when wanting to die I got ememensely drunk. Left what I couldn’t drink of my pay check on the bar and walked till I found a woods and found a wood pile and buried myself at the bottom. I didn’t want to die in a sudden gory way that was definitive. The worst on the people that knew me is that they would occassionally wonder where in the world I might be. The best is some wild life would have a good feast.
It would have made things easier now if I hadn’t woken up with the solitary need to get warm. I have been catapulted […]
I have had enuff of this world and all the shit it brings. I’ve had enuff of trying so hard only to be shoved down again! I’ve had enuff of not living just surviving. I’ve had enuff of crying myself to sleep. I’ve had enuff of cutting my arms and legs. I’ve had 15 years of this shit. This is my goodbye to this cruel ass fucked up universe. Deuces. This rope is my exit strategy
…about life, the universe and everything, send me a mail at
anon46 [.at.] lavabit [.dot.] com
I’ve got various instant messaging accounts, but I prefer plain old e-mail or google talk.
If you happen to live nearby (although that is highly unlikely), I’d even go out with you for a coffee…
I’m not even afraid of dying. I think I’ve proven that much. No, I’m afraid of failing again. I can’t look everyone in the eyes while laying in a hospital bed again. Call me heartless, but idc what happens after I die. It’s the failing I can’t do again. It seems so easy to die. Every day theres stories on the news about someone who died quick and unexpectedly. Yet when I try, its slow and ineffective. It’s not fair. I’m no stranger to death. But he refuses to take me. I wish he’d take me. But all he does is sabatoge me. No firing […]
the human species is a species I do not belong to, yet I am part of it
I feel like an alien soul that was dropped off on earth to observe humans,
and that my people have forgotten to come pick me up .. neglectful bastards
on one hand, I’m tired of routine: my days are too similar to not get bored
on the other hand, I find lots of comfort in knowing what to expect .. I’m bored to death but at least I feel safe
(safe from what ?)
I must be missing out on a lot of experiences by being very withdrawn
but since there’s a lot of deceit […]
it will always be the person you least expect,nomatter how many times you dye your hair, or change your appearence,your still you and your nothing special, not like everyone els,life is overrated,so whats so special about making the best outa having nothing, having noone,being used consinly, every time you stick your face out the front door, you fail to make it any futher,everytime you stick your face out the front door, someone says there your freind, but they aint,they either use you, or call you once and find you worthless enough to never answer or call you again,the only person that has ever made me […]
Yesterday was a bad day. I woke up feeling okay, but then suddenly the sadness hit and I descended into the darkness again, thinking dangerous thoughts yet feeling dangerously numb and empty. I ended up lying in my bed for hours, too exhausted to move and too empty to cry, but too sad to sleep. Eventually, I got myself out of bed and tried to shake the sadness. I ended up in my kitchen, heating up a pizza. I couldn’t eat more than a few bites- it wasn’t exactly that I wasn’t hungry and I’m not dieting, it was just that I found the act […]
Not at all sure if this makes sense to anyone but me:
I feel completely trapped in this world at times, and I don’t mean that purely metaphorically.
What I mean is that I feel stifled by earth itself, and the way it’s unescapable.
I want to jump of the earth and into the universe, if that makes any sense.
Our world just feels too small and restricted.
No matter how far in the world I travel, it will never be far enough.
Because I’ll still be on earth.
I want to be in the galaxy, amongst the stars.
By that I mean literally.
I don’t mean that I want to die in order […]
Thing about it: You had to have been given a mind, a thought pattern, personality, a unique body, something that defines you as YOU.
Everything you’ve ever done, I think you were destined for, the good, the mistakes,…
If you really think about it, If you were anyone one else, you would have their mind, you would feel what they feel, maybe you would have their spirit.
If any given person transformed into you, my guess is they would act the exact same, in that body.
My point is: You really have no control over who you are, how you think, so this is a reason why you shouldn’t […]
I figured out a way to live and be happy, but it still feels so valueless so fuck it. I keep moving forward in my life, making progress, but none of it matters to me. I keep thinking about the universe and how meaningless existence. All that exists here only exists here, the rules and thoughts and colors and laughter; all this bullshit is on this stupid rock, Earth.
It’s all bullshit, emotions/feelings, was over me but never become part of me. I don’t get it. I don’t get why I seem to be the only one around me aware of the fatal flaws in the […]
I have thought a lot about one of the reasons I am so lonely, and realize that I believe in all the beautiful things. I love the way the sky looks on a clear night, or the colors in a sunset, or a peaceful forest during the day. Most people in modern society find those things ‘corny’, or ‘sappy’, and would discount them or those who believe in them. I am lonely because I made a choice to love those beautiful, strange, slightly-spiritual aspects of the universe. It feels like this way of life leaves one completely alone, which is true save the select group […]
I’ve been waiting to die a horrific death ever since I was six. I would pray that during thunderstorms, I would be struck by lightning and go into a c0ma. I knew that my family was to poor to keep me in the coma and they would just let me die. It has never happened but I am very jealous of the people who get hit and survive. What a waste of a lightning strike. Every time I stepped into a car, I hoped a drunk driver would swerve directly into my side of the car leaving everyone unharmed but me. That’s why I refuse to wear a seat-belt, […]
there, I said it.
took long enough too
sometimes I wonder why I bother at all trying to chase my petty little ambitions. especially when i’ve flagged myself to fail before i’ve even started. and then one day i’ll just die and everything i ever did will fade anyway.
same for every other guy out there.
story of human life. appear for a spell. rot. and then the earth will be burnt up by the sun.
maybe we’ll escape that (doubtful). so we go hop galaxies or something.
but then maybe one day the universe will run out of stars.
and then everything will go cold.
what the hell is the point.