Just have to quickly rant about this. So I go through twitter for my job to find stuff to copy and tweet out for clients and I came across this bullshit story of how you can be a billionaire if you just work hard enough at it and want it bad enough. Of course it’s cis het white guy who got rich because he married rich. Yeah, that was his big break. He was born poor but he married a woman who’s family owned a big company. So he made something more out of that company. See, there’s the lie. You can work your ass […]
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work
Cutting and full of anxiety but all he cares about is the fact I hung out with his roommate while he was at work.. I’m the bad one. Can I just die yet?
I’m coming to the end of 18 days off. I don’t want to go back. I hate it so much. It’s a constant reminder of how isolated I am. I feel so anxious while I’m there. I can barely function, and people treat me like I’m stupid as a result. And it doesn’t even pay enough to build any kind of life.
But I can’t think of a real alternative. I just want it to stop. I can’t bear the thought of another year wasted there, miserable.
I was first diagnosed with depression in my teens. I was supposed to be medicated but No my parents wouldn’t do that. I left home early to get away from abuse and thought I was running towards love. I was wrong. I tried going to hospitals for help but I had no insurance so it was like I didn’t exist. Years went by and I got worse. Eventually I snapped and tried to kill myself. Recently I found out I have a heart condition and had to go to the hospital. They told me not to work. I applied for Social Security but it’s taking […]
I remember my recent birthday, it was horrible. My mom, and my dad kicked me to the dirt and left me to cry my eyes out in my bathroom because I went to a friends house that day (yes I did tell them). My dad smiled to me and said “happy fucking birthday”. How those words hurt me so much. And to this day I still don’t know what I did wrong. So much yelling and arguing, but for what? I don’t even know..
I also remember when I was supposed to go to a amusement park with some of my friends, but I got stressed […]
I wanted to kill myself this coming Friday. But then I got this email offering me some work. I don’t like to let people down. the work is scheduled for the Monday after my planned Friday. And I have all this “hope” inside that I can make things better, That should be a good thing, but I’m scared. I’ve gone through this cycle so many times. And after hope comes despair again. So many times have I decided on suicide but then decided against it only to come back to it again. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.
Im so excited! I only have a week left untill I’m out! till I’m done with life. Friday will be my death day, one day after my birthday. I could stick around and go through all the work of getting better, but I don’t want to. I know it’s selfish and I accept that. I know people will hurt, that’s why I’ve written each one a letter. I just gotta clean up some stuff, pick out the tree and I’ll be gone on Friday for sure 🙂
my birthdays coming up, and I think I’ll kill myself. Or maybe I’ll wait till the day after, for Friday. That way no one will be expecting me somewhere. i work for two hours each weekday morning. So if I wait till Friday my week is done. I think Friday is the way to go. but I’ll wait and see what I feel Thursday
so my ex boyfriend keeps threatening me to take my child when I gave birth and it’s scaring me to think that I could possibly deal with something this hard myself for 9+ months and not even get the surprise at the end ? I know he’s just trying to hurt me but its so stressful . I’m contemplating running out of state because I’m not going to just give my baby up like that . I feel like he wants thes reward but doesn’t want to work for it ? I just don’t know what to do
“Normal life is not real. We are just cogs in a wheel. We work, we hurt, we search, we feel”
—- Canibus
I am too depressed to do anything, I can’t get any homework done because im too depressed, I just look at dead girls on the internet and masturbate, then I suffocate myself and masturbate, then I cry and punch the walls, then I go to sleep. And at school Im too depressed to focus on my work, No one understands how I feel, I already trusted someone before and now even if people know about my depression it just makes things worse
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
ive been referred to four different organisations for mental health over the last 5 years. none of which have worked. only had one session with my new NHS woman but I haven’t much hope. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and all they seem to care about is the anxiety. that’s the least of my worries. ive been suicidal before, and I still have suicidal tendencies which I am struggling to supress. I need help but they don’t seem to want to get to the issues that are deeply effecting me. is there anywhere that works (UK based) or any methods (currently on […]
I was going to write once I got back from work but my mom decided to make it a movie night since I wasn’t feeling so good.
So on my way to work I was feeling really sick. I was feeling really lightheaded, nauseous, and at the same time my blood pressure was really high. For a minute I thought maybe, just maybe I was going to have a heart attack and to be honest, I wouldn’t have minded if I did. When I got to work I didn’t know if I really wanted to spend the entire day feeling like this so I told my […]
I just want to say that I think, for the most part, tough love does not work with people who are going through mental distress. I cannot simply get up and get help. the simple act of getting out of bed is hard. So anything more complex than that is extremely daunting and your tough love isn’t making it seem more appealing.
I have to go to work in a couple of hours. I hate going there. I have to deal with constant sexual harassment from my boss. I’m quitting in a few weeks since he treats me like shit as well, he makes me do stuff that he can do, while he sits there watching dramas on his phone. I’m tired of being mistreated for 9 months and having to deal with the harassment without being able to tell anyone.
This morning my mom was awake early and noticed that I hadn’t taken my medicine at the time I’m supposed to so, she made me take it. […]
I’ve been at work since seven
I haven’t been able to even think about work clearly, because my mind is reminding me about my relationship
Reminding me of how stupid I am
How being a female, who’s over emotional already, shouldn’t act crazy for attention
How I made the love of my life walk away from me
How I asked him to please come back to me and he told me I was killing him…
but little does he know is that he’s killing me.
I found a box of razor blades.
one cut for every time I’ve called
their not big or deep cuts but they hurt
I’m not good at pain
idk what to […]
im so tired life is getting heavier and heavier my thoughts are getting worse and im so sick of bad thoughts. my medicine doesnt work at night.
Normal. Kissing a man. Normal. Friends. Body contact/hugs, kisses. Normal. Couple with a baby. Normal. Walking up the stairs, riding a bike, doing sports. Normal. Mother, father, family. Normal. Driving a car. Being slim. being blonde. Fuck the media, the picture you are showing us is “NORMAL”. Normal. Normal. Normal. I am SICK of this normal world!!!
Empty from crying. Tomorrow to work again. smile, you’re on camera. being watched. don’t cry in public – you may be considered as being mentally ill in this society.
I have the easiest wish a human being can have. Somebody LOVE me. Someone, anyone, lay your arms around me and […]
“There once was a Gasm who’s name was Or”
“Watering the garden was her favorite chore”
“Red faced men volunteered with glee”
“Blooming her blossems, and planting there seeds”
“Or was the happiest woman in town”
“A Gasm like her could never frown”
“With a lot of hard work, and 10 second breaks”
“It was time to rest, with a tummy full of steak”
How do you all like my poem? Feedback please!