Tag:

wants

The Stigma of Mental Illness

by QuixoticNomad 12/28/2014

written by QuixoticNomad

I feel that I have to hide a side of myself, that I have to pretend to be a person that I am not because it seems that society views people that suffer from a mental illness as being social outcasts, people that are dangerous or viewed as being weak.

It takes so much effort and energy just to exist. But, it seems that most people don’t see that effort as being enough. They don’t see that I’m giving 100% of myself to just be alive; they don’t see the daily struggle. To be a “normal” person I have to give so much more than 100%. It is entirely […]

12/28/2014 1 comment

I Just Don’t Get It

by CrimsonDream 12/28/2014

written by CrimsonDream

I just don’t get life. I try to change myself to make me feel better and the people around but it only lasts for such a long time. I broke up with my boyfriend so he could do better but apparently he needs the support from someone because he’s a dependent person. And I am not. I just don’t get how he gets mad every single time I meet some new guy or something, I’m always telling him that I love him and I try to show it as much as I possibly can but it just doesn’t seem to work. And I’ve told him […]

12/28/2014 7 comments

I love you, little one ????

by grievinggabby 12/23/2014

written by grievinggabby

I feel horrible about myself. I was very depressed before I got pregnant. It was to the point to where i was using hardcore drugs. But i knew if i wanted to be with the person I’m in love with, i had to do better. Because he’s a good boy, and he only wants the best for me. So I did, got sober, but I was still very depressed. So i started using again and hid it from him… Then I found out I was pregnant and it was very difficult to stop. I am still very depressed, and I’m worried that once my son […]

12/23/2014 7 comments

A Humble Helper

by Procel 12/22/2014

written by Procel

I was once a very active user on this sight, It was here I came when I was at my lowest point. I came here, like i believe many others did, in search of a good, solid method and also a partner. In my worst moments this sight was there for me, when nothing else was, when there was no one to talk to in my life this place offered a sympathetic ear that both understood my thoughts and offered no judgment, only advice, support and love. I have met some of the best people on the world here. Learned more about life and myself from them […]

12/22/2014 5 comments

Take me to my dreams

by boyblue 12/16/2014

written by boyblue

I hate who I was and I don’t like who I am. Its hard to move on when your past is always looking at you. I can forgive myself, but I can’t forget the things I had to go through and had to subject others to go through. I was an ass and I admit it. I’m immature and scared to live my life. I joke when it is unnecessary and hide away from my life.

I say the wrong things a lot and just don’t understand people. I have no friends and am literally in the definition of a loner. I cannot connect with people my […]

12/16/2014 1 comment

What else can I do?

by turtleman_2014 12/15/2014

written by turtleman_2014

All I wanted was to be with her. She was the only one that actually cares. She noticed me when no one else would. She hang out with me because nobody else wanted to. I fell in love with her then a week later she acts like I don’t exist and tells me she can’t be with me anymore. I try to be friends with her for the next week but I can’t understand why she would hurt me like that. I needed her more than anything in the world and she hates me for a reason I don’t even know and was never told. […]

12/15/2014 2 comments

The Heart That Beats Weakly

by MoiBelle 12/14/2014

written by MoiBelle

I’m going through a really bad spell, as it was just my birthday and (as I suspected I might) and I spent it alone with a Cup O’ Noodles.
I told my *best friend* that even though I didn’t feel much like going to a casino (which she said SHE was up for, knowing that a casino wouldn’t be the best place for me right now, I suspect) I would love to see her and visit.
She never bothered writing back.
She is a terrible friend.
My most major effort toward a career that I’ve never spoken of on here because it was too real […]

12/14/2014 1 comment

What No One Ever Answered

by Nathaniel_Morisawa 12/13/2014

written by Nathaniel_Morisawa

This is long, if you don’t mind, but I’m sad and I tend to get all blabbery when that happens.

Lately it’s been very apparent that people don’t cut me the same slack that they would virtually anyone else (literally, from douche bags to decent people and everywhere in between–this has been tested). And because this seems to be a repeating phenomenon; where I’m given not even a second chance, I can’t help but wonder: am I really so unsavory of both character and appearance that I warrant indecency? But even that doesn’t make sense to me. People have told me I’m “hot.” People have told me that I’m “really sweet.” People […]

12/13/2014 3 comments

Just nothing to hope for

by Harrison 12/12/2014

written by Harrison

So, it seems like if one wants to lay it all out there this is the place.

Ok, I hate life. I don’t enjoy things like most people seem to. I am a SWM, 42, and I can’t dance because I feel like a fool, and really feeling like a fool is essentially my basic state of mind most of the time. I also have trouble eating, which has a very long childhood story to it. I have a very hard time trying new foods, cant just eat it anyway to be polite, and often cant even eat foods I normally like if they are prepared […]

12/12/2014 6 comments

Subhuman

by IndigoMasquerade 12/10/2014

written by IndigoMasquerade

I’m very sick today. I spent all night last night vomiting, and now I’ve just been stuck in bed all day. So my fiance comes home and decides it’s a good time to fight because I told him something he did towards another female bothered me. He degraded me like crazy, telling me I’m retarded, I’m boring, and that he wants me to disappear and kill myself. All of this after fighting yesterday with my mother and sisters because I asked here politely to take an embarrassing picture of me off of her facebook page. Expressing my opinions and feelings shouldn’t end in a fight […]

12/10/2014 5 comments

Can’t even die successfully

by impossible_girl 12/8/2014

written by impossible_girl

I’ll remedy that tomorrow. Not like anyone where I am wants me around anyway.

