I am the outcast. I always feel like no one will notice if I am gone. When I go to high school I feel so trapped then I go home and I feel extremely alone. I never feel like I belong anywhere. There are moments where I came so close to committing suicide just I get scared. I get scared because what if I do it and it isn’t any better on the other side what if I am even more alone. My family life just is terrible and my school life is so much worse. I have to pretend to be someone I am […]
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worse
I’ve been depressed for 4 years now. It wasnt that bad in the beginning but as time went by it has gotten nothing but worse to the point where now it literally takes up my entire brain. Every single second of my life except for the time I am unconscious (sleeping) is spent being eaten alive by my depression, unable to think about anything else. How can I not be? I am literally the biggest piece of shit in the world. You think you or someone you know is as worse as can be you are dead wrong because you haven’t heard about me yet, […]
I wish I knew how to help everybody and sadness wasn’t a real thing. I wish nobody encouraged suicides I just wish words would actually cure depression and it was easier to get help. I wish suicide wasn’t such a common thing it makes me sad that so many people want to die and feel the same way I do. I’m sorry for everybody going through these feelings but make sure you’ve put in all the possible effort you could to be happy before considering suicide. I don’t see suicide as a selfish thing because I feel like if you feel trapped being alive no […]
I am an 18 year old male. If this content is too graphic please remove the post, I just don’t have anywhere to turn. Ok, lets get started.
I have a phobia, which entails people thinking I am masturbating. This may sound weird, but it has been developed over the past 4 years, and furthered by constant negative reinforcement.
It all started around the time I was 14, I had begun masturbating prior to this, but before this I really didn’t feel the true motivation to do it. Maybe I am a late bloomer? Anyway, I was caught several times around this age by my mother, and […]
I hate it when people say, “It gets better”
Like how the fuck do you know? What if it doesn’t get better. What if I just continue to fail miserably? What if everything just gets worse? Was worth waiting around? Was it worth trying so hard every day, to just fall flat again?
I don’t think I’m willing to keep following the cycle.
Just when you think things are looking up and getting better, life finds a way to deepen the pain. Am I being tested? Is this some cruel joke? I’m getting exhausted fighting on each day to avoid hurting my parents and friends. I like to imagine they’re just pretending to care to make it easier for me to go, but I know it isn’t true. I started praying to God again for help, something I haven’t done in 3 years. Things have only gotten worse since then. Maybe I just want to believe that I’m not in control of my own destiny, because me in […]
is it selfish that seeing how happy everyone around me is makes me feel even worse i should just be grateful for their well-being but instead it makes feel shit like i have no one to talk to because their happiness makes me feel like they cant possibly understand what im going through and like they wouldnt care if they did
As I’m near the end for the third time in 2 1/2 weeks, my main wish is for success. I have read the statistics on suicide attempts over and over. I know the dangers of a failed attempt.
So my realistic, rational wish is to be able to do it right and not leave myself in even worse shape than I’m now. Because as much pain as I’m in now, it would be worse if I fail.
But regardless of that wish, I still have another wish that is not realistic. It’s actually quite irrational, as it is not possible and would never happen.
Those that have read […]
I totally just realized how much of a lil ***** I’ve been lately. Things have been way worse before and I didnt break down. Need to just grow the fuck up.
/???????
So I am new at this site and am seeking advice. I am in my mid twenties and am a relatively successful individual. About 6 months ago my life turned upside down when I was diagnosed with a cosmetic skin condition call fordyce spots on my lips. The problem with this condition is that it is progressive meaning it gets worse with time and that there is currently no cure out on the market. Over the past few months I have quit my job lost most of my friends and have detached from family, religion, and basically anything else that requires social interaction. I have […]
I’ve been bipolar since forever, but the last six months have been getting progressively worse regarding suicidal thoughts. It is literally all I think about. My problem is my kids – they are 9 and 12, and I can’t put them through the trauma I would cause. They are the only thing that makes me happy, but at the same time, I resent them because they are the only thing keeping me here. My therapist thinks I’m actually thankful for them, but I know better 😉
I wrote a poem about my kids and my situation. I’m no poet, but maybe it will resonate with someone:
Cursed […]
It was June 2013 and a friend recommended me to a self help workshop called world works. It was a cult. They used sleep deprivation and yelling techniques to control 30 of us in a room with limited breaks. There a 3 levels of the program and I reached level 2. I quit after that but they were still bothering me writing nasty texts and kept calling me. They were awful and tried to make you feel terrible. My friend asked me whats the matter. I thought not talking about would make it go away and it didn’t. I felt like I was being followed […]
i’m so done with life. i have been for a very long time now. thing is i don’t have the guts to do myself in. i wish i did, then my suffering would have been over a very long time ago. i’ve had people, family who were supposed to love me, tell me that they hate me and hope i die. well good for them. i’ve ceased to matter to anyone and i don’t care anymore. i want to be out of here, not because they want me to be, but because i want to be. fuck all the rest. if only i had the […]
Around two years ago I saw an anime (some kind of cartoon) that change my point of view completely and made my think all the time about “serious” stuff such as life.
I didn’t know what to do with myself, I had so much thoughts inside my head and nothing to do with them.
I kept all of that inside me and shared with a few friends I met for a game, but even with them I didn’t share to much.
Around two months later, I started to talk with my big brother, and I felt he understands me and I felt comfortable to talk with […]
Last year, i tried to commit suicide. After I’ve gone out of the hospital, I didn’t have a therapy because i refused to. And now, my mom is still pushing me to do so because my temper got worse after what had happened.
it’s my first post but i don’t know how to put my words in a sentence. I have lots of things that is hurting me from inside n outside. i kept all my problems to myself, Every things bad happens to me i feel like this is the end… i can’t take these are anymor I’m done and, when i talk to my self i say hey, u need to be strog enough to live but, right after that smt worse than last time happen and im just like WHY!?!?! What shoul i do? Im so weak now
i’m scared to do smt wrong ????
(sorry if my […]
The title says it all. Every single day i am so fucking depressed and nothing can change that. Many people say tomorrow will be a new and different day and that you will be better. BULSHITS! I am so fucking desperate and every day that i wake up from the 10 minutes that i can close my fucking eyes nothing gets better and nothing is improved. My depression becomes worse and worse, and when i think that this pattern will continue in the following years makes me sad and desperate. Suffering never ends…
Just a quick question to the community at large. Taking anti-depressants, anti-psychotics, and mood stabilizers during the day. Take benzos and sedatives at night to calm myself and help me sleep. Thing is, I’m been getting progressively more and more depressed, especially during the day. Feel like shit during the day too, kind of like a hangover. I’m starting to wonder if the benzos/sedatives are making things worse, almost sorry I started taking them. Anyone have any thoughts about this? Can they add to the depression? Any comments will be much appreciated.
I am wandering what is the purpose of living this torturing life if i have no aims or goals and ambitions for my future. I just think about my future and i can’t see something positive and give me a motive to fight for this future because my whole life was, is and will be fucked up forever. And my depression become worse and worse all the time.
A few days ago, very depressed, I went for a walk in search of a bridge. I’m in a new city and do not know where anything is. I traveled down a deadend road and wouldn’t you know it, I find train tracks. Not only that, I see a train coming. This was it. Here was my chance. To finally end it all after nearly twelve years of suffering with severe depression and suicidal thoughts and attempts. I waited on the train tracks as the train neared. But as I waited, all I could think about was the fact that I have terrible luck and […]