So.. they told me I’m cancer free, and YES I’m so happy for it, I’m still dealing with my depression and anxiety problems but everything is working well.. I guess.
I met this guy, he’s like me. Depression, anxiety and Schizophrenia is what we have in common. I love him, I’m so in love with him that makes me sad, because he’s giving up and I don’t know what to do. Everything I say or I do is for nothing because he doesn’t care, and he don’t care the fact that it was hard for me too and I’m dealing with it.. and he doesn’t believe, […]
I just want to end it now and don’t know the best way. I want something that would be painless and I’d just fall asleep and never wake up.
Then I think of my daughter. She’s 23 and has a wonderful boyfriend. They are both working on their futures and doing as well as they can. Both working hard towards it.
I don’t want to hurt her more than anyone in my life. But at the same time I just feel worthless and don’t want to be around anymore
Just spent a bunch of time writing this on mobile and forgot to save it and got an error, yay me.
Anyway, hi. I’ve been browsing this website on and off for the past year or so and decided to share my story today.
So I’m currently 18 years old, and I’ve been dealing with depression and suicidal thoughts since about 9 or 10.
I’ve never really met or talked to my real father in any way, he left when I was 3 months old, I come from a relatively poor family
and my father never paid his child support, my mom rarely had a job and would constantly get […]
I’ve been so focused on trying to be successful that I haven’t really been depressed as usual.Ever since my friend has came from jail he feels like I owe him.(long story)?The thing Is I’m a different person from a year ago.A year ago I was still lost,I didn’t know how to go on when my ex left me.Today,I just want to retire my mom & be successful.Its kinda Ironic that I’m In ?the life Insurance business but there’s times when I want to take my life.I cant kill myself now.Even after these past couple of months working 8 commission jobs & I have nothing […]
Guys i am going through relationship problems from last some yeas. I am living on hopes but hopes not working. I have tried all possible ways to be alive to keep me away from negative thoughts.
But somehow i have decided to end up with ma all hope with ma life today evening.
Some time before i had posted for suggestions to help me to choose ma way way to die. But m scared. M not getting what to do. Please guys i really need something to keep ma hopes. Please help me out please. M dying inside. And the moster of thoughts of […]
I’m in one of those moods where you don’t want to do anything but you want to try to be happy but nothing’s working.
My Life has devolved to jerking off and working shitty Job I don’t like. I have lost interest in everyone and everything I hold dear. I am lonely, my lack of social skills precluded any chances of ever getting into a relationship. I had started a relationship with some girl but we separated because of my unenthusiastic depressed ass. I see her pics and she’s pretty thick now, I missed all that, she had charm too and everything I’d always wanted in a Women.
I’m generally a fucking mess. Anybody watched Phillip Seymour in the film Happiness? Yeah that’s me. My fucking life sucks. Fleeting thoughts […]
fukk me you beautiful ***** — my darkness
i hate the organization im working for. i hate giving away my money to these fuckin organizations that cant be trusted. why i would i want to do that and get other people to do it. these organizations swindle so many people out of cash and there are so many looking for hand outs. its fucking annoying. its so true like we should take care of our […]
Wondering if anyone else here diagnosed with Dysthymia would be interested in an ongoing email conversation. Not about anything specific really, but i have a new theory that having a buddy in your phone (or on your computer) that knows exactly how you feel at times could be beneficial. I’d like to test this theory. I’m thinking if it works for addicts then why not depressives? If it’s more than one person, great. I figure we can just all cc each other. I don’t think it would work if it’s more than a few though.
