Courage 2 (quit/proceed)

Ever let the anxiety sink ,the rage boil up
Ferment the pain, and bottle it up
Reflecting on the past like it ain’t slow enough
Mom’s always sad that I ain’t growing up
Pills help me cope but I’m still fucking up
Fuck going outside, the moon aint show enough
I laugh about death like I ain’t dark enough?
Friends ran away? I guess they stalked enough?
Fam patient with my death like who’s taking what?
keep a sharp angle, latitudes of my cuts
Force you to be strong like you ain’t had enough
have the nerve to ask what’s wrong…
God ain’t fucking real so I burned up my psalms
Picking up fragments of a man who dont belong
You gave me herpes, and made me feel wrong
can’t trust shit so I’m stuck in a Mary J song
On top of cancer, I’m tryna find answers
Cutting don’t hurt so just tell me what’s faster
Tried so many times I’m a suicide master
Kalashnikov clashers, American dancers
“Go join the army” but I’m weaker then Prancer
Tell me just do it like checks don’t matter
Outside input or some radio chatter
above my head banging till the CO answer
Commission Orders you to just get well faster
Drugs are our god, sobriety’s a disaster
Kill my own courage just to birth a eulogy
If I die who I take? Probably piece of you and me