Author

RogueShadow1281

My dad is an asshole and doesn't listen to me. I am agnostic but my dad forces me to go to the jehovahs witness cong. So ive never felt the greatness of celebrations ive never had a gf and i sit and play video games all day im 15 suicide is my answer

The misadventures of Nate…

by RogueShadow1281 9/30/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

He walked, rather swiftly, quiet as a mouse, across dark alleyways, through long, narrow tunnles, and past as few people as possible. As he walked, he kept a disguise in case he was discovered by the ones he hid from. These people he hid from wielded hidden knives and loved to sneak behind you and… Surprise!

He opened the front door to his house to find friends and family springing out of their hiding places in a frenzy, as if a lions pride were lunging at their prey to quickly subdue them. He stood there, wide-eyed, until the realization that many people would watch him intently […]

9/30/2012 5 comments

kil me shoot me please me

by RogueShadow1281 9/30/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I am a moron i have been choking wile people on sp chat told me to astop i really need it though i wann go numb i to,ld jessica my pposter partner i learned to deal with my depressiion that is not really tru i just try to but dont really know

sorry weeping angile im not lisening i waNT to but i cant just sit here and hope it will fget better while my hands barely do anything but write simle…. simple words on a piece of paper or typing i cant really do much with that. i dont care about spelling now cant fucos […]

9/30/2012 4 comments

I haven’t been on the original SP in a while….

by RogueShadow1281 9/30/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Been preoccuppied with sp chat and FBSP rather than the original. My old home. I have endured much in my past i jsut want out. I need a gun. Fast. My moms boyfriend wants to take me to mexico so we could shoot guns and shoot drug dealers cuz i want the army to “shoot people”. I want to off myself is the real reason. I am triggered by special phrases that fuck me over most of the time. Whats going on? almost always triggers the voices especially when im insane from 12-4 am… I started crying right now cuz of the voices coming back […]

9/30/2012 2 comments

The mind of…

by RogueShadow1281 9/16/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I feel sick to my stomach. Maybe it was lack of nutrition, most likely not the alcohol. I don’t know. I will try to avoid text slang as I am accommodated to it. My life has desensitized me, I guess. I just picked that word up from a previous post. I believe I might be insane but how can I be sure. I have begun wearing a “happy” mask at my new school as its the last year of high school, so why not keep everyone out of the loop of my insanity and depression.

Yesterday, my happy place was destroyed (the imaginary place in my […]

9/16/2012 2 comments

Quick rant and weird dream.

by RogueShadow1281 7/24/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

1:30 A.M.

Ghosts of my dreams of voices hit me randomly. I can’t explain what I hear, but it sounds like a voice, but like a broken record player rapidly replays what it said, anxiety fills me and then the continuous ringing fills my ears again.

I wonder when I’ll dream of it again.Â

7:10A.M.

Dreamt i was part of a program to test things for money. We started out on a metal bed where I laid down and it began descending. Quicker and quicker until I was free failing. While there i was freaking out until i realized it would lead to my death so […]

7/24/2012 3 comments

The AssassinÂ

by RogueShadow1281 7/11/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

This is a Story I just began. I write war stories and some weite poems and other stuff like that tell me if you likw it. Iit involves society and its problems sort of.

He sat in the corner of the hotel room. He had all the lights off. The view outside was of a world torn in pieces. Man went back to war and killed each other. Riots in the streets and no one was safe.

He thought about his old home. Now a wrecked black scorched skeleton of the home he knew. He remembered the bloodstained walls as he walked for the last time through […]

7/11/2012 0 comment

How do I keep from going insane?

by RogueShadow1281 7/9/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

The line between sane and insane (reality and imagination) is skewed heavily and it’s getting hard to decipher and find out if it’s which. How do I slow down the process of insanity? I still have my head, but not for forever.

How do I fix this? Memory games? Extra reading? Keeping my mind off of any critical thinking? I got the last one covered, this whole weekend I avoided thinking and further depressing myself. At least I ain’t going back to asphyxiating myself.

This is odd. Is it really insanity? Or is it just another disorder. Or maybe I’m actually getting schizo, after creating another persona […]

7/9/2012 3 comments

No more tears…

by RogueShadow1281 7/4/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Death, sadness, joy…
Doesn’t matter if it’s a sad anime called fruits baskets, or a dead person. I can’t cry, nor can I though intense happiness. The tears have dried up completely. I come about a breath away from tears, yet they never come. For some reason, I hope to be able to again.Â

———————————

My mom and step-dad are most likely getting a divorce now. I remember the day my mom took 2 hours extra to get home and my dad accused her of cheating. Then a few months later, my dad asked on one cold night. We sat on the cold front yard and he […]

7/4/2012 3 comments

What kind of world do we live in?

by RogueShadow1281 7/3/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Where words are used to make others feel like shit and break people’s spirits. Where actions are used to break people’s bones. Where people use others to make themselves feel better and get better things.Â

Where people have a materialistic view on everything. When someone acts different, then they are looked down upon. Society is fucked up. Why do we keep on trying to thrive? We cause others to feel more pain than pleasure. So much so that they can’t ever recover.Â

Why do we think that having someone living is much better than freedom through death? The basis of a democracy is to let people do […]

7/3/2012 0 comment

by RogueShadow1281 7/3/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

This is my advertising for the facebook Suiciide project. Add me Nathan Garcia. Email: garcianathan@rocketmail.com and I’ll add you to the group. Hope you have a good time.Â
By the way its a secret group so nO one can see your cOmments or posts and i wont post on your wall.

