Chronic Pain

2

OCD: A Cruel Joke

OCD: A Cruel Joke

  July 6th, 2018 by ShiSui

Have you ever heard of this type of obsession?

My obsession is about constantly questioning my sincerity of what I say, do, and think. I’m really bad with examples but it’s pretty much fixating on my intent towards almost everything, whether that intent was sincere or if I’m just faking it. I can’t convince myself otherwise I just keep doubting and obsessing if I’m doing/saying/thinking something for the reason I initially intended. Idk how to explain it any further because I’m obsessing whether this is a sincere post with the intent being to find others like me or if I’m just looking for attention. That’s really …

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1

Time travel

  July 5th, 2018 by PurpleCrystal

I wish I could go back in time and change a small detail in my life that would change everything. It would be great to grow up and not feeling useless. Maybe I would lived a true childhood and be less cold blooded. Maybe my parents would give me more attention than fighting all the time. Maybe my father wouldn’t humiliated me. Maybe I would be a better person that would be able to be someone useful than only eating and sleeping. Maybe I would never think about to die. All I feel able to do is to cry because I know I’ll never have …

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2

SCREAM

  June 30th, 2018 by flip the switch

ALL LIVING THINGS DIE

THE PHRASE RINGS IN MY HEAD

LIKE A PERSISTENT HEADACHE

THE PAIN, THE AGONY

THE COLD DEAD

ALL THINGS IRRITATING

SCRATCHING ABOVE THE SURFACE OF MY SANITY

ALMOST PENETRATING THE CEILING THAT WHICH IS MY INNOCENT HUMANITY

I AM FOREVER BELITTLED

BY MY COUNTLESS MENTAL ILLNESSES

TOO WEAK TO STAND ON MY FEET

FEELING LIKE BEING CRUSHED UNDER A HEAVY ROCK

IT THEREBY ARRIVES

LOOKING DOWN ON ME FROM ABOVE THE DARK

DEATH ITSELF STARES INTENTLY

BECAUSE OF COURSE ANOTHER SOUL WILL BE …

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5

Had to let off steam

  June 29th, 2018 by Urm8451n

This is my second post today, forgive me for spamming here..

I just had to rant a bit. I feel so closed in with my own fears and struggles. I feel like there is no real physical person I can talk to. My close friends are just letting me down again and again.

I feel like they can’t understand or comprehend how hard it is to go through what I am going through.  I just want to talk to someone who would understand. I barely can find a person like this anywhere.

I’m really sad and I’m struggling to go through each day. I know I won’t quit …

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3

Going for the blind shot

  June 29th, 2018 by Urm8451n

There are financial problems incoming, that occur due to my mom’s chemotherapy.

There are new negative interview results coming for me.   There is the rich dad out there doing nothing to help me.

My so “used to be”  best friends are at this moment over the beach having fun with my ex girlfriend.

I have nothing at this moment to support me,  there is nothing at this moment to assure my future.

There is just that blind shot of succeeding this bachelor degree in Electrical and computer engineering.

I’m in my second year, and I’m the youngest student.  Even tho my age, it is impossible to find others who …

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1

want to leave this world!!!

  June 28th, 2018 by leo6000

I was happy. I had a young soul. A boy with full of dreams. A god loving boy. A innocent one.

A boy who used to think that this world is so beautiful and it has no injustice.

I was curious about everything. i wanted to know more and more.

i used to love my life. my world of life was beautiful.

and yes this life can’t even tolerate the injustice a little bit.

and cares everything around him and lifeless

but as curious mind have started to learn more about the world it also started to become more frustrated..

NOW this life is become a stone.

it can’t find way to go …

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6

Pain 1-10

  June 27th, 2018 by efilife

Sometimes to measure how horrible I feel that day I make myself imagine a gun right in front of me and whether I would pull the trigger right in that moment. Sometimes there are days where I would want to pull it without thinking just so I don’t change my mind. That’s whats scary to me.

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3

I just cause stress and problems

I just cause stress and problems

  June 25th, 2018 by Krystami

I don’t know what to do or anything….I’m lonely, alone, worthless, not anything but a waste of space, time, effort…anything. I would give my life story but have so many times, would also be a book…i type too much. I annoy others I just gwt in the way. I have tourettes, as well as many mental issues some self diagnosed, others not,

I have many health problems like celiac disease, back issues, jaw messed up, etc.

 

I try to make friends, but everyone gets tired of the way I talk or I’m plain boring. I’m married and trying to get divorces…middle of it. He is extremely narsisistic …

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2

Bandaids

  June 24th, 2018 by SilentVoices

The medicine is like a bandaid.

After months of crawling in the metaphorical dirt, my physician got fed up and referred me to a psychiatrist. I didn’t fight it, I gave up.

I’ve given up for a while now. I’m in a mental limbo: I care… but I don’t.

How may times have I cycled through the mental healthcare system? I’ve lost count.

Have a crisis… see the Doc… meet the new Psych… get meds… ignore everything…. Have a crisis- again.

I thought I was doing well. I always think I’m doing well. The medication slaps a lid on my emotions, muffles the voices… for a while. But when the …

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4

Do you know what I mean?

