Should I take a nap? I am a little stressed/depressed. Not sure which one came first. I feel angry that the world is the way it is and I am the way I am. People get all of these diseases through genetics and it just isn’t fair that you made us this way. You give us purpose to solve these medical problems, but would it not have been easier on us to just enjoy your world and each other. Thank you for allowing me to cry. I felt somewhat better for a few minutes, but I still feel the same level of stress. It’s still […]
Some day I will be able to:
Be free
Live on my own
Be who I want to be
Live far away from my mom
Be happy?
Let’s be real, I will never be happy. I can never be free because I am trapped to my mentally ill mother. I am all alone. My stomach is in knots and I can’t seem to stop the anxiety and the emotions that come with the thought of killing myself. I will never be able to “stomach” the situation that for the last 16 years I have been put through. My life is never going to change. I am trying to do the best […]
15 16 in march I’ve been depressed cutting suicidal I cut on the 11th thinking of doing it again mean family my dad hit me with a belt because I drank some of his wine because I was depressed I am lonely for the most part 2/3 good friends but not always there. I was planning on killing myself in october on a cruise I don t know how to swim 6 months away. I stopped taking my depression meds they don t work and made me gain 40IB my dad still wants me to take it I have counseling twice a month I was […]
We are all doomed to die sooner rather than later, why not just end it now? Seems to save the hassle of spending every day feeling nothing but loathing yourself. Saves the daily heartbreak of knowing no one could ever love you. With the pull of a trigger or a step off a building it could all end. Yet for some reason I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m that much of a coward. And its not the pain that scares me, its surviving. What could be worse than surviving such a traumatic event? The possibility of actually being able to see your family […]
Don’t you hate it when you’re so certain you want to go, and you meet someone new and they fuck it up?
Someone new and interesting who actually wants to get to know you.
I want to leave but I want to speak to you more.
So confused.
Loneliness is the worst part of all of this. I feel like no one truly knows me, like I can’t be truly honest to anyone. My family knows some parts of me, the only guy I’d call a real friend knows some other parts, you guys know still other things about me and there’s stuff that no one knows. There’s things I can only talk about with my family, some things only with my friends, some things only via SP and some things I can’t tell anyone. It’s like my personality is split in many parts, and whoever I am depends on who I am […]
Sometimes when you go with it you get out of it, it’s like it has a mind of its own, and brings you up or down whenever it wants.
When I said that I felt absolutely nothing, it was a lie. I did feel I just ignored it and refused to face the reality before me. I’ve made and still make poor decisions and I’m lost and confused and don’t know what the right thing to do is. I fell out of love with my ex the only guy I fell completely in love with. The whole process was excruciating but I finally realized I needed to let go. Just because I don’t love him anymore doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt, because it does still hurt. Remembering all the good and all the […]
I just need to vent and would like some advice. I’m just trying to get back on my feet, I had lost everything, was living in shelters and on the street for a while……then someone took me in. Turns out, they were big time pot heads, not that I’m totally against it, but I got sick of worrying about losing the apartment because they spent half of their money on weed. And I was tired of not having food or a bed. So my aunt offered that I stay with her…..my gut told me no, but I thought it’d be the smart thing to do, […]
My whole life I’ve felt that I will never live to anyone’s expectations and I haven’t. My sister is really smart and has this good life with her boyfriend, my dad wants me to follow her. I tried but I can’t, I can’t just go through school like it’s nothing I actually have to work unlike her, and I will never marry a guy because I’m gay and I kinda have a fear of men. So no matter what I know I will never be good enough, I wish I wasn’t a coward and hurry up and pull the trigger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OA1Xvgauffc
Let me begin to say that my stomach is in knots. Just the thought of killing myself makes me want to throw up, yet all I think about is killing myself. The fact that I will never be happy and “normal” (if you must use that word) again frightens me. I want to get better so badly and yet I am still the same person who won’t ever do well in life, I am always going to be the person I have always been. A monster, a monster is the best way to put it because I scare everyone and my sadness and feelings I […]
I have no friends. I have a fiance, who doesn’t understand depression. Who I cant really talk to. I wouldn’t want to tell him how bad I feel. Nobody really wants to hear our sad sob stories. You have to get it out though.
