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my Crazy

by evildandelions
written by evildandelions

I don’t even know how to describe this past weekend.  I was sorta suicidal, but more really I just wanted to hurt myself.  I took a lot of klonopin, which I think might’ve made me psychotic.

My ex called the cops on me, afraid that I’d kill myself. I had been hiding in our old apartment when the cops showed up at the door.  I was scared – and this is the main reason I think I might’ve been psychotic- so I jumped from our 7th floor balcony onto the 6th floor balcony.  Thinking about it now makes me cringe.  I have a slight fear of […]

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For Those Who Want to Leave

by rich51bruhh
written by rich51bruhh

For those who want to leave this world, for those contemplating suicide but are to hesitant to go through with it, theres a reason for that. Something is holding you back. I think when you love something or love someone, that is the reason for you to stay. I thought long about this as I sat in the shower remembering the period of time when I felt very suicidal. I imagined in it in my head, my suicide.

I take the handful of pills I had prepared nights before from the cabinet. Tonight is the night. I write a letter to each family member in […]

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Beauty isn’t about having a pretty face . It’s about having a pretty heart, mind, & soul.

by nicole123
written by nicole123

I wish people cared more for others instead of just worrying about themselves .

I wish I could meet someone who doesn’t see me as a sexual item (including men and women , they’re both just as bad). I feel like whenever I go, people just see me as this dumb girl who will give her self up to someone so easily .

Fuck, I just wish someone was infatuated with my mind instead of my body. I want to have deep conversations with people. I want to talk about things people are passionate for. I don’t mind someone thinking I’m beautiful , but I don’t want […]

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Please try please….

by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)
written by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

https://www.youtube.com/-Ib36OXrEL8

Sorry about the religious music. I don’t believe in religion but i do believe in god. I dont assume to know anything about god but i dont think he wants us to kill each other for him or that hes really that concerned in how we believe in him or even that we directly believe in him given just as long as we are trying to be better people to each other. The song is the sample source for Jesus Walks but its soulful on its own i had to post it. But this post isnt about that its about you […]

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2016?

by Lawli
written by Lawli

Half of me is happy to start a new year, starting fresh and a new start.

… The other half of me just wants to die so I don’t have to live another fucking year.

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just everything

by evildandelions
written by evildandelions

My doctor thinks I might have an endocrine disorder since my hormones are somewhat off and due to some “symptoms” that I have like hirsutism, excessive sweating, and slight edema in the face.  I just thought that I was a hairy person (although the facial hair is relatively new), that lamictal caused the sweating (and hot flashes), and that that was just how my face is genetically (somewhat “pudgy”).  I don’t see an endocrinologist until the 14th, but she went ahead and prescribed me metformin- supposed to help regulate my hormones.  When I see the endocrinologist I’ll probably have more blood work done to see if maybe […]

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heartache

by evildandelions
written by evildandelions

The sadness is a heavy weight in my chest, a deep empty feeling.

It’s better than being angry, I think, but this pain is so consuming.  If I’m not actively distracting myself (and even sometimes when I am) I can just feel her absence, the loss.

I don’t want to feel this way.  I’m so tired of being sad.  And even worse, I think I’d be happy if my heart wasn’t broken.  After ten years I finally feel like my depression is lifting, but I still feel incredibly sad anyway.

It still feels unreal, that she left.  She’s my best friend- I was her best friend- and I thought […]

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by metalfan
written by metalfan

Woke up this morning with that knot in my stomach again. That basically means today’s gonna be utter crap. Been thinking more and more about my end of life, starting to become a more attractive option. Part of me wants to just sleep and not have to wake up again, and another part wants to try and fight these feelings. The latter part is fading more and more each day.

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16 Female Norway

by Meany
written by Meany

So, um, how do I start this? I’m clinically depressed and have been suicidal for a while too. I guess I just want to have someone to talk to. My story doesn’t really matter. We’re all fucked up here and that’s the reason to why we’re here.

Anyways, if anyone wants to talk about, well anything, let me know. Whoever decides to contact me should know that I don’t want ‘help’.

I guess most of us here are alive but feel dead. Some of us are waiting for our physical bodies to catch up with out mental state whilst others are trying to fix themselves. We’re all broken. Some just […]

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Sighs Christmas alone

by Deadinside59
written by Deadinside59

Yet another Christmas my family just wants me to stay in my room which normally i don’t mind but seeing everyone so happy with their family or significant other kills me i wonder why can’t i have that why was i born into such a cruel family why so many questions but the good part is this year i have money and its like 70 here for the first time so i can drive the work truck around (it doesn’t have heat so usually I wouldn’t drive it in the winter) I’ll probably just leave to go to the park or something maybe i don’t […]

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Well, I got my reply.

by Nina
written by Nina

Over the weekend I think I finally hit rock bottom.   I tried so desperately to get an answer or reasons  for things that  have been completely out of my control.  I learned the hard way to just let things go.

