Hi I’m celina, I am 14 years old, and I have a problem And I think I need help. It all started four years ago ,I was 11 at that time in 6th grade. In the mid way of the school year ending, I thought about cutting . I thought it would be a very odd for some one to cut them self , and I want to know why and how does it feel and what do you use? All question in my head so I did at least try it. I used a pin and well no blood just a white line , because I wuss out before even doing it. On the day 31 2011 of October,
I finally cut myself, it happen because of my bigger sister she said some pretty fuck up shit and I got mad because of that, made me realize how useless I am to the world, it felt great, not going to lie I love that feeling its like pleasuring yourself, it didn’t make feel sick it made me feel better. So I cut for the past weeks and months non stop I don’t regret it. For the past Four years I’ve been cutting, I didn’t do it for the pain mostly to see the blood, I was 14 and around April I cut again and it was worst and very bad deep cut and it a scar. It took at least four days for it to heal , I remember when I was in math class it started bleeding , and so I asked the teacher if I can have a bandage and he saw them all of it. And told the guidance counselor on me and well she told my mom. It felt like pain knowing my mom has to know. So I stop for at least two months tried getting myself a boyfriend to get my mind off things, not cutting feels horrible my chest hurts I stop eating for a while and I couldn’t cry . I felt as if I was drowning in depression , so I thought of way of killing myself ive never wanted to kill myself but it just felt worst everyday, I couldn’t handle it , but when I cut I feel so much better. 25 2015 of November I was sad and depressed and I actually want to go and kill myself just ending my life in mins but I didn’t have enough pills so instead I cut wasn’t deep enough. It’s getting worst everyday , I really do need help…
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So youre addicted to cutting.
Cutting only works because when we bruise/cut our brain releases chemicals to ease the pain.
These chemicals also have the additional effect of easing emotional pain.
So that high feeling is achieved.
As for looking at the blood , it differs from person to person. I love, a friend of mine ,who also cuts, she doesnt.
Having said that, you wont stop cutting till you find why you cut, whats the emotional pain.
And youre 14, i am sorry to say, but youre not old enough to analyze yourself. Dont get me wrong, youre old enough to be sad, not old enough to know why.
Ill suggest talk to people who you can trust, or talk to people here on SP.
As for me i know all that cus well, i cut for the past 6 months(17 yrs old right now), and now i have stopped.
Take care, and i am here if you wanna talk.
Thank you , but there is no one to trust I just want to know how to stop the suicide thoughts
You can reach me on my email anytime you want.
sui_rc@yahoo.com
Hi Celina. Get some help. Someone you can trust. I don’t know who that is, but maybe you do. You’re not alone…maybe a suicide hot line would be a good start. Samaritans are a good organization. Call them..talk it out. Google their number. All calls are anonymous and confidential.
I don’t feel comfortable talking on the phone with someone that I don’t know I care really trust people, I just simply want to know how to stop the suicide thoughts
PsychoCelly666, do not cut yourself i repeat do not cut yourself! not a good habit! i’d rather see you running in circles right into a wall! 🙂 seriously stop thinking about it think of something else!
But how do I do that
PsychoCelly666,
PLAY A GAME! when the thoughts come in your head say to yourself what am i doing! stop that! and get busy doing something else.
That hard
Rocketman offers some valid advice, I know what he’s suggesting as thought redirection. There are specific mental triggers in your head that make you want to cut, if you can turn these into something positive there’s a chance the urge will go away. It isn’t easy, I’ve been dealing with an addiction myself and it’s an absolute ***** to do, but it’s the best advice I have to give to you or anyone. Good luck.
PsychoCelly666,
anything that’s hard is worth getting! fight!
I think you could try changing your subconscious fixation on something else. Each time you feel the urge to cut yourself, you can try doing something else, for example you can do 10 quick push ups, take a 30 second break and do another 10. They will increase your heart rate, which will flush out the chemicals which makes you want to do it. This whole procedure will take you just around 3 minutes. And if needed again later in the day, it can be repeated again.
Or you could try playing a guitar. People won’t tell you this but it actually hurts playing it, especially in the beginning or if you haven’t played for a long time, so you may like it, but the pain goes away after few weeks of playing, so this could be a great therapy for you. You will keep getting your dose of “pain meds” from your body, but they would lower it’s dose as your fingers get accustomed to the strings.