  June 22nd, 2018 by Cause of Death: Suicide

How do they put the ‘Pretty Pictures’ behind your eyes??

Category: Night Terrors/Nightmares/Sleep Paralysis

To me, the images appear as slides underneath a microscope. Being inserted and then withdrawn. Here…place another. Some move like a theatre screen, others are just images. Never anything but dreadful, nonetheless.

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3

The void

  June 21st, 2018 by Urm8451n

What is the void for you?

I know for me it is the feeling when I’m completely alone and tired at the battle field.

The time of the day when I take a break, to grasp for air, and I completely realize I’m alone in this.

The void is what I encounter when I think about a relationship and love.  How can I get into a relationship?  Is it possible with such stressful and busy life?

The void is my room when it is weekend and old friends from my town don’t invite me to hang out.

The void is that feeling I get when I have extreme abdominal pains …

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2

I’m fine. Leave it.

  June 20th, 2018 by ariusversea

So if you see me walk down the hallway and you want to ask me if I’m okay…

While you refuse to believe me when I whisper yes…

Just know that I’m thinking about how you’d react if I told you I wanted to die.

You wouldn’t want to help me then.

That’s a promise.

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3

I cant anymore

  June 15th, 2018 by ctrz

I’ve sat here, countless days, haven’t left the house, haven’t DONE anything, I have no purpose, nobody is willing to hear my cries, even my best friend, whom I thought was exactly like me cant see anything wrong. Im leaving to go to Japan in 12 days, and after that, when I get back, Im going to go see her and then, then Im done. Im done not having a reason to live, im done being hurt by everyone, im done with my deadbeat family who always bash on me. there is no way that im going to sit here and let this happen. so, …

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7

******** Hypoxia

  June 13th, 2018 by kirlin.blair

If you let me fall in love with you like I want to, I’d do anything for you. I mostly want to massage you, eat you out, give you the best food and drink, and remember the smallest things about your personality.

I’d even help you enact a painless and undetectable suicide, if you were completely sure that’s what you wanted. It’s your right and I would never assert otherwise. I would bury your secret and cover it with a nonplussed veneer. I signed up for the whole woman with all her flaws and self-doubt, just so I could find joy in giving. Obviously I’d rather …

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1

Just sharing

  June 11th, 2018 by idoztknoe

I dont want to talk about it.
I wake up every day with this gnawing feeling. I try to push it away, but it gets worse.
It doesn’t stop. This feeling.
It hurts. It stings. All the heartache, the stress…it gets to you.
But all I ask, is that you understand.
Its deep depths of darkness, and loneliness. Like a boulder of weight always on your back. Slowly hurting you.
It doesn’t stop unless you make it.
When you die you cease to exist, so why fight if when your dead it ll all not exist.
Some took the leap. I really do envy them.
Please just understand that I’m not trying to be …

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5

Fading away

  June 10th, 2018 by wearehannahbaker

This is my first time writing here. I have read so many comments on the past few months and always wonder if those people are really gone now.

Finally I feel like I belong somewhere, I guess. Been lying all day in bed with absolutely no strength to get up and just crying.

We rock, guys….

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1

Dizzying effects

  June 8th, 2018 by mo992

So far I’ve been chasing myself and trying to keep distracted. I’m failing.

My health is failing. I feel nauseous and wonky. I act as though everything is fine and my life is faultless.

My heart is racing in my chest. My arms are weak and my eyes burn to the back of my skull. I am restless and yet empty.

I’m failing. I just can’t see myself carrying on like this.

I’m so tired of being tired. I would like death to come and embrace me now but I am in too much pain to go and seek it.

Damn chronic illness. Why me? I would not wish this …

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11

The noise won’t leave

  June 8th, 2018 by sansfranzdeput

I have Tourette’s Syndrome; OCD; light Autism; chronic and crippling depression, anxiety, and various medical differences/flaws/disorders. My Tourette’s- or tics, as they are often called-. manifest themselves mostly in my mind. With the exception of a few verbal tics, and a plethora of motor/physical tics, I can hide the urges and pain which plagues and afflicts me at my every waking moment. My wife and the rest of my immediate family are all well aware of my suffering; they, unfortunately, however, realize or wish to realize the full extent to which I am truly in pain. The only spans of consciousness wherein I draw pleasure …

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2

Courage

  June 7th, 2018 by PurpleCrystal

I wish I could have enough courage to die. I already wrote my suicide note and I look at it everyday asking myself when I can finally publish it and just rest to never wake up on this body again. I’m so tired that sometimes is really hard to think about anything clearly. I can’t read a book anymore because I always forget what I read. When I play games I get angry so easily because I can’t be concentrated enough on what is happening and I say the game is trash even if it’s not.

I’m unemployed for the last three years and I depend …

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5

Never hanging again

  June 4th, 2018 by Agonizing

Noose snapped still tied to my neck and I was too disoriented to tell, found myself in the bathroom looking in the mirror feeling extreme strain and not knowing why I was feeling increasing danger, and I said out “what’s going on?” thinking i had come out the noose hence the fact i was now in the bathroom away from the hanging wardrobe, I was confused I could still feel the tie and i started picking at it and then saw it was frayed, i pulled at it desperately until I could loosen the rope, I got it off and threw myself on the bed …

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