My whole damn life, like everyone else I guess, I have always thought, I don’t need to worry about doing blahblah, idk, drugs, too much sun, my credit. We’re all supposed to die before the repercussions of our poor decisions happen. Well I’m living proof, they are coming. I didn’t die at 18, 21, 25, 30. The brain damage from drinking, or […]
why is that I am always that last kid to be picked for gym of for a group project the teacher has to put me into a group and everyone has to hate on me because they were happy with their friends before I showed up.. I am always such a burden to everyone. Even my mom says that I am a burden. So why am I still here if no one gives a damn about me? and being the last pick of the bunch or the “thing” that no one wants. I am the ugly duckling and no one really gives a damn. I […]
You did say that if my right hand caused me to sin, then I should cut it off than to have my whole body thrown in hell. But the thing is, I never said I want to be a part of any of your divine agenda–I never agreed to be born, and to put someone in this nightmare they cant wake up from, is an act of pure evil.
You caused me great pain from the day that I was born, and all I am worth is hell. WHat other unthinkable ways of torture have you thought of throwing at me in the future and in my life […]
I don’t know what to do I try and explain how I’m feeling to friends and they just say your fine. But I don’t feel fine. Most people see me and a nice funny smart person and wouldent think I’m depressed but I can’t eat I throw up the meal a day I way I can’t sleep . I don’t get it I need help but no one seems to care I honestly lost the thing that kept me going but what do I have now a family that honestly doesn’t care for me I don’t know what to do anymore I haven’t eaten for […]
…Charlie Chow Mein. His fees are reasonable…some daily catnip and treats. And food. Lots of food. Fresh water. Belly rubs. Ear rubs. Toys. A $300 cat post(ikr! It was on sale for half price) that reaches the ceiling and takes up most my living room. Attention whenever he wants it. And I have to share my food. He likes deli meat, vegetable crackers and coconut flavoured yogurt. So worth it though. He keeps all my secrets, lets me cry all over him, he feels nice to […]
Found out yesterday my father is leaving my mother (with three children). He fell in love with a co-worker half his age, a few years older than me. He just took his clothes and left without telling his children. He want going to tell mom either. My mom finally confronted him….And asked him if what she silently hoping want true was real. He admitted top being in love with someone else and just left. This just happened. Happy 2015. My dad isn’t an abusive alcoholic junkie asshole. He had his problems sure like we all do but […]
Why do I deal with him?? Like am I really that stupid to continue to talk to someone who only wants me to talk sexual to him and when I don’t he flips out or confesses his feelings for me to try to get me to give in. Or he just randomly flips out on my because I like a guy and comes up with this horrible flaw about them when he is really describing himself. He makes me feel like complete shit 99.9% of the time. Why do I allow myself to go through that?? And why can’t I say this to […]
Hi guys. So after living with my grandparents for a month, I thought my mom would finally cool off and be like a normal person you know. I came home on the Christmas Eve. She was fine. We hugged and she was normal and I started acting normal. I thought we were fine. The next day she was still fine. Then the third day she got irritated with everything I do again. The fourth day she didn’t even talk to me that much. Today is the fifth day which is 29 of December. She got angry over a small thing like why I never try […]
I feel that I have to hide a side of myself, that I have to pretend to be a person that I am not because it seems that society views people that suffer from a mental illness as being social outcasts, people that are dangerous or viewed as being weak.
It takes so much effort and energy just to exist. But, it seems that most people don’t see that effort as being enough. They don’t see that I’m giving 100% of myself to just be alive; they don’t see the daily struggle. To be a “normal” person I have to give so much more than 100%. It is entirely […]