My dad will not talk to me. I told him I would be there at 3 o’clock. I got there at 5 o’clock. He was pissed at me and told me that not to worry. He was going to do everything. Well itryed talking to him and he blows me off. I give it time, but I can’t take it. I told my mother who was also at the game that I was sorry I messed up again. I also said I should be a actor cause I have to take all my far’s BS. And just hold it in.no matter how much he makes […]
Nikki
Nikki
My name is Nicole, no big surprise there, like some people life Here in my "happy" home sucks. My mind wonders what it would be like if i just go away. to many times i wonder how and when i would or should kill myself or if I'm just supposed to sit here. If you want something just ask or email me at : npazdra@gmail.com laters maybe
Am I crazy?
I cant seem to write anymore. Everytime I do I get mixed up. Most will think well you wrote this…but thats the thing. It is taking days to right this. Saddness is over running me and were I thought I had it worked out, I dont. I started popping again. For now it just bars. Hell I am thinking about goin back to weed. Everything seem to be bet……….i did care if people called me a slut or a whore. I didnt care if I had no friends…if u were a stoner people just were ok with u and thats all I […]
thats all i can think about right now as i cry cause of bs i take cause for some sick reason i take the shit from my parents and everyone ells. i think “O it will get better” it dosen’t. JUNE is just a mouth but it’s in my mind all the time. i HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life will only hit with you what you can handle…. Right? Wrong! The world seems to push people down then drown them. Funny how most begg to live. While some beg for death at every turn. I will live untill I am done with what needs to happen.
Thinking on all this I wonder were my soul might go. Another life? Hell? Will I be found? What will they think?
I hope I can say that in my death one person will smile and wish me luck. While life drowns me I will wait. I need to be sure of one thing first. Then the darkness […]
Need a little help with like or love idk which
When is the last time you listen to a kid. It seems anyone under the age 21 is not listen to. Hell in schools all around the country, kids can get drugs knives and guns in because people don’t seem to listen. Teens, are viewed as young adults as long at they do what there told. What happens when that teen gets a mind and sees that the teachers are just telling us crap. Don’t you understand? You say your a friend to your kid and they can come to you but when they do all you do is yell and make them out to […]
Life is getting harder then I thought is would. Friends have left. I knew they would. Because of a b**ch that thinks she is everything I am almost friendless. I know I am ranting again but really? All I hear at school is what a hooker I am. How can someone be a hooker if they haven’t been laded period. I hate this shit. Hell my mom can’t even keep herself healthy. My dad is working 24/7 and my brother can’t even come 100 ft near my mom and I or my dad goes nuts.
Even on top of that I am lonely.
I […]
I don’t understand. A couple of days ago I was out with my friend and her family having fun at a dance hall in the country side of Texas. I didn’t know how to dance and I ask guy to teach me. My friend who is very shy when it comes to guys asked me to ask the guy I had danced with to dance with her. I do and she after half a dance sat down. She likes him and I was happy for her. I continue to dance with the guy (Lets name him Guy 1) and his friends. I was having […]
The world around you is falling and Life seems to vanish. People are running by. The cries they scream are no longer there. The night grows longer and longer. The main thing is that being alone sucks. I look around for someone and silently call for help. To bad you’re not there to help. You call and say you will be late but never even show. I’ll cry inside and not tell a soul. You will never know the nightmares that are there every day. Three hours tonight, hopefully I’ll have more tomorrow. People are all around and yet I feel so small. I’m not […]
Days started to finally have meaning. With a job and two friends to talk to everyday, everything is ok. For now. My parents are fighting all the time but thankfully the car is getting me out, but the thing that pisses me off the most is the shit I find out about my own family. My mom hates me because my dad is treating me better then my brother. My dad hates and does not want anything to do with him and lastly my brother is behind a shooting at my house that got me shot. I feel so loved. WRONG!!!I fight everyday to just […]
Another day of feeling like shit. What can I say I’m good at it? All I ever really here is how bad I am and can do. Here is my story.
When I was little life could do no harm. Ya there were […]
I am have not given up but i think my dad might. he is the only thing that has been keeping me ok and with him at the end of his rope. Truthfuly i am scared that he won’t pull through this bad time. I know that now that he is giving up i will have to take on another load of work and i must be the strength in this family. i am willing and i will do anything i can and must to keep this family together. even if it mean pulling and pushing me to the end of my rode. I […]
Why is it that love suck? The thing that gets me is that even if u don’t want them if they start loving someone and if u keep talkin to them u are still heart broken. I want to cry and yell to the heavens but I know it is my fault that we are not US but it hurts again. What can I do?
The heart bleeds and crys
What can I do
The tears of blood go down and I still stand
If I fall will I be caught
I scream and plead to be helped
HELP PLZ HELP
What can I do
I […]
to often i see ppl run from there past and hidefrom there future. the biggest mistake is to run and never look back. if u dont look back u cant see where u have been and how much u have done. the think is they dont want to b/c they have fallen so low that life seem umbaruble. but if u fall the only way to go is up. i love that ppl fall but if can be amazing to watch them climb up.
thing is life is not what ppl make of it. ppl seem to think that if u wait and let life […]
Has anyone ever had to see the one they love.. love someone els. do u know the heartbreak an the tears that come with it. i think that everyone who has felt this dose one of two things
One: die inside but show the world that ur ok
or
Two go insane.
why dose this heart ripe apart and shatter into a million shards.
“I love you!” is a sick ass joke that asshole made up. there is no love there is no soul mate and there sure as hell no one that can protect you. so i say dont trust and so […]
Ppl will fall and ppl will rise. the good thing is there are then ppl who will not only help but lift you up with here own problems.the light of the world grows on that and if you are good and the angels are nice that day then you will grow with the world. but then if the angels never come around and the demons seem to pile up then the only thing to do is fight back. No mater what it is not right to surender and lay down. if by surendering you give up what make you you then your squewed.
The life of a person in school can be horrible and can go one of two ways.
Your one of the popular or your on the fringe. Sadly I’m on the fringe. To those who don’t know the fringe mean the outcast and the ones that the school turns there back too. Ever since the teachers and government got involved the live of people like me have not been better but a horrible plunge in to the nothingness we call life. We go by wondering what it might be like to one of the cool people or we might go by saying ” […]
It sucks when a mom or dad is sick. If you under the age of 30 it seems to be harder. It is worse if you have to take care of them. It is hard to take care of them, go to school and work. What I hate is when you feel alone in the whole deal. When your friends don’t understand that you had to stay up late cause your mom needed you and that’s why you look so tired.I can understand that you feel and believe you are alone. The truth is, if you are reading this then you are not alone. there […]
Death is staring me in every verse. My mind goes wild and I need to scream. My lungs cry out for air that isn’t there. Hang me up and watch me fall. Blood on all the fucking walls. My screams don’t come out. My body locks up and I don’t seem to even care. What can I do to make you stay? I want the truth. Tell me NOW. I want to cry. I want to die. Am I next? This is just a distant dream. What can this realy mean?
Eyes open wide, light comes in. The whole day starts again. Can you hear […]
I am not the most beautiful girl out there. If I don’t say so myself I look downright ugly. I am over weight but that does not mean people can yell it at me and sing it to me. I am 224 and 5’ 7â€. I know what I look like and I know that I need to lose weight but people can shove it. I wake up and I’m still here. I just wish I can find one person to as I am pretty before I die. I know I am just ranting here but dam. They don’t see the scars and the pain […]