I have a friend, my best friend.. Â we have been friends since kinder garden, we were always there for each other.. no matter what.. and that is great and all, but i feel like i don’t deserve that friend. Because a couple og months ago i was at a party having a good time and all, then this really hot girl walks up to me and we start talking, everything is fine we start making out we walk to a bed room start undressing, and right before we are gonna do it my fried enters the room.. and he sees me with the girl and […]
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Whore
if i wasnt such a whore. if i wasnt such a smart-ass. if i was the same goody goody i was couple years back. i’d take it everything back just to live in peace.
I don’t know what’s wring with me. I need attention. I need to be noticed. Everything hurts and I never feel loved. I literally never talk or text or call anyone and I basically spend every day only talking and hanging with my parents. This by itself is not a big deal, but I feel like I’m weird because of it. The few friends I do have call me a liar, an annoying little *****, a slut, a whore and basically they want nothing to do with me. It’s my fault somehow and I’m not just saying that to sound pitiful. I’m totally lost and […]
I’ve hit it. I’m a 19 year old gay male and i’ve been crying my eyes out for so many nights now. I want to just end it all..I am so miserable and lonely. I’ve brought most of this on myself I guess…i think I have herpes and it fucking disgusts me. I hate these fucking sores on my lips…why did I have to do this to myself? I feel like such a disgusting whore. I miss my exboyfriend and I wish i could have done more for him..instead I fucked up. I fuck everything up. I don’t know why I was brought intothis world…both […]
A couple of days ago I believed today would be the day to get this done, finally, once and for all, no more hand-wringing, no more excuses. I was prepared to deal with the dreaded pain I knew it would take to do the deed. But wouldn’t you know it, the time frame when my will was the strongest my plans were thwarted because I didn’t get to be alone like I needed to be to carry out my plan. Of late it is almost comical how bad my luck has been!!!!!!!!!! Obviously I know I just have to bide my time and wait for […]
I’m 13. My Life Started Spiraling Downhill When I Was In Elemetery School.
5th Grade, I Kept Getting In Trouble In School. 6th Grade I Was Arrested For Running Away, For Vandalism, For Asulting An Officer Of The Law. My Parents Divorced. I Started Smoking, I Was Hanging Around The Wrong Crowd. My Life Was Shit. 7th Grade The Coustidy Battle Came Along, Week To Week With My Father I Never Knew And My Amazing Mother. My Dad Started Getting Abusive, So I Refused To Go Over There. Costidy Battle Again, Only Every Other Weekend Now With Ol’ Daddy Dearest. Still Smoking, Still Getting In […]
I’m sick of  everyone. it seems as if everyone i know is self-centered I’m sick of it. Everyone comes to me for help like my “friend” comes to me saying hes going to kill himself so I do what every good friend does and keeps on talking to him but all he does is say he hates me and that I’m a whore because i was molested and why wont i just let him go die. I know he didn’t mean it…I never take to hart what anyone says when their mad but he must have wanted help or else he wouldn’t have stayed on the […]
That Silly word. . . . . ” die ” it runs through my mind almost every momment of my day. Sometimes I just sit there reapeating the word over and over again, paying no attention to whats going on around me. Sometimes i think of carving the word “die” into my wrist, just to remind myself what needs to happen. ” Die”, “Die you stuiped whore”, “Die you worthless piece of shit”, ” Die becuase it’s for the best for everybody”, or ” Die because nobody will care” Those sayings run through my mind aleast twice a day, but i don’t mind becuase. In […]
Tonight I sat in the mirror and told myself how worthless I was how nobody has never and will never love me, Something inside said to end it, I had a bottle or alcohol and a bottle of pills i picked them both up popped a pill in my mouth and thought for a second why do I have to feel like this why do I have to want to take my own life ? Because nobody understands ? Because the nights are sleepless ? because im alone ! Nobody cares i kept saying nobody ever dd just end it ***** , your […]
ugh! i knew faking it would come back and bite me someday that day would be yesterday and now all summer. one day 20 minutes and a guy fell for me??? but not ME my fake me! now he wants to get to know “me” all summer? great. should i fool him and keep my fake personality going? or should i open up and tell him EVERYTHING? suicidal, depression, cutting, everything, he already knows the worst part..that im a whore! haha perfect. what am i supposed to do..?
