THE END IS FINALLY COMMiNG

So a few days ago the last reason for me to live disappeared. The girl i loved and thought she loved me too, through me out of her room so she could have sex with another guy. I didn’t go to work this week i just could not stand seeing anyone. Now there are no more excuses not to do it. No more hope, and no more reason to go on. Plus if i kill myself i’ll give 3 more persons a reason to do it to. 3 pearsons who have no more reason to live, not with me and not without me. Just make them free of their pain. I wisch things would not bi as they are but there’s nothing i can do any more. I wisch the night would never end, that everyone would just sleep for ever and leave me alone. I can’t think of anything else but suicide. I’m happy there’s noone to talk to, i’m all alone in my apartment. I spent the last 3 weeks constantly high. I’m still smoking but i don’t feel high anymore. I haven’t slept much but i’m wide awake, with an overactive mind  thinking of all kinds of things. I just found my old surmontil boxes, i got staples of them. I wonder how many i need to take to achieve my goal that is the end. I don’t know 10-30 let’s just take a box or two.  I’m ready now swallow them like tic tacs, take me away. just smoking and waiting for the effects to come. I’ll just start drinking some single malt, i heard that it will help to end it. When the cops find this i wish this to be red to my ex. Shie should know why i did it. I never wanted revenge. i haven’t spoken to anyone in days, i can’t stand the thought of doing it. THE END IS FiNALLY COMMING