7/3/2012 15 comments

News about me as usual. Rant, and the like.

by RogueShadow1281 7/1/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Just a quick and (adorable) scary story. The creature in the dark…

by RogueShadow1281 6/29/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I sit here in the darkness. The only comfort is the light in my bathroom. I hear soft footsteps. I see a shadow of a creature on four legs. It’s creeping walk slowly limbers towards me. In its jaw is a bone, it crunches in its mouth as some strange liquid drips from its snout. It walks as I reach for the covers and I hide under. A dog howls outside.Â A very large dog, possibly a wolf.

The creature tugs lightly at the sides of the bed. It lightly gets on the bed as it creeps under the cover.Â

The boy jumps out of bed and […]

6/29/2012 3 comments

This is in case I do get to go back to OSP.

by RogueShadow1281 6/29/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I’m sorry if I snapped at anyone at all. I was merely trying to argue and was protecting others while explaining his position. (Sumer) Venom, don’t hate me because I side with someone. I’m the neutral party, if anything no one needs you to ***** out because they shared their ideas. Sumer don’t troll on here. These people are delicate. As am I. Don’t tread on the Bald Eagle. You are a rodent. Now scurry along and infest the russians home as they spill vodka over your body. Don’t hate the americans for the propaganda the russians spill.Â

Listen to the people that care, don’t hate […]

6/29/2012 4 comments

People have told me. Just wait a few years and it’ll get better. I’m waiting…

by RogueShadow1281 6/26/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Will I suddenly feel better as soon as I’m out of high school. Is that the big change. I’m sorry, but one year is long enough.Â

I waited a while, it hasn’t changed much, or I’m too focused on one thing to see it. I, instead, have been going through shitty times (yet I may have over-exaggerated a bit) and that hasn’t really motivated me to keep going.

Please I don’t wan to wait any longer. A part of me wants to end it, it’s probably when I’m most depressed. There’s another part that wants to wait it out.Â

The problem with having 2 or more perspectives/personalities […]

6/26/2012 7 comments

Rogue, take over for me this week… -_-

by RogueShadow1281 6/25/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Nathan has left the premises. It is I, Rogue Shadow, who has taken his place. I chose to document my presence since Nathan seems to refer to me as his deity, savior, and hero. If only he would realize he can be everything I am, just by trying hard and not giving up. How shall I do it. If only I had more control over him.

Whether it’s true or not. It’s good to attempt a different perspective on it all. I took a small survey/quiz by the teacher. It was meant to see if you’re more rebublican (conservative) or democratic (liberal). I took it and […]

6/25/2012 3 comments

by RogueShadow1281 6/23/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I barely slept. Maybe 4 hours. I should have waited one more so I could have woken up wide awake. I met some wonderful people. Emilio, Jamielyn, Alanis, Tosha and Allison. They are all awesome.Â

I was texting them all night long. I’ll be fine though, the tests, work, and videos require little brains to do. I remember everything when not being forced to go to school.

My dad, brother and stepmom are in long beach by now at a giant stadium, but instead f sports, it’s for their fuckng cult. Haha

We live in hell, earth is hell I’ve explained it well. In a past life I […]

6/23/2012 1 comment

Long title you can click on to see this next post.

by RogueShadow1281 6/21/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

I think its possible the monster energy drink is what’s causing my erratic behavior.Â

On a side note, I still can’t chew even a fucking donut. Really hurts when I do. Or a slice of pizza.Â

(805) 861-5295
Thats in case you wanna text me if youre in the vicinity of me.Â

So I just met schizojinx. Awesome girl. Um ifonlyallofyoknew: I am sorry i was being an asshole yesterday. I was angry and took my anger out on you i dont normally do that and all i can blame it on is the monster i drank. Howtosurvive: text me, sorry I fell asleep. Anyone wanna chat? My […]

6/21/2012 3 comments

by RogueShadow1281 6/21/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

Shhh theres fucktards nearby. Listen to them. They depress me too. I’m a fucking troll. Fuck you. I’m bored. Im depressed im tired im restless im angry im pissex im horny im a virgin. Fuck it I’m anything and everything but you.Â

Theres my fucking poem. Im tired, my mouth hurts i dont want to mas-ter-ba-te at all today. I meed a shower i dont care about spelling rght now. Fuck you. I’m so bored. I might have multi person disorder bipolar depressed horny virgin shitty tired insomnia cant distinguish reality form memory nor dreams. My cousin jasmine whom i love so dearly broke up with […]

6/21/2012 3 comments

by RogueShadow1281 6/21/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

9:20A.M:
I have summer school. Haven’t been able to get into a habit of sleeping earlier so I’ve been tired. Drank a monster today, but still tired but also wide-awake. I’m the fastest in my class of World History. I finish my work earliest due to my full year of review in my sophomore year that I failed. I sit alone at our 20 minute breaks.Â

They (campus supervisors) try to corner us onto the quad and I get anxious. There’s a lot of fucking kids from 4 highschools being crammed together.Â

I’m attempting to keep my mind blank from those thoughts about it. My memories are […]

6/21/2012 8 comments

by RogueShadow1281 6/10/2012

written by RogueShadow1281

My depression has returned.Â

I’m cracked, very close to my breaking point. Maybe I should break already. I just need an extra push.Â

I finally got over Nycolle a few weeks ago and as I basked in the sunshine, Jasmine, my cousin, broke up with me. It would have been our 1 month anniversary….Â

I love her so much, at first, it was so unreal, and I felt so numb, now I’ve begun to become more irritable now. My brother who knew about us, he doesn’t understand I’m pissy and pisses me off a lot.Â

I try not to get angry, but it just phases me too easily. When […]

6/10/2012 12 comments

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