yeah not sure staying off of SP is really gonna work for me..
December 2012
I said I wasn’t going to post a last post. I don’t know why I am other than the fact that I shut my email off again. This is not about anyone but me.  I have been up many nights trying to figure out the best way to do this.This should not even be as difficult as it was before. Thank you to those that gave me your time and attention.
Hello knife, is it time to go? Shall you lead me from the world? Shall we swim in a pool of blood, away from here for good?
Hello rope, is it time to leave? Will you guide me to the trees? We can swing from a branch, just you and me. I think im ready now let’s flee.
Hello pills, is it time for me? Just give it a moment and we will see. I think it’s time now for me to go, to slip away and be forever free.
Goodbye Life
Sincerely, Me.
So I was doing the whole social thing and hanging with my friend and he said I was a saddest that I make myself sad for no reason. He said that I was depressing to be around. And he is not wrong, in fact I think he hit the nail on the head.
I have come to a very clear realization, that is that I am bad for people. I have been preaching a message of love for a while now, but a few recent comments have brought me to my senses. I have been focusing on finding someone, but what is the point? I am a fucked […]
what would you like to talk about?’…..
i’m not sure why i’m posting this anywhere, since my view of everyone is that they’re all pointless in discussing things with or doing anything with.
I don’t believe anyone has any real power except those who are lucky enough to have had the right circumstances. I want to die so badly but can’t actually bring myself to making the jump off the building or in front of a fast truck. I can’t buy a gun, never seem to save the money for one or have the paper work filled out for a license.
It’s hard to not express how I feel, but it’s what has to be […]
I put a story up on this website a couple months ago, I was doing fine but for the past couple of days I have been crying. I have no reason to live, I am a *****, because all my friends like this girl but I hate her with a passion, she talks about herself all of the time and its so annoying, I am  going to fail all of my exams because I can’t remember anything I have learnt and I have asked my mum for help but she says she is too busy to help because she is cleaning and doing her uni […]
I guess we all have different reasons for being here. For me it keeps coming back to the same thing: I’m not convinced that life is a good thing.
All living things are born with some sort of survival instinct. But has anyone rationalized why we should want to live? I think it’s just some sort of selfish programming, like the desire to take whatever you want. In the case of taking things (stealing), we’ve learned to suppress that instinct. Mindless carnal instincts like rape & violence are mostly suppressed too. But still there’s that ridiculous “self preservation” thing that nobody ever questions.
Maybe I was born […]
i’m 28. currently unemployed and living with my mother. i just (on xmas eve) had my second consecutive miscarriage in less than two yrs (both different fathers, so it’s not a chromosome incapatibility) i’m beyond broken from this. ALL i think about is dying day and night. or getting so F’d up on pills so i don’tt ‘feel’ anymore but i can’t get any. my mother was supportive and comforting at first, then i got upset and called her a name. she wont let me forget it nor does she understand i did not mean it, i was hurt and taking my pain out on the […]
Do you live in circles too? Maybe squares or smth?
I live in little, tiny suicide circles. Soon enough everything comes back to it. And I’ve even found a decent way to do it, with pills that simply make your heart stop, if overdosed. It seems so unbelievably simple. I understand that it wouldn’t be painless  etc, but the fact of death – the possibility of dying to my damaged brain seems like a miracle, something magical.
There’s nothing for me here. I’m really ugly and not the only one who thinks that way, so it’s not my imagination. And, as you know, beauty in this world […]
Do you see how broken I am now? How lonely.., lost.., and terrified I am? Can you see the pain in my eyes now? The cracks and scratches? Tell me.. Do you understand now? Do you care now? Do you regret your hurtful words now? Do you regret your doubts now? I was scared and I just wanted you to be there I just wanted you to care and understand and you doubted me.. Humiliated me.. Mocked me.. the scars are here and they cant be erased. So thanks. For making this bigger than it really was.. And thanks for putting me through all this.. […]
I feel like I am hitting my head against the wall and I feel like IÂ just cant keep doing this anymore… I am running on the little reasons that I have. I am done trying.. my depression has held me back for a long time…I do not want too keep fighting this battle anymore….
Hey everyone most of you might know some of this but i really just need to get this out. No one really knows some of this stuff in my life but I need to get it off my chest.. I can’t carry this weight forever. and I can’t carry this weight alone. I trust so many of you on this site not to judge me or even respond but just to.. understand. Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense either.. I’m just trying to purge all of this information to maybe make more sense of it.. don’t worry it won’t be too long ill try […]
Hi all, just registered, found the site through some google work. Have been hospitalised for 7 months in February with a nervous breakdown/depression (not certain which, they never told me) after being on Xanax for years. Been back to work in October and had to go see a new psychiatrist for follow-up who subscribed me on Fluoxetine (Prozac). I was doing ok (relatively) before that but for some reason I’m now more depressed than before instead of vice versa. The medication also makes me highly nauseous, especially sick in the morning, and causes severe heart pain in the early hours of morning when lying in […]
Hey guys, I think I am going to stopposting things for now.. I will be back. But for now I think I am just going to read other peoples posts and comment on other peoples things and try to help them.
If you enjoy reading my posts then just wait a couple weeks and I will be back!
Disappearing for awhile might be a good idea!
Lots of Love to everyone out there! Best wishes!
I remember being afraid just to tell people that I got sad at times. They don’t care. They don’t want to be bothered with any of that.
Then it became depression, suicidal thoughts. I didn’t tell a soul. I bit my tongue. I held it in.
It got worse. I Couldent even function.
I asked for help when all they wanted to hear was that I did all of this for attention.
That I cut and made sure to never let the skin be visible.
That I lost the will to live, all for attention.
Therapy. Meds. They give you meds that make you […]
the pain we all feel is terrible and unfair..
but we all need to know that someone in there..
and even if were all far apart..
we can all feel each other in our hearts
the deepest darkest black we have all felt inside
sometimes the world is a place we despise
but we need to all love and have compassion for each other
cause we have all been through some pain one way or another
we all let it out weather we get high or cut to feel in control
but the power to stop the power to feel good we all behold
the […]
Well, some of you on chat knows me as CL and I’m just getting to the end of my tether here. And talk about timing. My mother and her partner have just announced their engagement last night and me, my sis and her fiancée only know at the moment. They’re all in their own happy worlds even though there are hardships here and there and there’s me wanting to kill myself. I got everything I need to go out via Carbon Monoxide and today or tomorrow seems like the only times when I get enough time to go through with it without being disturbed. I […]
Hi. I am a teenage girl. Over the last few months I’ve been under depression. I have suicidal thoughts. I really think that I do not deserve to live. I hate myself.. I am very ugly and have no talents. I’ve been bullied at school. I’ve heard so many horrible things about my appearance that really hurt my feelings. However I really agree with all those who call me ugly. I want to change, but I can’t. I cry every single day and night, I’m in great pain. I can’t stop these feelings. Because of being ugly I have no self-confidence ani I don’t […]
well just got out of my two week stay at the suicide part of the hospital, i feel even worse than before. I go through all this shame of being suicidal and all the dirty looks of the staff members when i dealt with them. Being suicidal sucks, i failed ten times before and the eleventh i think ive got it made but my mom found me too early and i lived then spent the next few weeks in a mental institution. God wont let me die and its fucking cruel!