I saw our love as perfect and honest.   He saw it as suffocating and disgusting.   He felt chocked by me;  hopelessly controled  by me,  to the point where he claims that all of it made him sick.

It hurts when the person you once loved more than anything views you as this selfish and insane creature.  This miserable being that all she wants is to […]

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Ah man, me again, I know, very sad. Either way, here’s some stuffs I wrote about what’s been going on with me lately, if ya’ll care to read it.

by thelost
written by thelost

A Beast

A beast with a silver tongue

A heart of fool’s gold

A body covered in scars

A mind full of pain

 

Lies hidden behind pretty words

Pain hidden behind false smiles

Eternal loneliness

These are what the beast lives with

 

The darkness questions

Where’s your strength

How dare you feel this way

What gives you the right

 

The darkness says he deserves it

Maybe he does

After what he has done

Does he deserve forgiveness

 

His soul cries out

Begs for the darkness to leave

Anything, as long as it will leave

The darkness only digs in deeper

 

Escape is all he wants

There is only one way

It is to lie down in a coffin

And that’s the way the beast likes it

 

I Don’t Know How […]

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The Hush Sound – You Are The Moon

by architect
written by architect

All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas

The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe

I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky

You will see your beauty every moment that you rise

 

I just wanted to protect her, and everyone else that I cared about, from unhappiness.  I know the frigid, bleak nights, and I know how they scrape at your sanity, at your soul.

Today, I found out she’s moved to a different country, and that she wants nothing to do with me. Today, and all foreseeable days, I only have sleep to look forward to. It’s better than nothing. […]

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Angels

by JiminyCrispies
written by JiminyCrispies

My moods have been awful lately, as have the Angels. For months my moods have been out of control. Some days I’ll wake up somewhat okay, and by the afternoon I cannot stand to be around anyone – and the degree of this type of mood fluctuates for roughly 4-5 days.

Then I can have an okay mood last for a period of time, also – yet, this is happening less often now. However, it’s my anger that’s the worst at the moment. My outbursts are becoming more frequent, and the reasons are becoming less obvious. Sometimes they happen due to the slightest change in my […]

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Finally nothing to live for

by theanonymouschild1997
written by theanonymouschild1997

Today Im on lunch and i get a picture message on instagram from an ex showing my gf on her exs page. Earlier saturday I brought up the fact she hasnt been talking to me for a while as she has been. we used to call every night and until saturday we barely called once a week so i knew something was up. then the last pic showed her on oovoo with her ex when she stated she hated oovoo. for 8 months we dated i spent about 700 dollars on her(I calculated) for her to leave me for a “gangsta”. I told the guy […]

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Challenge:

by Salesman
written by Salesman

Lots of research as shown that low serotonin levels directly relates to depression. One of the best ways to raise serotonin levels is daily exercise. Unfortunately low serotonin also makes you not want to exercise making your brain go against what your body wants and needs. I challenge anyone here who is feeling depressed to try it for a few weeks with me. One punch man is kind of inspiring me so I guess I should take advantage before it wears off.

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There Are Two Sides To Me. And Neither Can Be Happy.

by thehusk
written by thehusk

I don’t know how to resolve the conflict within myself. I’ve been trying for so long to figure out a compromise between the different elements of my mind. But there isn’t one. And I don’t think I can let go of either of them.

One is entirely superficial. All it wants is instant, unrestricted gratification. It doesn’t care about consequences, or the limitations of reality. It will accept no denial. Giving in to it brings temporary elation, but once satisfied it fades into the background, leaving only nagging discontent. Denying it removes any feelings of satisfaction in anything, leaving only despair.

The other is appalled by the […]

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by abisslover25
written by abisslover25

The only thing keeping me here is I really want to find myself again and see if I am any happier. So here is a really long vent.

 

6 years ago I was a teenager. I drove drag cars, I worked 2 jobs, I spent my days off working on my street car, I was a huge canabis smoker. I had a place to live and a room mate, and when I threw a party people came from miles around to be there. I would leave and catch a plane and go places on a whim because I wanted to get away. I was losing weight […]

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