I want to die. I realize that this is a problem. But I dont know how to deal with it. I have cut myself in the past, along with starving myself. I dont know how to go on. I really dont. I do know that I cant give up just yet.
My life really to the average eye, isnt at all bad. But if someone would look deeper, they would realize that I live with a severely depressed mother, and an uptight dad that expects me to make miracles all the time. My mom, is always coming to me for said “help”. And its to much. The amount of times she has come to me saying “I want to die” are countless. I can’t handle her anymore.
I am in the I.B. at central high school. Which explains why my dad pushes me so hard. I have a horrible self image. I try to hide that though, and pretend nothing is wrong. My boyfriend knows to some degree that I am not all okay and happy all the time.
With both depression running in the family, and my dad always pushing me till I am in tears, saying that I am going to fail in life if i get just one bad grade, Â I am now a complete mess.
I need help. I need someone to help me. Because I really just don’t know what to do with my life anymore.
4 comments
Hi Ashley. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve read your post and hear how desperate you are feeling. I’m very pleased that you add that you know you can’t give up just yet, and that you need some help. Please confide your feelings and thoughts in an adult you can trust. Maybe seek counselling. It is wrong that your mother tells you she wants to die. That isn’t fair on you, and that, together with your dad pushing you to succeed, is enough to drive anyone to the edge. Would you be able, for instance, to talk to one of your teachers? It’s good that at least your boyfriend has some idea of what you are feeling.
My thoughts are with you Ashley. Sorry I can’t be of more help. Zx
Parents are often too caring, they put too much pressure on children. If you father will not change this, just know he is doing it out of love because he want’s you too succeed. Your mother shouldn’t be saying stuff like that to you, it’s not fair at all. It sounds like you and your mother need counseling.
I have one teacher i might be able to talk to . But not to the extent that I need. I have mentioned counseling to my dad, and he just says that I dont need it , and i can talk to him. Well, as some of you out there know, that can be difficult. To just open up like that to one of the people that is causing the problem.
Hi Ashley. I’m a teacher and I know that the I.B. program (International Baccaloreate) is really tough, so congratulations for being able to handle the enhanced curriculum. I hope you’re doing well at it. I think you need to have a discussion with your father. I don’t think he realizes the pressure that you’re under due to the I.B. program and having a mom who is suffering with mental illness. Your mom needs you. Please don’t give up.