Chronic Pain

1

Numb

  October 6th, 2018 by Undecided13

I’m in that point of life when I could no longer feel the sadness, no longer feel the pain. I could no longer feel anything. Its like I’m just numb. Just drifting into the darkness that had broken me more times that I could count. So much pain, I wished for it all to disappear. I wanted to escape, because I am too much a coward to face it. I guess I got my wish, then.

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8

no way out

  October 6th, 2018 by AKidWithAName

She was drunk.  Doesn’t that make it my fault?  She was raped before.  That’s the only reason she did it.  She wouldn’t have done it to me if it wasn’t done to her.  She was too drunk to know what she was doing and it wasn’t her fault, right?  And God will condemn me for adultery and homosexuality.  She’s taken any chance of heaven away from me.  She stripped me of any hope for a future.  There is nothing after this.  Not even death could let me escape this hell.  It’s never going to end and I am going to continue to be tortured by …

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7

I think about suicide everyday, even in college, thanks to Trump.

  September 23rd, 2018 by JustSomeGuy4455

My name is Taylor. I’m 26 years old and I am an autistic atheist who questions his sexuality. I am turned on by all genders yet I have no desire whatsoever to engage in sexual intercourse. I live in the deep south, Georgia to be exact, and I hate every second of it.

 

What happened to this world? When did it get to the point where I found that this planet is nothing but a cancer cell on the universe? I used to be so happy and carefree until I became an adult, now it’s just never-ending misery. I’ve been abused since childhood by other people …

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0

it is deadly

  September 19th, 2018 by Yikrens

to know I love the deaths creation.

but any of is for bme a taboo subject

 

so so don’t sing the deaths of. also I did.

 

this can’t be excused to some,

as strangers. maybe is takes a toll of relief..

but I’d stick to what I know as stranger.

and any must be alive. and that can be noone..

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7

Life is boring , Reality is boring , real life is boring , real world is boring

  September 14th, 2018 by niki

Especially when you’ve realized that nothing we do here in reality will ever compare to our imaginations. And no, I’m not talking about petty, shallow, superficial, & stupid imaginations like most people only have with their simple-minded brains. I’m talking about all those best fantasy movies, games, novels, comic books, anime/manga, etc, with all their magic, superpowers, & magical, fantasy, adventurous world/universe with its limitless, unlimited possibilities.

Fuck this reality.
Reality is boring, stupid, & depressing.

reality is boring , life is boring ,
it’s all about money
i hate money
i hate business
i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate …

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1

I’m breathing

  September 12th, 2018 by ariusversea

You don’t need to tell me all the reason I should hate myself. I already know them. I repeat them to myself every night with nootropics to keep me awake and kicking. Kicking myself for being a failure, for not doing anything right. For never being enough.

I try to do everything right. I read the textbooks, look over my notes, do the work. I could not work for an entire MONTH, an entire 30 DAYS, and I would STILL be advanced in my classes. because I work hard. I “grind” and “hustle” everyday. But unless I haven’t walked in the snow in nothing but flip …

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1

Honestly Honesty

  September 9th, 2018 by LiquidHuman

I’m not going to lie to you.
Sometimes i wish I could just fade out right here and now.
Im not going to pretend that I think life is one big open door.
And no no I don’t need you to tell me there is so much worth living for.
Because I won’t believe that yet.
I mean with the hatred and rigidity and sorrow and cruelty,
And how everyone thinks they’re right.
And well, I’ve heard it so much,
The arguments and rants of our parliaments
That I no longer believe any of us got it right.
And it’s slightly annoying that we’re so petty.
But not nearly as annoying as sad.
And you can call

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2

  September 7th, 2018 by DeadLast

 

“Suffrage is the pivotal right.”

Susan B. Anthony

 

“Independence is happiness.”

Susan B. Anthony 

 

 

“There is one thing higher than Royalty: and that is religion, which causes us to leave the world, and seek God.”

Elizabeth I

 

 

“I was

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1

I’ve tried, but to no avail. Sadness turns the merry bleak, and all will fade

  September 7th, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

I am tired; I am worn: my eyes falter, and fail, wishing of and seeing only what I’ll never have- a lover: one of with whom I would love with, love things, make love, and care for love. I lust with myself to faceless women with wordless mouths and tear-less eyes. After all things, my heart is well traveled; for, despite not finding love as of yet, it seems as though emotions can be harmed without being brought out to the light. This makes me bitter: my lips let my tongue out, to speak vile things to innocent and unsuspecting family members and odd and …

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5

Why I’m a Worthless Person

  September 6th, 2018 by LiquidHuman

I just fucked up today. I’m pretty sure I just ruined my relationship with my family. In all honesty, I hope they do hate me. I feel like I deserve it. Maybe this event will finally cement the idea that they raised a failure and they’ll just give up on me. So now, I’m writing this, as a way to publicly humiliate myself in a way that won’t make me a public nuisance. To tell everyone exactly what makes me such a piece of shit.

Honestly, I don’t know where to start. There’s so much wrong with me, putting into words how fucked up I am …

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0

Fever Talk

  September 5th, 2018 by PanicRevelation

I couldn’t sleep again.