If you’re a middle aged middle class working person like myself […]
I got frustrated watching the Sopranos last night because the characters were acting stupid. My anger at these fictional people once again reminded me of how empty my life is. I recently came to the realization that I don’t actually have any friends. My co-workers only care about what I have to say if it’s entertaining and won’t hang out with me after hours. The friends that I do see in my spare time only ever want to do stuff once every 3 or 4 months. The guy that I considered my best friend is little more than an acquaintance. I’ve told him so much […]
I’m a failure. There are so many things happening right now. My mother works so hard to put food on the table while fighting depression and a damn father who doesn’t give any money to help. And even with all this situation, I don’t know if I’ll be able to graduate because I’m so fucking stupid and lazy and weak. I’m just so fucking tired all the time and my cousin will get into a great college because she is working so hard and I’m just a damn lazy ass. I don’t study or really work for anything and I’m so tired of being a […]
my mind isnt racing, and it feels nice. i think alot of my problems are indeed mental illness. im working on taking my meds consistently, and also getting my health issues worked on also. But i realize that my mood swings, racing mind, and all that is a part of mental illness that i refused to acknowledged. I chose to hopefully be a high functioning bipolar person (and keep working on my health issues). i hope this mood stays. it is such a relief. (i still miss my libido though).
OK so today the voices were on and on about shit. Then this entity began making shit funny. It makes light of the dark shit that can surround my soul sometimes.
They modify words get carried away with songs, make me hear shit that ain’t there but sounds like it is. But I’m too smart for the voices I know its them. I have at least 6 or 7 different characters that come and go. Everything from little girls to evil entities that curse and swear and crack me up. That’s when they’re not trying to make me suicidal.
I’m trying to find successful stories of Schizo’s […]
… and it’s true.
I was just told this by my GF after she ran through the checklist of all my failures and shortcomings. As if I was completely unaware and aloof of how utterly fucked I am and have been for the last few years. Now, I’m sure she means to somehow motivate me or in some other way try to light a fire under my ass to somehow ferret my way to at least a treading water type of existence in some clever way – she’d be ecstatic if I could manage that.
What’s funny (ironic/weird type funny … and in a twisted way funny ha […]
So I have no idea how I ended up on this site, from the point of browsing to signing up to typing this. But I know that, this’ll do as a distraction even for a little while until I can actually find a way to die.
I suppose people reading this are thinking ‘well, what’s her reason for wanting to die?’ and the thing with me is, is I’m just very very shit at trying to ‘adult’ my way through life. I’m gonna start from the beginning to the point where I either feel like I’ll post this or just delete it because my life might […]
Ya all must be sick of me. I have no one in my life to talk to. No one. I’ve since lost the one friend I did talk to because she ultimately didn’t approve of the guy I fell for being so much as alive and breathing. Yeah that pissed me off, of course. But I’m alone. And stuck with being homeless. I’d have to quit my job just to have the time to look for a place, but then I couldn’t pay for it. It’s just never going to happen. I can’t make any sense of this life, working so hard just to be […]
Im so scared I dont know what to do……I’ve been in chronic pain now for 10yrs after a car accident made me have to have spine surgery. My life was great until that point……I was in college getting ready to graduate next quarter and I was working for a doctors office doing the work that I was in college for.
After the surgey I was unable to continue with class/work since it was excruciating to sit or stand for long periods of time and I would get horrible spasms and nerve damage caused a lightning type pain to run from my buttox down to my foot.
Well […]
Hello everyone, when i first found this place, i thought it was going to give me some painless methods to end it all, and though i am scared of whats on the other side.. ( pagan but not sure). I still felt like my life was just getting to hard for me. It was not a matter of , was i too scared to face it or had lack of support. Its worse then that.
I have Borderline personality disorder, I have dissociative identity disorder, major depressive disorder, post traumatic stress disorder, Obsessive compulsive disorder. Social anxiety disorder.
Thus, i am a walking mess and i […]
I guess it all started when I was sixteen; funny thinking how long ago it seems even though I’m only 20 now, Or maybe before. I was never happy as a kid, dad never around, mom always at work, an abusive grandfather. It was when I was sixteen that I decided to do something about it. I ran away. I ran away from Arizona and took the greyhound to long beach. I don’t know what my actual plan was once I got there but regardless everything went wrong. I ended up having to get surgery to save my life and spent almost the whole month […]
I hate when he doesn’t talk to me and I feel like it’s because he can’t stand me loving him. I know I’m too hideous to love but I can’t stand being shut out. I might as well confess somthing since it will never happen anyway, because I’ll kill myself at some point this year. But I used to, since the age of 5, occasionally make plans for building a robot, because I knew even that young, that that would be the only way I’d ever have a male companion. The first Terminator movie didn’t come out until I was about 7. Over the years, […]