Whenever i attempt a relationship, i sabotage myself n assume he can do better and get someone skinnier and prettier than me. So now hes pissed off and is going to bed because i kept tryin to push him away. For some reason i feel like people are “settling” when they try to choose me. Because numerous exs in the past always saw me as a rest stop on their way to somethin better. And my inner self doesnt want to be treated like that ever again. Kinda why ive been single since 2011. I feel like being alone is better for me because it keeps me sane, theres no competition, and i dont have to worry about bein cheated on. But i also hate bein alone because id like someone to come “home” to. Wtf is wrong with me? Why am i so complicated? Damaged? Why do i keep making men mad at me?