 

I couldn’t change anything, I can’t be changed, I want to but I don’t, I won’t, I keep changing but at the same time nothing has.

 

I can’t. Can’t what?

 

There are so many thoughts but nothing at all coming to mind, it becomes so hazy and bogged down.

 

I can’t do this. I’ve lost my way in life again, I say that but to begin with I never had a direction at all. My head hurts.

 

Why does my body have to ache like this, my head is dizzy and burning hot but my body is cold to the touch and sweaty. Maybe I have …

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0

wave of depression

  September 5th, 2018 by tiredofchronicpain

I am a 29 year old male suffering from a soup of mental disorders and other tribulations, hence my other posts. I am unemployed, living with my parents after graduating with my electronics engineering degree. I am unable to find work, depressed, and tired. Instead of explaining my previous posts over again, I will just come to the point of how I feel now. At this moment, I am at a low no one else around me can surface. I suffer from something that I was afraid might get worse by time; I suffer from extreme self hate and body dysmorphic disorder – or as …

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1

Does it even matter

  September 3rd, 2018 by PanicRevelation

Does it even matter anymore? honestly it never did.

I tried so hard and so hard to die but each attempt failed leaving me here. So many years wasted.

How much more shame can i build up.

I thought maybe appreciating the small things in life would lead me to a happier life. after every failed jump and drowning and overdose. After bleeding out and forced into therapy for years and years at a time. I still feel so empty inside. Nothing has helped. I just want to die but even that has proven to be useless.

So I thought dying in a different way would be more effective.

More …

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0

Precognition of Pain

  September 2nd, 2018 by Yikrens

it’s okay that everyone turn missing for a little, for a short, for long, for ever.pretending soon or close to have born alone, to be raised alone, to learned alone and to loved alone, cried alone and married alone.

to have fucked alone, till I found myself in a lie, one of which the wreck turned to recover and inserted in this world alone that suddenly I turned insane to not been at all alone.

but all I meet, anyone there is getting me to know is fading out life.

the world is yet not close to understand, healed. corruption is raised and cultivated. any declaration destroyed and …

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1

stuck

  August 26th, 2018 by niladri54321

i dont know how to say this but failure always been part of my life.been following this page for 4 years n it gives me strength to survive this harsh world.

i m stuck. all my friends r moving forward n i feel like i m the only one no one gaves a damn my friend started ignoring me i guess bcoz they have jobs n i m still in college have tried to kill myself but i m a coward bcoz i dont want to lose my life like this all i have known is” giving up is not an option” no matter how hard …

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6

I’ve been taking Valium for 4 years

  August 24th, 2018 by Titania

I lost all my emotions 2 years ago. I feel less pleasure. I lost all my motivation.

I know it was the drug (Valium) that caused this.

But I can’t stop it, withdrawal is unsustainable. I can’t go to a mental hospital. I’ve been there before and they give neuroleptics. They’re not helping, they’re hiding the problem.

Who’s been taking benzodiazepines for years?

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3

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

  August 18th, 2018 by niki

reality is boring , life is boring , it’s all about money , i hate money , i hate business , i wish i live in the movie game anime manga novel comics books

I hate reality , reality is boring !
I hate real life , real life is boring !
I hate real world , real world is boring !

I wish I live in movie / movies , I wish movies were real
I wish I live in video games , I wish games were real
I wish I live in novels , I wish novels were real
I wish I live in anime , I wish anime …

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4

sorry mom

  August 14th, 2018 by thisisnothing

my mom told me to go drown about a year ago. the thought stuck in my mind and it really just cant be erased or ignored to the point that i actually conidered it. she doesnt love me. it’s obvious. i’m pointless. pointless to the point of my own mother wanting me dead. i decided to be numb and quiet. a bit recently, she said that if i would kill myself she wouldnt care. she shamed me in front of everyone and cursed at me. i know that i can’t bear this anymore. i tried to get help but she told me that everyone experiences …

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4

Pain wins in the end, everytime

  August 11th, 2018 by ButterBoi

I do not want to die. I really don’t. I just cannot keep living like this. I was injured. Bad. I should start by saying I am a very sensitive and empathetic person, maybe too much so, but to me people just seemed cruel, and so growing up I preferred the company of animals. I turned my empathy into a wonderful career, saving endangered species in very remote locations of the world, with very little interaction with people. It was perfect for me, and I loved it. Unfortunately, it is also very dangerous work. I did it long enough that my number finally got punched. …

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2

Broken

  August 9th, 2018 by blackout21

I am just going to describe my situation, thoughts and feelings here in arbitrary order:
-I am addicted to dimethyl ether(gas in hair spray cans) and media including porn.
-I just now realize how much damage this has caused. I fail at almost everything I try. (85% of the last 7 bigger things I tried)
-I was diagnosed with 3 different mental health issues.(ADD, PTSD, paranoid schizophrenia(here in Europe the chances of being employed with this alone is only around 15%(https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15133589))
-I think I have lost a good chunk of my intelligence.(I once had a high IQ(well seems like I only now know what I have lost))
-I am too uncreative …

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