Last time i posted was 2013 … but I’m back . and I’m tired

Im tired of all this fucking shit. all these people. I hate this world. I hate being stupid and trying so hard to catch up and create opportunities for myself. I hate my home. it’s tense most of the time. I can’t do shit. i want to go back to college but then i find myself struggling and being sad for not being able to make friends. I come from a tough background and these white rich kids have been given everything to them. it sucks. i hate my life. i want to end it. i haven’t cut in about a month and a half. DURING college i probably created the biggest scars on my wrists. i look at them everyday. i try my best to cover them. also how do i tell my doctor in a nice way to give me pills? I haven’t been diagnosed with depression but just by writing on this website it’s safe to assume that I HAVE DEPRESSION.