Pretty soon the time is coming for me to leave. I began doing things to ensure that I will lead a peaceful life ahead. I deleted all useless photos, chats and notes. I am spending the last six weeks breaking every bond I have with another human being. For all traces to be removed, and there will not be a single hint as to my existence in the light. I am not popular so no one will care when I’m gone. I don’t have friends or loved ones here so one will be sad. No party is needed because no one will attend. No goodbyes should be said because no one will even notice me going. I will not be missed. And finally, no one will send me away because I have no friends.
How amazing could it be? How wondrous could life me? I survived death, lived for two years in a facade of lies, and this is where I end up. Again.
The light is NOT the ultimate goal. For some people, for me, it is a sad realization of how broken and empty I am. There is also sadness there. I do NOT believe in heaven. For nothing is exact, and there could never be a place that holds only happiness, nor sadness.
So I am back here… again. When I wake up in the morning I jump out of my bed, eagerly going to the bathroom to brush my teeth, humming some tunes. For this is the life I was meant to led; this is the person I was born to be. And it took me 20 years to realize that fact.