Friday night I was really lonely and texted everyone I know who goes to my college to find someone to hang out with, or even just to come outside for a little bit to have a cigarette. It wasn’t that late, around 11, and not one of the 10 people I texted wanted to or could. Then one friend texts back and invites me to his friends. We just played pong and drank beers all night, and eventually my friend went home; his other friend was going to walk me home because it’s not a good area to walk around alone. It’s around 2am, his friend is ready to leave, and I wasn’t tired, asked the guy who lived there what he was going to be doing, and asked if he wanted to hang out as friends, being I don’t sleep with people. I’m straight up about it. He agreed, he was just going to be drinking beer all night, so we hung out. Sniffed two addies each, pretty drunk on beer, we just sat outside, smoked cigarettes and had deep heart-to-hearts all night. Completely innocent. Adderall sometimes does that, makes me open up, as well as him, so we talked about everything. I even talked about my cutting and eating disorders, about suicide. It was nice, I thought I had a friend. He made me promise I would never cut myself again and to call him if I ever felt like it, and that we’re friends now. We went to play some xBox and around 9am he fell asleep. We were laying in bed together and that was it. Nothing happened more than him kissing my scars making me promise I’d never do it again. It was innocent and completely in a caring way, nothing romantic at all. He talked about this girl all night; he’s 23, and they’ve been dating on and off since they were 17. I fell asleep for about a half hour that morning and this girl comes barging in his room. Turns out it was his not-with-at-the-time girlfriend who was clearly pissed and just stormed off. I begged him to unlock his phone so I could call her and tell her nothing happened or anything, but he was so out of it after drinking beer all day and night and the adderall crash, so I walked back to campus to go to work. My friend that originally invited me over asked if I stayed the night at his friend’s house, I said yes, he asked if I slept with him, I said no, and he says his girlfriend is pissed. I said no we drank beer all night and just stayed up and talked, nothing happened, if you want you can give me her number so I can call her and explain. I planned on telling her a bit of what I told him to explain it better and how he talked about her a lot, but my friend said he’d just handle it. I really thought this guy was my new friend, something I have trouble finding at college. I texted him last night asking is everything was okay with his girlfriend. He never answered, so I guess I didn’t have a friend in him. I rarely open up to anyone, but when I do, it’s the shitty people who leave, who pretend to care and be nice.
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Most sit-coms seem to be based around misunderstandings. People will misread a situation and make assumptions which often aren’t true. It’s funny to watch as an observer but not so fun when you’re the one who’s been falsely accused.
It’s frustrating trying to explain yourself when the other party is convinced that they know the truth, when in reality they don’t. Oh well.
I just thought I found a friend is all
You have to admit that talking all night and lying in bed with someone is a pretty intimate scene, whether anything sexual actually happened between you two.
You listened to him talk about his girl and figured “He and I are just friends, there’s nothing wrong,” and from your perspective everything was innocent – but he probably hung out with you because he wasn’t getting the attention he wanted from her. If he had, he would have been in HER bed, not with you.
If you walked in on a boyfriend in a bed with another girl, you’d probably think “He must be on the verge of cheating,” even if he and the girl hadn’t had sex or anything. So yeah, that would cause problems.
It’s also common for people to open up to you and spill their guts, because you’re a stranger, they don’t know you, and they never have to see you again if they don’t want to. Every time something like that happened to me, where you become too close, too fast, either I run away, or they do, or we both do, or we don’t even bother exchanging numbers because we know it’s a one-time occurrence.
Friendships don’t happen overnight, and those magical moments where you feel like you instantly connect with someone are usually destined to remain that one magical moment which never repeat themselves with that person again. It sucks, yeah, but don’t give up, I’m sure you’ll find some real friends who will stick around. Remember – to have a friend, you have to be a friend. You gotta make an effort if you want others to reciprocate.
Well that made me feel shitty not gonna lie.. I straight up told him like if you want to hang out as friends, let’s do it, but if you want to booty call someone, I’ll go back to campus. He said he wanted a friend. I don’t know, I’m dumb I guess..
your “friend” sounds alot like me.. sorry he turned out to be a dick
I wouldn’t say he’s a dick, I’m just sad he didn’t want to talk anymore I guess, or didn’t answer.
Sorry… :/ It’s just human nature, often when people feel neglected by their p.artners they’ll accept someone else’s company to temporarily “fill the void”. It doesn’t sound like he wanted a “booty call” if he didn’t make a move on you, but he wouldn’t have done all that with a guy, for instance (unless he were gay). I think he felt lonely and wanted a chance to talk about his girlfriend, and again, he couldn’t ramble on about her with a guy friend or he’d be mocked. I’m sure he meant his offers of friendship at the time, but once he was sober and had to deal with his girlfriend’s fury, he realized he probably shouldn’t be hanging around other chicks like that. It happens (if you think about it, it’s possible you might recall doing this to someone in the past yourself, as I know I’m personally guilty of it), but I know it sucks to be the person who’s left disappointed.
It wasn’t all about his girlfriend, we talked about a lot. Childhood, suicide, parents, body issues. He just mentioned her a few times, didn’t endlessly talk about her. More just said she cheated on him in the past, he loves her, her mom died and she was like a mom to him and it really affected him.
fair enough. you never know just give it a day or two and see what happens. hes probably trying to smooth things over with his girlfriend.
As others pointed out here, you don’t make close friends overnight (literally in this case). It takes time to understand another person’s mind and it’s very risky even dangerous to automatically trust someone that you just met. Things are more likely to go bad, then to be great.
Also be careful in spilling your guts out to others-he could’ve taken you personal confessions and told everyone in your group and you’d become a laughingstock or who knows what else.
I’ve just learned in life most people are much more scummy, evil and strange than we realize-even your own blood/family members can turn on you.
I used to be a lot nicer in the past-very generous and kind. But people just take you for granted and disrespect you as well as use you for their own gain. Now I’m more of an asshole-if I find someone worthy of my care, I treat them well, anyone that betrays me, I get them right back in any way I can. I wish I didn’t have to be this way but I’ve begun to despise people in general because they despicable, self-serving ingrates and lowlives.
What his girlfriend perceives as intimate and non acceptable, you and his boyfriend didn’t perceived as intimate and non acceptable. Its a difference of perception. his boyfriend should have taken into consideration of hers perception and not spend time with you like that intimately.
The more number of people you open to, the more is the chances that you will get a right person to open to. Don’t give up. And forget all that.