The worst fear in my life is not that i will lead a lonely life but that the loneliness will drive me insane.
Even when I am in the midst of a huge crowd, a familiar crowd of friends and relatives, that feeling of loneliness creeps in and sometimes pushes me into that unholy pool of madness… where the first impulse is to hide from everyone, the second is a strong desire to run away from everything and everyone,and then i get caught up in a feeling of despair… at how helpless and useless i am and then the doubts about why i am here to suffer. Then i am plagued by the need to end my existence but there the struggle begins as i lack the courage to kill myself …
My mind squirms under the pressure it created all by itself .. I will do anything to stay sane… I don’t want to be a lunatic with no control over my thoughts… i know i am a failure but i pray that my sanity will not fail me…Before i go completely mad i must somehow muster the strength, either to end my life or to keep the madness at bay …. i don’t know how … but i will… I just cannot bring shame on myself or my family by being totally unsound of mind… I hold on to my sanity by the barest of threads… Anyways i know i can because i have to … there is no choice… i have to and i will….
10 comments
I felt this way today. I was crying so bad I was pukeing. Im usually an independent person but im constantly worried that I will be completely alone. I hate the constant anxiety. If you need someone to talk to you im here.
Well dude Jesus is the real answer to this..
That’s such a profoundly incorrect statement that i can’t even believe the person who typed it was capable of typing at all.
Where is Jesus? If Jesus was ever “real,” he was just a man with some good ideas. He’s dead now, has been for a long time.
So, how is a dead man “the real answer” to anything?
You can’t just go around saying “because jesus” to every question, and attempting to solve every problem with “faith.”
It’s UNREAL.
Sir Jesus rose from the dead. He is God. Jesus is in Heaven and He will return one day to take those who believe in Him to Heaven.
That is quite an outrageous claim, Sir. I rather strongly doubt it is true. Might you care to provide evidence to support your statement? I don’t see any reasonable justification to believe such a thing is true, so i’m wondering how you managed to become convinced. I question your judgement. I do not think your perspective is valid. I think you are, sadly, misguided, and possibly heading for a huge disappointment in your future, should the thought ever occur to you that you can’t really know that what you think is true, is.
@ Helovesyou
Do you have any idea what the ‘H’ stands for in Jesus H Christ? It’s something I’ve always wondered but no one has ever been able to provide a satisfactory answer.
may your faith save you
what the hell are you talking about???
HeLovesyou has a point, but he went about it all wrong. Tactfulness my friend! @ the writer to this point, your words brought tears to my eyes. I used to think the same way and there’s a small part of me that still feels that way, but I’m happier than ever. I would love to talk to you, please email me at marlene.j.salvatore@gmail.com whenever you can
i meant the “@ at the writer to this POST” (to be or not to be)