pls am begging for your help i want to ride a taxi so with it i will help my family and society.i have no one to help me out.pls am begging you all to pls help me out.
March 2013
Last year was brutal for me. In a mere matter of months I found out my wife was having an afair. At first she said it was wrong, that she loved me, and that we would work things out. But she wouldn’t/couldn’t stop seeing him, and now wants a divorce and has left me and our kids to be with this guy. My kids hate me because they are angry and mom isn’t here to take it out on, so I get all the venom. They have said they hate me and wish I was dead. About the same time all this began to unfold, […]
recovery from depression has not been so much a return to health, as a learning process about dealing with my symptoms.
i find myself feeling very suicidal at times and overwhelmed with thoughts about suicidal planning. i have a lot of fantasy about cutting myself, and sometimes although i am working hard in my occupation, it feels like a part of my mind is very active in producing images about cutting myself deeply. i dont think these sorts of symptoms are ever going to go away. they are just going to always be here. i have wanted to lie down and die for as long as […]
So, I have a bff (she is a girl) who has been in love with a guy for almost 4 years, but she is too shy and insecure to even go talk to him, and he is very snob and arrogant, so she is afraid of rejection, anyways, this guy has a friend called G. And last year Idk but I felt a connection with G. He is A VERY VERY SWEET guy, and he is very shy too. I tried to approach him many times, and he was always very nice and kind. He used to spend his free time with his friends, and […]
Everyone needs someone at some point or the other. Who will make sure they are okay. That they are not falling apart. Someone who can hear all the heart has to say. Not to give solutions, but only to hear, to feel what’s going on inside you.
I have waited for long. And so many times I heard voices. Shadows looming up. Hope starts knocking. Yet I have accepted being empty handed. Empty then, empty now.
Sometimes, work absorbs me. Or else, I try to forget myself in others’ lives. Anything, but to feed that hope. It is a mirage. I know. But I too have […]
i guess….I guess You’ll leave too…well duh! they always do…but if your gone, so am I…
have fun “finding yourself” i guess, have fun never talking or seeing me again.
bye william. have fun with your life.
Its so bad, I cant take this all anymore. Â Its not temporary for me. Â I have been planning it for months now. Â I want my suicide to be painless because Im such a damn wuss. Â I was arrested for putting my arm around my daughters shoulders while watching tv and my hand brushed against her breast. Â They are calling that molestation. I have never touched her ever in a way inappropriate. Â I even made it a point to send their mom to the bathroom if the kids needed anything. Â I bonded out of jail while I am waiting on my trial. Â Only one person believes […]
People are so friggin aggravating. Â UGH.
It’s easy for me to give it and think that the world works against me. I’ve had 19 years of suffering in silence, . Day after day of constant disappointment, negative feedback, anxiety, confusion, and isolation. These things have all contributed to my unhealthy belief system still deeply ingrained in my mind.Â
No I’m not retarted, in fact, over the years I’ve realized I’m quite intelligent. I just feel the world a whole lot more intensely, so much that it hurts, feelings are so strong that they’re harder to change, imagine being x10 times more sensitive to everything that goes on. I easily absorb peoples energy, My […]
I wrote here 3 years ago about my pain and about my suicidal thoughts. When I look back at those days from now, I see a human that has fallen to betrayal, mental and emotional abuse. I was a kind, caring and loving person. I used to help people as much as I can and try to make things right. None at that time did really care but I did my best regardless. Then I was betrayed by my girlfriend and members of my family. Most friends did not seem really to care. Others just made things seem easy. Honestly speaking I was […]
People underestimate how much music means to me. They have no idea that music is the only thing keeping me from a mental institute. Music does so many things for me. It keeps the monsters of the night away, it pushes away all feeling cutting couldn’t. It keeps my anxiety down, and calms me when I need it. It’s the only thing I’m alive for. The depression, the anxiety, the eating disorders, the bipolar, the ADHD, the personality disorders, they’d all be 20 times worse without music.
And trust me when I say I’d be dead by now. Without music, I wouldn’t have that one song […]
im not going going but im leving my life behind for a copul days weeks mothe 1 year at the most ill probly find the strenth to go on with out the suffring or ill find the strenth to pull the trigger im not saying i will and if i am going to ill do it after i get back like a week after just to say goodbye n shit but yer im not saying im going to do it now but im off on a jorney o self help ill be on the mores on the streets at home to get food n shit […]
All the crazy emotional experiences have come and gone. Years has passed and time heals all wounds. Yet, here I am with all goals killed and/or died. I shouldn’t have made it through the experiences I experienced. Now here I am alive and empty. Somewhat like Salmon spawning. They swam upstream and laid their eggs. But unlike the salmon dying soon after, I’m still alive.
I’m not a young kid. I’m 50 and have a career. Here is my story. I lived the American dream. No, not a millionaire but I am ok making 89K a year. It all started about 5 years ago. At […]
I remember when i was what society called happy, like, genuinely happy. a time when I didn’t feel like the world was blurred, like I was just a ghost. I felt, normal i guess. I was nine. that was it. nine years old. and then i just…faded.
I recall how I’d walk into the doors, I’d hear everyone talking, everyone would be with their friends. And me? I’d struggle just to convince someone that they could talk to me. I wasn’t well liked for God knows why. I guess people just needed an outlet to put all their hate, sadness, anger, and shit in. They chose […]
It seems people don’t
care anymore.
Every night I cry, waiting for the day when my suffering ends. But I can’t wait. Its alnost my birthday, but what do I get? Beatings and insults that’s what. My name meant happy. But I never feel that way anymore. I was never destined for happiness. My name should have meant suffering.
This as been eating at me all day! How the hell is she about to let you finger her in school? No. Nasty. Ewh. Tf? Stay classy hunn. You last had sex in a school room? Sendin naked pictures.. don’t get me wrong i’ve had sex. but not in school!
So I know these things to be true…
>I need a concrete game plan to work from…sort of like a “mind map” which tells me the possible outcomes of actions that I could choose from
>I feel as if I am not connected to the world without a purpose for my days
>i have lost my purpose in life since I am no longer someones wife, someones girlfriend, someones mother…. still searching for it though….
>Have come up with a plan for schooling, I wish I had lots of people to encourage me in this new plan for myself, I wish I had someone […]
Well, this is me, Brandilinn, I know its hard to believe that a  girl like me cab have all these  problems going on, well I’m  living proof of it. I really don’t understand why all this shit happens to me. I may have all these things going on, but I do have self confidence. Never have I once thought I wasn’t pretty enough for someone, but I have thought I wasn’t good enough, especially my family. Maybe the reason all of these things happen to […]
I am a dreamer, I admit. I am not always realistic. That’s a fact. I followed my dreams. I was never afraid to chase after the crazy ideas in my head. The processes has been painful. I have failed again and again, yet managed to slip by. I watch as my grades hit catastrophic lows and my social life deteriorates. All of my dreams are slipping through my fingers. Why can’t I do what everyone else can? I am intelligent. I am creative. I have endless possibilities. …But that’s all they’ll ever be… possibilities. While I could write a poem that would bring you to […]