The “mean girls” (such a cliche, I know) were spreading rumors about me today..all just because they don’t like me. The sad part is, I used to consider them some of my best friends. They told EVERYONE I suck dick. People kept asking if I did all day. It was horrible. People called me a whore & a slut in the hallyways. They said things like “Classy, not trashy..right Shannon?” I’ve never done anything to them. I hate them. I hate them all. People like them are the reason I drink & smoke & cut myself! They might as well just tell me to kill […]
Being jusged really sucks. It sucks even more when the person doesnt even know you. Getting called a whore by your boyfriends sister suck even worse. I mean yeah i didnt have sex with my boyfriend before and i have done other things with him but i have nevrr done anything with any other guy besides him. It hurts to know his sister who use to love me now hates me and thinks im a whore. I look at myself and always ask if i look like one. I try to not dress like on. I dont skinny jeans and a aero shirt is a […]
So after keeping everything bottled up inside me I decided I have to share my real feelings.
Hmm…where to start? I guess when everything began.
I had just moved to this town in Texas because my father’s in the military. I was excited about the new experience. I had my heart set on going to this cool elementary school, Cielo Vista, but I couldn’t. So I had to go to Bliss, one of the worst elementary schools in the city. Thank god I was only there for 5th grade. Anyways, I was always a bit on the sad side. But when I got here, everything seemed to […]
I am NOT a fuck up. I do care. I care so fucking much. I know I don’t have scars on the outside, but inside I’m torn to shreds. Don’t you dare say you understand. NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS. I will not be dropping out of school. I will not be failing. Will you all just stop talking about it please and let me be alone?
Yes, my grades are absolute and complete shit. I realize that. No I don’t know how I’ll get them up, but will you SHUT THE FUCK UP?! Okay, I need help, I realize that. But I don’t need you. I need […]
I doubt anyone would take a look at this. But I have no one else to turn to. I have screwed up my life so tremendously, I feel that I have no other choice but to kill myself. My boyfriend, the one whom I love more than life itself, saw that I was texting my ex. I was just texting him to see how he was doing, but my bf had told me explicitly that he didn’t want me talking to him. Now he is calling me a liar and that I’m going to regret ever lying to him. I don’t know what he’s going […]
I try so hard..
But it’s never enough.
Nothing is ever enough. Not for him, not for her, for them, for me..
With each day that passes I feel like I am slipping away more and more. I just want to be happy.
You know it’s funny, I once got a fortune cookie and it told me
“If you want the rainbow, you must tolerate the rain.”
But now I can’t help but wonder. How long will it keep raining, you know?
1.. 2.. 3.. 4.. 5.. 6.. 7 gone.
Suicides, murders, overdose, AIDS.
It’s not fair, why them?
Then dad was never […]
All i want is to feel normal and happy like i used to. I keep telling myself that in a couple of years I’ll just be a name, or a memorial a student passes on the way to their next class. I’ll cease to be an everyday thought and become a memory that manages to crawl its way back into the mind of a loved one every now and then. I’ll be what you strive to avoid. But what I will be can’t be any worse than what I am. I’m just another hopeless girl that can’t seem to get through life in one piece. […]
Im going to keep this short, and I`ll be back.
Mom, Dad,and well everyone else, You`ll never read this but Im sorry. Sorry for everything. Im sorry your daughter goes to sleep wanting to kill herself. Im sorry you dont understand. Im not trying to act like a whore, but if being wanted is what keeps me alive let me keep it. I cant do this anymore. Im going to wait till im on the anti depressents, Im going to pretend everythings okay. But if one more thing happens..Im gone. Out of this world.
“If you want to help me, help me die”…Im not happy anymore..And i […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m stuck in my past and it’s ripping me apart. I don’t have anyone I can talk to or trust. I feel like if I don’t tell anyone about what I’m struggling with then I’ll suffocate. I’m so sorry for posting this but I just can’t do this alone anymore.
I’m in my last year of High School. I have been bullied since Grade 4, but the bullying didn’t get really bad until Grade 7 (Junior High). I’ve had bottles, dirty socks, money/coins, bags, food, paper, just about anything you can think of, thrown at me. I’ve been called […]
My story isn’t this huge story that will make everyone teary-eyed ,a and have people wanting to feel sorry for me everywhere . No , im just a 14 year old girl w/ a fucked up life . But my story is real , and it means something to me that someone just read it and actually hear what i’ve been through . I need more faith in myself , i talk back to my parents too much , i want to cry right now , i pretend everything’s okay when it’s really not , i just can’t seem to understand math ,i am a […]