ever since primary school I had been cutting. I dud it because all my ‘friends’ were horrible. One day they were all friendly the next day they would be holding me down and throwing footballs at me. Bow I’m in secondary school. And it just got worse. I was alone again. Then people started commenting on my appearance. I began starving myself to make ne skinnier than I am. I gate being ugly I hate it. One day I decided I was gonna do it. I had enough. But then this boy stayed up all night trying to stop me. He was the kindest person […]
Tag:
worse
Always been the person to be there for everyone else. No matter what I went thru I pushed that aside to help the ones who couldn’t ever offer help me when I feel the same pain or in my opinion worse.. But what happens when I feel I need someone to be there? When I feel like I’m falling apart or becoming weak who other than myself can I talk too..clearly I know the answer to that, I just don’t want to believe it. So stressed out and wish that being my only friend and only comfort was enough. Sometimes it has been but that’s […]
So I’ve done something that I’m not proud of at all. Being a Christian makes it worse. It also makes me a phony.
Ive been caught for doing this once before. Once I get a hold on internet connection, there is no limits for me. I get out of control, obsessed and desperate. It’s embarrassing for me really.
I went on something called ‘Meowchat’ and I started talking to some guy. He asked for dirty talk, and I gave it to him. I got nothing out of it, really. He then asked for nudes. I said ‘no’.
I sort of pressured me into sending one picture to him, […]
I want to ask but the words won’t come out.
You make me choose between you two.
What do you expect to a child who don’t want to lose both?
I want to help but I can’t. If I did, he’ll hate us and the same thing would happen. And it’ll be worse.
So, I can’t choose. All I can do is hear you out while you vent out all your pain.
But I still want to ask why is this happening to us yet the words won’t come out. And this aggression would be another wound on my body.
I lied to my parents about having suicidal thoughts and carrying on self harming. Should I come clean because they are getting worse I keep taking pills and cutting and I feel its going to get worse. Should I go doctors? Or maybe counseling? I dunno what to do I feel myself fading away everyday a bit more :‘( I haven’t been able to speak to anyone 🙁 I’m going into a deeper depression and no one is caring about it 🙁 I feel like one day everyone will care when it is too late :‘(
It is so sad I had to drink two whiskeys and a beer for breakfast in order to get to work this morning. My mood raised for a moment but now I’m just feeling sick and my mood is slowly getting worse than before drinking. I’m also afraid my colleagues noticed I drank.
I hate myself so bad.
What if when you die, if you kill yourself, your punishment is to come back worse than now. A starving kid, someone with a horrible debilitating condition. I guess thats true of any way you die.
This bully Ava is telling everyone I’m a liar,faker,lesbian etc
What’s worse
She’s my bffs other bff
The thing with my look is that it is nerdy but something worse than that. I look fucking retarded that someone could stare at my face and burst out laughing. And it happens. Many times in fact. I get discriminated against SO badly by teachers alot and other people. You can probably say that no, everyone looks beautiful, I think you look okay blah blah. No mine isnt just ugly. I have a severely downward slanting mouth when my face it resting. My eyes are the worst. It is uneven one is upward slanting while the other is upward slanting. I cant even smile properly, […]
I am tired to explain my problems, but I suffer every second of my life and it’s not gonna end. I know in my heart I won’t be happy again, I personally ruined my family, friendships, love and job. All my fault, odd story but I self-destroyed myself and I can’t blame anyone but me. I’ll never forgive myself and I’ll never get back the things I lost and I can’t live without them. I have to go to end this.
On the other hand I already hurt beyond imagination the people I love, and I can’t afford to add other pain. My death would literally […]
Sometimes I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. Like I’m bipolar. Or something worse. I feel like I lost myself. This isn’t the person I remember being.
Or is it?
