i love my boyfriend but…. he recently almost killed himself. if it werent for me calling the police he’d be dead. but now he’s mad and im sick of all this shit. i mean i love him but i cant handle this anymore. but if i break up with him he’ll kill himself. plus i know my other friend c. will ask me out and i like him. nowhere near as much as my current bf but i do like him and couldnt say no. and then my current bf would try to beat up c. (and hurt himself in the process because he’s not exactly strong) and then kill himself. and i cant let him kill himself. he’s my best friend in the whole world and without him here i would die.
i dont know what to do.
1 comment
most things on here i don’t know what to say to, but i do hear this kind of thing with my friends often enough and have dealt with it in reverse in my own life (I was the suicidal one and my bf couldn’t handle it anymore) so if you are really looking for advice i do have some.
First of all, you should NEVER be with someone that you don’t want to be with. My friend does it all the time, she is worried about her bf slipping back into drinking and suicidal tendencies if she leaves, but she isn’t into it anymore and it takes a big toll on her. she loves him, but she isn’t IN love with him anymore. if you do not feel happy in a relationship, you should never feel trapped. However, i do think that you have to be very very sensitive about it, especially in this situation. i think you need to take time and separate it out and wait until the right time. don’t do it when he is being irrational or acting crazy. that is very dangerous for both of you. When I was suicidal and my boyfriend couldn’t handle it anymore, he told me he needed to think, he talked to me much less for about 2 months and then when he saw me next in person and i was a little more stable, he broke up but made it clear that he did still love me and he wanted to be friends. it’s all in how you do it, the timing, and the sensitivity.
Second of all, if C is a friend of your bf then you might not want to go that route. If he is not a friend of your bf, you might still want to wait a few months before you go public with C because it is very heartbreaking to the current bf to see you move on so quickly, even if he were stable emotionally. Also, if you do not like C as much as your current bf, don’t get together with him just to be with someone. Give yourself time to grow and heal and move on and then settle in with another person once you found someone you really really really like, not just someone you are sort of interested in who is interested in you.
Ok, i’m done with advice now. I hope that was helpful.