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I came across this website when I was 14, depressed, and suicidal beyond belief. Listening to everyone on here as well as my own problems made me want to devote my life to helping people who are depressed, lonely, and just in pure agony.
I’m 21 now, but I still want to help people who feel the same way I used to (and sometimes still do).

My question to you is:
What would help you most right now?
Is it seeing a psychologist, going on meds, just having a friend, getting out of a shitty situation, what? Literally all responses are appreciated.

I have nothing.. No one cares about me, I don’t enjoy anything anymore, and I have no future. The one thing that I had was the idea that I would go to college and get some degree in psychology and help people who have mental disorders or who are suicidal. But I don’t think I can handle college and I can’t be outgoing and help people that way, I just can’t. And my biggest regret is that I didn’t kill myself last year. I’m trying to right now though because I just can’t take it anymore, I shouldn’t be alive..

I am overwhelmed with sadness & emptiness & loneliness & all I do is cry & my heart feels like it’s going to fall out of my chest and I get anxiety over every little thing and I’m just done.

This life has stopped feeling real years ago, and occasionally I get little glimpses of life, but usually I just feel numb. This is so incredibly frustrating and painful and I just wish I could die already because It’s pretty fucking obvious that I’ll never be happy again.

I keep trying, and I keep failing, and I’m just one huge failure that should have killed herself years […]

So I have posted on here quite a few times, but I’ve never actually written about my life and I feel like it would really help me right now if I did. So here it is:

It all basically went downhill at the age of 13. Prior to that, my life was pretty average for a dorky kid like me. At 13, I started to get really annoyed at the fact that all of my best friends would hang out and exclude me. I talked to them several times about it, but nothing changed so one day I got really mad at one of them and […]

Everyone I try to make friends with leaves. I’m always a second fucking choice and it really pisses me off because I know I’m a good friend, but nobody cares about me. I am so tired of being lonely and ignored and overlooked all the time. I just want to have a friend, that actually cares about me. And everyone just thinks “oh she’ll be fine.“ My parents especially. They’ve always paid attention to my brothers because I’ll be just fine.. And I’m not fucking fine. I’m trying so hard to hold it together but Goddammit why doesn’t anyone care about me?!! My mom thinks […]

I am trapped between living and dying.

I don’t know why I keep fooling myself into thinking that I will ever get better. It always gets worse. I just want all of this pain to go away. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to be happy, I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve been depressed for over 3 years now, and I’m almost 17, and I see no future for me. I’m too much of a coward to end it, but I feel like I should kill myself now. Now seems like a really good time. I shouldn’t be so afraid, I […]

Everytime my life gets better, it gets twice as bad after that. Like I’m taking 1 step forward and two steps back. It’s pointless. I still don’t see the point in living. I am trying to get help for my depression. It’s been about a year now, and still, no one knows.

And what really pisses me off is when people say suicide is selfish, and they expect you to stay alive just so they won’t feel guilty. So you can be their mannequin. But they have no idea what you’re going through. They don’t know what it’s like to struggle to survive. If they had […]

The ones who want to die are stuck on this earth, and the ones who have everything and are doing fine are the ones who dies in accidents. So maybe if I pretend to love life I will die. Who am I kidding, I’m gonna live forever and I’m gonna suffer forever. No one even wants me around.
I HATE LIFE.

So I know I was all happy because things were getting better. But they’re getting bad again.

I can’t go to Canada because it’s too expensive. So now I am staying here all summer and my mom expects me to be social. It’s not much to ask if I was normal. But I’m not and she’ll never understand because I can’t tell her about my depression. I gave her all the clues, I tried to tell her but all that came out was "I don’t want to talk to people." She’s clueless. I’ve even cut myself and she hasn’t noticed.(I’m not doing that for attention. I […]

I want to be myself
But my depression won’t let me
It’s like some monster that has captured me
I’m not the same
It forbids me to have any fun
It wants me dead
And it gets rid of anyone that stops that feeling
That feeling that you’re not worth anything
And even the simple things
That make you happy
It makes sure you don’t enjoy them
It makes me hate the sight of anyone
But mostly
It makes me hate life
And wish I was never even born.

People underestimate the power of this monster
They don’t see what it does to someone
How it […]

I can’t do this, I just can’t. I’m terrified to be myself because I will only be punished for it. But by pretending to be someone else I’m punishing myself. (I’m not just talking about pretending to be happy.) This is torture. I’m already a coward as it is, I don’t need this discouraging me.  But I’ve gotta try, for me. They don’t need to know anything about me..

After all, even if all of my smiles and laughs are fake it’s better to pretend I’m happy, because it’s the closest I’ve ever get to ever being happy again.

My mom fucking wants me to go to my brother’s girlfriend’s grad party. ”it would be nice since she’s so nice to you.” fuck no. she ignores me except for when she’s laughing at me. she makes me feel like shit. why would I go to her party where she’s just gonna make fun of me and I’m gonna have to take her shit because she’s ”such a wonderful person, she’s so nice.” no she’s not!

I seriously can’t take it anymore! I’m so glad that school’s over. I don’t have to leave the house, I don’t have to eat, I don’t have to put on […]