I am so mad at myself that I feel this way! Why should I suffer when most people have it so much worse. I have a family that loves me, a boyfriend that is awesome, and friends that have my back. It’s just that lately my grades have dropped and I worry that I’m not fitting in. I cut like crazy, and I spend most of my time looking at percabeth fanfictions. I think that I might be going insane! My brothers are so much older than me, and they are amazing at everything. I think that it might be too late for me to […]
I’m currently in a partial hospitalization program after half-hearted attempt number 3. Counseling seems to be triggering a lot and I feel worse. I suffer from depression, PTSD, am a victim of abuse, abandonment and neglect. Been in therapy for years. It’s not that I want to die (at my worst I do), it’s that I have no will to live. Does anyone else feel that way?
I want to be happy again. I want to stop the daily thoughts to kill myself. I’m on meds, I’m in intensive therapy, I like my psychiatrist but need a new therapist. My cousin is doing ECT, but I […]
I am sick and tired of it all.
The only thing that is sort of positive is that I’ve been organizing and getting rid of junk that has accumulated over my lifetime.
I pulled out the pictures of me, but I got rid of school yearbooks. Some I torched, some I put in the trash. Didn’t even bother recycling them.
I have a bible, still kept it in a box with a bunch of other books, but I don’t really give it much weight anymore. I’ll probably get rid of it in a couple of days as part of the whole process.
There are some things that are still […]
I’m living on a hope thinking that one day I’ll wake up and magically life will make sense and have purpose, but each morning I awake from the dream that tomorrow will never come. Before I go to sleep I cry, pray, beg and plead to God to let it end to take me while I sleep to the only place I’ll ever be at peace but my prayers go unanswered. So I awake to the thoughts of suicide. I’ve convinced myself that that Hell can’t be any worse than my Hell.
There’s no one to talk to – no one to take the pain away […]
the day is coming fast. i have things to do. death preparations someone told me. making sure things are in order- savings accounts, insurance policies, bills for the month paid. gonna start cleaning my closet. nothing obvious. been writing goodbye letters in my head. there is a small part of me who is screaming . the majority says shut up. i can’t explain what is going on in my head. rapid mood swings, not wanting to talk, wanting to be alone. all kinds of physical complaints. too late to address those. too late to address my fucked up head. i accept responsibility for the fucked […]
My obnoxious buck-toothed dumbfuck brothers outed me to my conservative mom. I’m a transguy. I’m still figuring out myself, and I certainly wasn’t ready to tell anyone else. Plus my mom’s in a difficult situation herself – she’s depressed, anorexic, going through a divorce, etc. So it’s really ridiculous to burden her with my situation.
She told me I was an attention-seeker who needed to pray. I told her – and tried to be firm – that I felt confident and happy, dressed as a guy. She responded that it was a false sense of confidence instilled by the devil. According to her, no one in […]
I know it shouldn’t matter, but seeing people around me happy, fulfilled, able to handle their finances, their relationships, their lives, it just makes me feel even worse.
I had been feeling better earlier in the year, but seeing other’s succeeding while I continue to fail has sent my back down. I had to delete my Facebook, because it only depressed me.
I have lost everyone that ever mattered to me (save for a few family members and a friend in another state). It is abundantly that others who I thought I was important to don’t care about me or need me at all.
I have long ago […]
The last two month’s have been the worse month’s of my life. I have destroyed my master’s degree, relationship with parents and have no friends around me, all for stupid, pathetic, childish reasons and obsessions. Will my end be suicide ?: I doubt it. However, I will be running away, at least. I was obviously born with a defect. I seldom know what else to say– I have merely destroy my self; another dust in the wind, taken away, thrown into the depths of nothingness.
Goodbye everyone.
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
Hey. I’m currently stuck in my mid teens somewhere in the green hills of sunny old England. And I want to die.
For years now, I have been diagnosed with depression. I feel it probably has been constant in my life, after suffering abuse at the hands of my brother, then having to care for my mother while my father worked long shifts (he is always quite submissive, meaning he had to work far into the nights, often until 11pm). First of all, I tried to go on alone, with fairly minimal support. Then I made two attempts on […]