though my will shall never break, but it will bend…….

I have a friend, and our relationship had grown into something more. I have known that she has leukemia that has been in remission for a few years, but it’s back. After a long conversation she told me that she love’s me, and…. I have to say I love her too. Even with the things going on in our lives, I still assured her I was here for the long haul. I don’t want her to feel alone or like she has to face this alone like she did the first time. After a divorce that completely crushed me, I stayed alone for a year to heal myself before she came into my life. The day that she told me that she loved me, ( and vice versa )I asked her to take care of my heart, it’s been broken so many times and there’s not much of it left, but I’m giving it to you anyways, and she swore to me ” I promise to always take care of it, nobody will ever hurt it again ” and not too long after that she walked away without so much as an explanation or goodbye. Haha, heart broken yet again, but such is life I guess. I got a call today from her today, told that she had made a terrible mistake, but didn’t want to put me through what she’s going through, but I’m a big boy I said. I know what I signed up for, and that I wanted to be by her side through this no matter what the outcome may be. Now I’m torn, and not only that. I was listening to some of my favorite music, and the lyrics in one song said, ( though my ” will ” shall never break, but it will bend. Like the scars that heal, but never mend ) WOW !!!! my exact feelings put to music lol. Again there’s a few people here that know me and my story here, and I haven’t posted anything in a minute because I have been so angry lately and now this. And even though I’m stilled pissed at the world, im confused now. Because part of me wants to tell her to go ” FUCK HERSELF ” and part of me still wants to walk this journey with her so that I can make sure that sheI never feels alone, but none of me trust her. Lmfao, anyways, that’s the end of my rant. I hope everyone has the greatest of days. 🙂 🙂 🙂