There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
my mom noticed the long scar on my arm when i rolled my sleeve up a little to wash my hands. god did i panic. i told her my friend’s cat scratched me ages ago and that it was my fault since i bothered it… i think she bought it but christ was i scared. i didn’t want another sobbing lecture about how selfish i am and how much i need jesus. (or worse, another expensive visit to the ER.)
hey does anyone here play fire emblem fates? it’s been good at keeping me distracted from suicidal ideation. i love a good […]
Here I am just like before
Siting on the bathroom floor
I said I wouldn’t
But I’m a little *****
Now that I’ve told you
Don’t be a snitch
The bleeding won’t stop
You’re gonna want a mop
I’ve never cut this deep
But don’t you say a peep
Say I ran away, this is our little lie
Pretend I didn’t tell a soul goodbye
As I sit in lonely silence
I realize my violence
I look to see my scars
And I wish upon the stars
For something simply brighter
Than trying to be a fighter
I’ve never felt so tired
It was you that I admired
You left me in the dust
When I thought that I could trust
All you said were lies
So I gave them a disguise
My immature mind
Made me think that you were kind
I would make this the end
But I feel I should defend
All the things you said
Didn’t want me to be dead
I know I love you […]
Why am I so honest with my psychiatrist?
I tell the truth most of the time. They ask about suicidality, and I tell the truth. I don’t want to be here anymore.
They ask about homicidal thoughts, I say yes. Forgive me but there are people I so want to kill… Slowly. Painfully. Enjoy hearing them scream in agony. Enjoy watching them suffer. I want to look deep into their eyes as the light fades from them and they suck in their last breath. I hate them that much.
I always have a smile on my face. I’m like Ted Bundy. The charming psychopath. I told the doctor […]
So here’s my last post for the night… Here have some lyrics a song by Marilyn Manson Originally by Eurythmics
Sweet dreams are made of these
Who am I to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for somethingSome of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abusedSweet dreams are made of these
Who had a mind to disagree?
Travel the world and the seven seas
Everybody’s looking for something
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by […]
I’ve struggled with depression, insecurity, and severe anxiety disorder for as long as I can remember. My first appointment with a therapist occurred when I was 10 years old, I’m currently a sophomore in college. My depression comes and goes but I feel like it’s just been around for a while this time and it’s worse than ever before. I’ve never really struggled with suicidal thoughts, until just recently. The thing about it is: I do not want to die, I just have no desire to live. I don’t truly believe I could go through with killing myself, but I can’t stop thinking about it. […]
I’m sick of being bullied everyday for not being good enough for not bowing down to what everyone says. I’ve lost control of life but I don’t want to get back in control of life. I want control of death and finally end it all. Five attempts should say enough. Anyone feel the same?
(EDIT): I have my story (all 5 of them) I’m sure you have your’s…. I’ll share if you share 🙂
I’m not sick of feeling the way I feel, I’ve grown use to it and I have welcomed it and I now embrace it with every fiber in me. […]
so right now I can’t die haven’t got the right method found the location equipment etc don’t want to live like this no more depressed anxious putting on weight suicidal proberly won’t sleep from insomnia bla bla bla can life get any shitter Oh yes it can just a matter of time before God give me that kick in the teeth to try harder why couldn’t of the overdose worked I feel as if I’m going to be pushed to a method which I don’t want to do but feel I have no choice
I know this for many years but I constantly forget it. When I was 16 I wrote a poem about wearing a perfect mask being perfect on the out side as I died inside.
And I forgot that all I am is a doll for famliy do what they want when they want it. My husband I am toy for I enjoyment that’s all ,my in-laws A robot.
I should be dead the amout of Close calls should have left me dead .
But I realized a long time ago I am worthless shell who has to be dead inside to make everyone happy. Cry myself to sleep […]
This will probably turn into a rant or something, oh well.
I’m terrified of everything. The voices won’t leave me alone. They want me to do things, and I know I’m going to end up doing them. They want me to jump from a bridge, or a building, now. They say bad things will happen if I don’t. I don’t want to hear them anymore. They scare me.
I still haven’t saw my doctor, there weren’t any appointments last week. I don’t know when I next see my therapist, and I see my psychiatrist on the 12th (the Angels haven’t been saying she’s much of a threat […]
My Heart And Other Black Holes is the book that led me to this site today… Last month I overdosed twice and ended up in hospital. I still want to die. I am scared. I don’t even know why I am posting this on here. I guess I am just getting my thoughts out.
If you don’t hear from me tomorrow I’m sorry. At least my profile will still be here. At least there is something left behind of me. Something someone can look back on. At least I know I will be missed by everyone here. At least I know you guys care. But it’s not enough right now. If I’m heard from by tomorrow night, I made it through tonight. I imagine them waking up in the morning to find my corpse hanging in the bedroom. I imagine what they would do or say. I hope I can watch them cry. I hope I can see their […]
Hi my dear friends… i love to talk about happy things sometimes.. If any of my pals want to join me..
bigticketman33@ gmail . com
I don’t want to do this anymore. Life. Tears. Etc. I’m not going to harm myself, but dammit. Something needs to change. I need to change. My brain. I’m so tired of feeling like this. I just want to die. I can’t take it anymore!!!!
I’m so glad this site exists. I would have no idea how to express myself otherwise. I’m even talking with my dearest friend right now and he also so suffers from depression. I feel like telling him how I feel, but I just don’t want to burden him. I feel like asking him for help, even though I know he can’t […]
i was accepted to Stanford.
everyone is happy.
So why not me?
pressure pressure pressure
I don’t want to go to medical school.
I don’t want to live other people’s expectations, dreams, morals.
So
i
left.
Heading towards Oregon and I’ve never felt so free.
Ive been suicidal my whole life.
All I wanted was freedom and it was waiting for me right outside my door this whole time.
I finally listened to my instincts and went against odds.
The only thing I want to say to people who are unhappy- is just to do what’s makes you happy on your our own means.
follow your instincts.
Im free
and so the adventure begins.
My stepdad is an asshole. I saw my therapist today, and she said to try different things to distract myself from the voices and such because they’ve been bad lately, so I thought I’d attempt to watch TV for an hour or so with my mum and stepdad. It is something I regret even thinking of, and it has made everything so much more worse.
Despite sitting basically mute, with the one off offer of a cup of tea, my stepdad yelled at me within 45 minutes. My dogs had just been outside for the sixth time in the space of 15 minutes, and I was […]
To play a game or something? I think it would be nice to think of an interactive game to play on the forum. Something to get our minds off of things.
We can do mad libs?
I will start, you will need to fill in these blank spaces first. Then transfer them to my short story. Copy and paste so we can all see what you came up with?
A Name _____
A Time _____
Adjective ______
Noun ______
Name again (the same as the first) _____
Verb ending in ing _____
Verb ending in ing _____
Noun _____
Noun _____
Verb _____
A Place _____
Another place _____
I woke up next to a name, today at a time. I’m thinking […]
Rant time.
i want to die I am completely useless and worthless I can’t do shit like my mother in laws says im shit junk dumb im shit im shit . i hope i die. Worthlessness worthless worthless worthless