You know you’re really a failure when you can’t even die right.

12/8/2014 3 comments

No purpose in life

by killlakill 12/2/2014

written by killlakill

I’m a 23 years old Asian girl. I’m sorry if my English is not good (also posting by my cell phone) and my life story is too long. In my country, my family was quite poor and I wasn’t really good at studying. My only hope was not to become a failure like my parents. I hated my father for being so helpless and not trying hard to take care of my family. When my aunt suggested for my family to immigrate to the country I’m living in right now, I was thrilled with joy. I hated my country and their education system. All my […]

12/2/2014 1 comment

I’m going insane

by AnguishedSoul 11/30/2014

written by AnguishedSoul

Every day it gets worse and worse, not quickly though… slow, like an hour glass that seems to never end but it does, just so slowly that it seems like it never changes.

Some days I don’t think of it too much, other days are a nightmare and other days at it’s worst i cut. When I’m alone its at it’s worst and yet when I’m alone is the only time I don’t feel alone… if that makes sense, its like when I’m around other people I feel more alone than ever because no one understands, no one wants to know or care and I don’t […]

11/30/2014 0 comment

under pressure

by soonerthecosmos 11/26/2014

written by soonerthecosmos

God, both my parents are dropping not-so-subtle hints that they already want to retire…

My father had a myocardial infarction a few years ago and he’s still struggling to pay off the loan he took to pay for the medical bills, and on top of that he’s paying for his meds for diabetes monthly and sending my 2 younger siblings to college. He says he really wants to pay all the bills and just retire as soon as he can.

My mother is sick and tired of her abusive boss and unprofessional work environment. She only plans to stay 3 years tops to complete a 10-year company […]

11/26/2014 16 comments

If I die before I wake

by danceintherain16 11/25/2014

written by danceintherain16

People have killed themselves over more and over less. If truth be told, this is not the first, second, or third attempt. It is not even the first attempt this month.

I just want to say that I’m overall pretty disappointed in mankind. We’re selfish, rude, vindictive, spiteful, and no matter how much “word of god” is preached, the more religious are usually the most corrupt.

I ended my life with trust in one person. He told me that if I killed myself, I would go to hell. I think he just told me that to scare me. I hope that he just told me that to […]

11/25/2014 0 comment

Not sure if I’m wanted to be heard

by Luke_Pettinger 11/25/2014

written by Luke_Pettinger

I have many times considered going mute or at least try to avoid talking all together. It seems that not really anyone wants me or wishes to just accept me. I try acting hyper and energetic at time to gain that attention but I still feel that people would rather forget me. I though try to act quiet and wise but it doesnt counter the random fool people mistake me for. I can’t blame them, and I feel that I’m never able to get out of what I am. I feel left out. My goal is to become remembered long after I’ve died but I […]

11/25/2014 0 comment

It’s always on my mind…

by anotherusername 11/25/2014

written by anotherusername

A family member and two celebrities killed themselves this year. We know Robin Williams, but another is a well-known innovator in the veterinarian world (Sophia Yin). I relate to Sophia the most.

People around me tell me that I’m amazing and can’t believe what I’m accomplishing; I’m such a good friend; I’m an amazing animal trainer. They confide in me that they are ultra depressed. One family member is in/out of a mental ward. My mother and father are now gone; my brother doesn’t keep in touch. I contacted someone who once loved me (I think?) but who always hurt me…I’m forgettable or ignorable or… Why […]

11/25/2014 4 comments

We can help each other

by charlieregal 11/23/2014

written by charlieregal

Lets do it. Lets start a trust fund. We all sell some pf our things then put it in a trust and agree to all meet someplace and use the tust money to pay the fair for who ever wants to come. Then we buy a bomb and just hold hands and sing a prayer or a hymn or something and just wait for it to us all up. Don’t you see that this is your chance!? Stop procastinating! We can do this together don’t you see! we can help each other. We’re all in the same boat so lets just punch a hole in […]

11/23/2014 9 comments

Who Cares About Me Anyway?

by IndigoMasquerade 11/22/2014

written by IndigoMasquerade

It doesn’t matter how much volunteer work I do, how many jobs I work at, how many classes I take, or how much I actively reach out to help people. Nobody wants anything to do with me. I’m very lonely. Nobody messages me or asks me to hang out with them, nobody asks how I’m doing, and last year nobody visited me in the hospital when I was there for a week. What’s wrong with me? Why am I this big of a social outcast? Why am I treated like I’m just extraordinarily annoying? I really just want to die. I want the pain to […]

11/22/2014 6 comments

Cant Get It Right

by JevansEvans 11/22/2014

written by JevansEvans

I cant get anything right. I’m on my 4th attempt, every other attempt would have worked for anyome else but it seems like the world just wants me to suffer.

I wrapped my car around a tree at 120mph, climbed out of the roof and walked away not a scratch on me.

I highsided my motorbike in excess of 130mph, and just rolled into a ditch, not a scratch on me.

I locked myself in a tiny bathroom, sealed all the vents, with 4kg of smouldering charcoal, and I woke up with nothing but a headache.

I have 2.6g of Sertraline, 24g of Paracetomol, and 8g of Ibuprofen. I […]

11/22/2014 9 comments

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