I don’t think this is just me, but I’m not sure. Yesterday, I was having quite an excellent day. I am a pretty darn busy person, so being able to have some down time in my room was cool. I didn’t really have anything to do- and all the sudden, all I wanted to do was cut. I tried to run away from the feeling so I went to the gym to run it off. I came home, and was yet again consumed by the desire to cut. I wasn’t sad, depressed, or angry- it was just a reoccurrence of an old habit. Unfortunately, I gave into it. Quite a bit. Now I can’t wear running shorts, and my work-out partner is concerned (I get super hot when I work out) and I don’t know what to do because I think about it every day. Thoughts?
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2 comments
It’s not just you. I used to be the same. Having something to turn to when the desire comes up again could help train your mind to turn away from it as an option. Exercise is a great alternative but you can’t always do it. Maybe repeat a mantra or focus on your breathing, until you can get involved with some other activity. I hope the urge to cut leaves you soon. I know it’s hard, really hard.
I don’t know that I have any suggestions for avoiding it. Cutting is a hard thing to stop, and the feeling never quite goes away. After high school, I stopped for about 15yrs and then last year during the holidays I struggled so much that I just couldn’t keep from doing it anymore.
I hope you can find a way though. I know it’s hard, but I hope you can find the strength to do something else rather than hurt yourself. I hope you can take a deep breath and move forward. I hope you can heal internally without needing to heal
externally.
And I don’t feel bad about not being able to wear running shorts. I’m sure most people would like to get super hot when they work out. 😛